I fell in love with him. Yes, it's stupid, I mean someone online, really? I never really thought of the consequences. This guy was sweet and cute and friendly and I enjoyed talking to him. Which all the teenage magazines had told me was reason enough to ask the guy out. It sounds stupid, I know, but you have to understand I didn't understand. I had no experience with guys. I'm a virgin in every aspect you don't need to know about.
He'd changed his profile picture to a picture of an emo guy. The typical black hair, pierced eyebrow, blue eyes, and trademark sassy pout. Exactly how I'd imagined him. When I double checked it was him, by asking him (probably should have double checked using another method), he said yes. I was over the moon. Me, the dull girl, had found her dream guy. What are the odds?
Let me let you reread that first paragraph. It was me who asked out Zac. I thought he fancied me but he never forced me into a relationship. Does that give him some credit? I hope so. The day beforehand, I'd spent ages typing and deleting ways to ask him:
Coffeeheart_x: You're awesome...do you want to get together? xxx
Coffeeheart_x: It feels like I can feel you next to me every time we talk, can I
Coffeeheart_x: Can we
Coffeeheart_x: You feeling the hubba hubba baby? ;))))) xxxxxxxxx
I didn't send any of them. Which you all should know by now, seeing as you've probably been through our messages (still freaking out about that, slightly, by the way). It was the day after my lame attempts that I just messaged him first thing with:
Coffeeheart_x: Hey Zac, can we talk? xxx
We were on first name terms now, after a year of talking. A whole year. It should have fizzled out by then, but it hadn't. We were both part of the 'Senior' group on 'TeensQuack', which meant it was our job to welcome the many new people who came onto the site. Looking for friendships the majority of them barely had in the real world. So many pretty girls joined that year, the kind known as 'Tumblr Girls', even though they probably didn't have Tumblr. It made me wonder if Zac spoke to them all.
It made my heart sting every time I saw both him and one of those girls online at the same time. This fear soon sank away, as Zac and I would gossip and bitch about them, which made me feel guilty but it was too hilarious to stop.
The day of the start of our 'official' relationship was one of the few we did not discuss them.
Ur_666: dont we always? ;) xxx
We'd got to the point where we were speaking at every spare moment that we could. Because both of us live in England, there were no messy timezones, so we'd message each other in the morning, at breaks and lunchtimes at school, and all evening. My parents just figured I was getting really stuck into my studies, as it was GCSE year. My results weren't as good as they could've been because of this. If I'd studied hard I could've had the results I needed to get into sixth form. Which would've been better for me, as a person. But I had other plans for my education. You'll find out about them later.
Coffeeheart_x: Yes, but you know what I mean! Need to talk to you about something important... xxx
Ur_666: sure, knock yourself out xxx
Coffeeheart_x: I really, really like you, you know? And I was wondering if you feel the same xxx
I remember that my stomach was in knots at that point. Never had been so nervous in my entire life. Of course, nervous moment in my life #1 is now knocking on Zac's door. I'm not going into that yet though, as a few more things happened before then. This is a significant moment I'm describing now, and it may not seem it to you guys, but it's a small bit of romance. Let me treasure it.
Ur_666: woah. xxx
Coffeeheart_x: Woah...? xxx
Ur_666: youre fantastic and i have very...strong feelings for you. but what do we do? xxx
Coffeeheart_x: I don't know...maybe we should just get together? :) xxx
Ur_666: itll be difficult xxx
Coffeeheart_x: All good things are! xxx
Ur_666: true. well then, yes :* xxx
That was about as romantic it ever got with me and Zac. It's the only moment in all the three years where I can honestly say I felt like an online Disney princess. Which sounds strange, but seriously, I felt glittery and gorgeous and amazing. I had my Prince Charming, and boy, Zac is charming.
Things changed from that day. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him out, but it's an amazing feeling, knowing that you're somebody's and somebody is yours. Right now, as I'm writing this, I still have Zac, as far as I know, so that feeling hasn't died. All my feelings for him should have died when he sent me this message the next day. But they didn't. Like I said, I figured a lot of this was normal, because no one had told me otherwise:
Ur_666: im feeling kinda horny...care to help girlfriend? ;) xxx