Today is the day. We are finally going to meet. I'm so nervous. I deliberate over clothes before deciding my entire wardrobe is rubbish. Unfortunately it is still not considered socially acceptable to turn up to a date in the nude. A date. Yes, that's what it is. A date. I eventually settle on jeans and a hoodie. He won't care though. I wouldn't care if he turned up in a dress made of garbage bags, I'm just so happy I'm actually going to finally meet him.
The bus ride can't go by fast enough and I practically sprint down the streets until I see the familiar sign advertising 'Unique, vintage records in fine condition' . I burst into the musty shop and look around, barely able to contain myself. The empty shop looks back at me expectantly. I take a deep breath and try to calm down. He's just late, of course he's still coming. No, I'm sure he just got delayed. Calm down, you're early, he won't arrive for a while yet. I'm interrupted from my thoughts as a stooped old man comes into the store.
The old man turns suddenly and I feel his eyes on the back of my neck. "George?" He croaks, "George, is that you?" "Pardon me," I say, backing away from this unsettling individual, "Do I know you?" I ask. "Why of course you know me Georgie, you love me and I love you! We can be together now!" He exclaims. "No," I gasp, "No it can't be you, Jonathan can't be you." He smiles a horrible leering smile and advances towards me. "But it is me, and now you can call me by my real name, Peter, and don't worry, come with me and we can be together. I will protect you from your bullies. I will protect you from everything."
Peter. His name is Peter. The boy I fell in love with was made up. A charade by a sick pervert. He was the hunter and I was his prey. I told him everything. He knew more about me than any other human being ever had. My fears, my vulnerabilities, my hopes, my dreams. And even his name was a lie.
He's still babbling on about our future life together but I can no longer hear him. Suddenly it all comes rushing back. All the confusion, temptation and bitterness. All the pain, self hatred, frustration and misery. All of the thoughts, memories and feelings I had tried so hard to forget. It all came rushing back at once.
I push him away from me, he is repulsive and I feel all wrong and disgusting for even being near to him. I suppress a scream of agony and run out the shop, tears clouding my vision. I run down the street, past pedestrians who either turn to look at me in concern or just ignore me and carry on walking. I see nothing, houses and people passing in a single anguished blur. I run and I run and I run. Straight into the path of an oncoming car.