It's been almost a year. One year since it happened. I have spent 12 months pouring my soul into these letters. And I don't know what else to do. They only helped for so long.
They helped me cope with the pain of losing you but eventually that faded until this was just a fucking normal thing for me to do. They stopped helping 5 months ago but I kept writing and burning the pages. Those letters made me feel absolute fucked.
I shouldn't be fucking crying into pages that will never be read. I am a grown ass man who is so broken and with scars being reopened because I lost control, Castiel. All because of the absolutely beautiful man who I happen to love.
Son of a bitch, Cas, I don't know how much longer I can hold on.