It's so confusing. My position in Raelia, or my love for Ashley. It was really hard decision to be made. I was so confused. I knew I would hurt her, it was just sooner or later.
Hurting her was like killing me. I didn't want to do it but I know I eventually will. I shouldn't have fell for her and get myself in this position and hurt her.
I was going crazy, a million thoughts running through my head. I was stuck. I was a Heartbreaker, I was suppose to break her heart not love her.
Is there other choices to be made? Are there any other possibilities? Are there? I sighed but I knew I had to decide. I will be going back to Raelia soon after a few more weeks, that will make it worst for her, me disappearing suddenly.
Am I willing to give everything up for her? I was, but the consequences. My position in Raelia, everything there. If I choose to stay with her, I can never go back to where I came from.
I was going to hurt her anyways, it's either quicker so that'll she'll forget me easier or stay longer and make her stay in my shadow. I didn't want that.
I don't know what to do...
But the decision needs to be made.
So I've decided.
I walked along the corridor to my locker and an arm snaked around my waist. " What are you doing Zach? " I asked and rolled my eyes.
" Nothing, I miss you. " he said and held me tight, not allowing me to move. He turned me around and kissed me on the lips. Sending fireworks around my body again.
After what felt like forever, we pulled apart and took in deep breaths. I smiled at him and he smiled back, but there was something in his eyes, something different, the smile didn't reach them.
" Is something wrong? " I asked him but he just shook his head, pulling me into a hug so tight like he never wanted to let me go and afraid that I would.
I smiled at what he was doing. He made me feel so warm, so safe and secure.
" Lesson time dude. " I said and only he let me go.
" I love you. " he said it again and I just smiled again, I couldn't help but feel happy around him all the time.
" I love you too. " I said and he walked me to my lessons.
After a whole long hour of Maths, the bell rang, signalling the end of school. I packed my bags and went out of the classroom with Emma.
" Wanna go bowling today? " she asked.
" Uhm.. "
" Come on! We've never been there for such a long time! " she said with her puppy eyes.
" Fine! " I said and we got into her car.
" STRIKE! " I shouted at the ball hit it's target and I shrieked happily.
" Greta job girl! " Ashley said and laughed.
" You're turn! " I said.
" Wait, I need to use the toilet. Be right back. " she said and I nodded.
I walked to the counter and sipped on the bottle of Coke I bought and waited for her to come back. After 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, I still haven't see her.
What if she's in trouble? I was starting to panic and went to the direction of the washroom.
It was pretty dark in the small hallway to the bathrooms.
I walked slowly towards it. Suddenly, I heard a moan. Ugh, what the heck?
I walked closer and I heard another moan, this time. louder. Was someone doing it in the bathroom? Ew...
" Oh my goshh....Oh.....Oooohhh.... " I heard again, I was feeling disgusted and was going to scream at those people.
I opened the door of the bathroom stall with a loud bang, trying to scare them.
But instead, I stared at them in shock. In there was Emma, her back facing me, her legs clung onto a male's body, and a pair of hands supporting her legs, I looked up to their faces that was facing me already and I felt a stab to my heart.
In front of me was my best friend Emma, making out with my boyfriend Zach.
Tears sting my eyes and I looked at them. The feeling on my heart was unbearable.
" Wh-what are you guys doing? " I asked.
" Isn't it obvious enough bitch? "Emma asked annoyed.
" Emma..w-what... " I stuttered, lost in words.
" Poor bitch don't even know what to say! " Emma laughed and Zach chuckled.
" W-what are you guys.. " I was too shock to say anything.
" What do you think Ashley? " Zach asked, annoyed, no more warmth in his tone.
" Zach I thought...I-I... " I still couldn't say anything, the pain in my chest was too much, I felt like my whole body was on fire.
" Ashley, we're f*cking here so get out. " Zach said.
" Zach Clayton. You're cheating on me. " I said, finally manage to get my voice back.
" I do that to every girl Ashley.. Gosh, did you really think you were special, you're just like the others, you think to highly of yourself. " Zach said with hatred and annoyance in his voice.
" You said you loved me. " I said, tears pouring down my face.
" I said that to everyone, see, I love you Emma. " he said and pecked Emma on the lips.
" Is there something wrong Zach? " I asked, my voice cracking.
" Nothing, you're the one that expected too much, " he said. " Will you just leave? "
" O-okay... then. W-whatever. " I stuttered, closing the door with a loud bang and I ran out of the bathroom and out of the bowling alley, into the cold evening air.
I started running, down the empty road, I swear I've never ran so fast before. I couldn't stand there and face them.
I felt so embarrassed but my heart was breaking into pieces. Like it was being ripped out of my heart, thrown onto the floor, stepped on and got ran over by a car, thrown to a bin and left there to shatter into pieces, wounded so badly it could never be healed.
I stopped running when I reached a meadow and started crying my eyes out. My best friend, I thought she really was my friend, my boyfriend, I thought that it was true.
I should have known that i was nothing special to him. To not have let him break my walls down and capture my heart, only to burn it into ashes.
I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was dying from the pain forming in my heart. It was torturous.
I started choking for air. Who did I think I was? Someone that can change a player's habits? What was I thinking? I deserved what I get.
I knew this would happen but I still allowed it. I thought he would change for me, but he didn't. He's still the heartbreaking asshole and jerk.
I couldn't stand the pain I my heart. I let him in and this is what I get in return. I thought he loved me for real, it felt so real but now I know the truth, he was just playing with my heart.
" Zach Clayton... I hate you. "
I almost cried writing this chapter. Even I hate Zach for doing this but we all know he didn't have a choice... He was a Heartbreaker, even worst, a top ranker Heartbreaker...
Please don't kill me, there're more to come...
Please don't forget to comment and vote!!
xoxo ~ Staying_Alive