Drinking, Driving and Drafting

Dean Winchester cracks after Castiel dies and spends months driving to states he doesn't know a thing about, drinking anything he can, and drafting letters that he'll never get a chance to send.

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11. XI

Cas,

I have prayed to you for years. I never stopped. Then I watched the life leave your eyes as I stabbed a blade into your heart, over and over again. I couldn't feel anything. But the emotions flew back. 

I've prayed to every angel Sam and I have ever met. Including God. They never answered like you did. You came when I called because you loved me. 

Kansas screwed me over. My mom died here, Sam almost did the same night. Now we're living in a fucking bunker filled with a bunch of shit about demons and all these things that like to fucking kill people. We have a fucking dungeon instead of a basement. I can't take it here. I have to leave. I haven't been out of the state since I was in California and Sam's to scared to leave for a hunt. He keeps thinking I'll leave again or go insane and let myself die. 

                                                                                   I fucking love you,

                                                                                                                  Dean

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