"You were right Vi, about everything." She sobbed as she paced back and forth in my room, the door locked.
"It's not too late, there's still time for you." I assured her, sitting criss cross on my bed.
When I saw her outside, I ran downstairs and and welcomed her in in a heartbeat. Only once have I seen Brooke cry, and I have never been allowed to speak of it again.
"It is though! He's already told me that he's leaving Candor. He won't tell me where because he doesn't want me to follow him....he's treating me like a monster!" She choked and sobbed and wiped the mascara from her eyes with the tissue I gave her.
"What?" I ask, confused.
Is she not crying because of her decision to stay in Candor, but wants to go to Dauntless?
"Franklin says that he doesn't want to me to follow him to whatever faction he's going to. I thought he loved me.....he said he loved me."
"Wait, he broke up with you?" I asked.
She looked at me funny.
"Yes, that's why I'm crying Viola." She spoke it slowly through sobs as though it was implied.
"I thought you were crying about wanting to leave for Dauntless." I explained.
She inhaled and rolled her eyes. She wasn't just mad, she was livid.
"God dammit Viola, why can't I just talk to you about problems in my life without you spinning it around into the factions?! Believe it or not, there is more to life than factions!" She roared.
"I'm sorry if I think that that sack of shit boyfriend of yours is not as important as your future!" I snapped.
"What do you care about my future? You already know what your doing in life, so you have to intrude into mine?"
"Sorry for trying to help you escape from the bottomless put of bad decisions you've made!" I hissed, folding my arms.
"Yeah, like becoming your friend. That one is at the top of my list right now."
The words felt like a slap in the face.
"No, I think you dating some jerk and screaming at the one person trying to help you is at the top of your list."
"You are not the one person trying to help me." She grumbled.
"Who is then?" I challenged.
"Raymond! We talk every day, you know that? We've both decided a long time ago where we are going." She yelled, pointing in the direction of Raymond's house.
Raymond? No, it can't be true.
"Get out of my house." I felt the warm tears stream down my cheeks.
She glared at me and but her lip.
"No problem." She hissed.
Brooke grabbed her bag and swung it I've shoulder before storming out the door and slamming it shut.
I fell onto my bed and screamed into my pillow, tears and makeup staining my face. I don't care anymore. Brooke can leave or stay for all I care.
I cried for what felt like days, but was only and hour or two. I felt the picture in my pocket and pulled it out angrily. Brooke was right next to me, smiling and laughing, her cheek pressed to mine. I ripped the picture right down the middle and threw it out. I couldn't bear to look at any of their faces. I couldn't decide if I was upset or angry, but whatever this horrible emotion was that's coursing through me is
I put my pajamas on and laid in bed for a while, listening to the rumble of my mother and father's conversation die down and eventually all the lights went out. I stared at the ceiling and thought long and hard about Dauntless.
What will it be like? Will I even make it through initiation alive? Maybe I wasn't cut out for Dauntless
"Come in." I whispered.
It was Alvin. He too was in his pajamas and his hair was messy like he had been asleep for a while.
"Did I wake you?" He breathed.
"No, I can't sleep."
He sat across from me, criss cross and I did the same. He was the only one in this house that I really liked anymore. His green eyes lit up the dark room.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Why are you leaving?"
I blinked and sighed.
"There are some things you just have to do. And for me, leaving for Dauntless is one of them." I held his hand tight.
"But you can't leave, when you do I'll be all alone. I can't do this alone." His voice was small.
"Leaving doesn't mean I don't love you any less, in fact it's the hardest part of leaving for me."
"Why though? You thrive here, you have friends and people love you." He looked in his lap.
"You have that too." I made him look into my eyes.
"I don't feel right here unless you're with me. Mom and Dad and Jessi and everyone here doesn't understand. B-but you do Vi." His voice was shaky.
I can't do this.
"Alvin, me leaving won't change much. It's jut like I'll be sleeping over at Brooke's house or something." Her name was hard to say.
"But forever...it's so long."
I cannot do this at all.
I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I looked at him and my heart didn't just break, it shattered into a million pieces inside my chest.
"You'll grow up and it will be like when Jessi left, it'll turn into a dull pain that won't hurt that much anymore." I held his hands tight, holding onto them as though they were anchors grounding me into this life.
"No it won't. Not you." Tears fell down his cheeks and landed onto our linked hands.
I pulled him into a bone crushing hug and buried my face into his neck. He did the same a gripped onto me tight. I choked out individual sobs as I held him so tight I could barley breath. I never thought leaving would be this hard.
Will I even make through the night?
"I love you." He cried.
"I love you too. I love you too."
We let go of each other and I held him at arms length, gripping his shoulders. I looked him in the eyes and gave him a serious expression.
"When you turn 16, you can do what you think is best for you but I'll be in Dauntless for you. I'll wait for you, okay?"
"Okay." He nodded.
"No tears tomorrow?" I asked.
"No tears." He promised.
He got up and walked to the door but stopped himself.
"You know, you're pretty in the dark." He half smiled.
"Everyone's pretty in the dark." I reminded him.
"True." He closed the door with a soft click, leaving me alone in the dark with my promise.
I was no longer fighting for my own life in Dauntless anymore.
I'm fighting for Alvin's reassurance too.