A siren with an almost buzzing sort of sound reverberated through the her castle, and through her head as she sat up in her bed at 1:31 AM.
"ZOK!" she screamed, "What in the name of 034500018 is going on?!"
ZOK rocketed through her door. "Almighty Z! We are under attack!" His volume adjusted to be heard over the screeching noise.
"So?!" The Almighty Z bellowed, "Do you want to wake up the entire god-forsaken planet of Asdfghkl on the edge of the sane universe?! Turn off the freaking sirens!"
"I am not able to comply," ZOK replied. His robotic voice was loud, but did not take on the strained quality of a proper yell emitted by vocal chords.
"It violates surprise attack protocol 110938365 which states that-" The Almighty Z cut him off with.
"This isn't a surprise attack, ZOK," she said exasperatedly, "We had intel, remember?"
"Oh yeah," ZOK said, scratching his metal head with a delicate fingertip. “but we were not informed the exact time of the attack, therefore it was a surprise.”
"The time was a surprise, yes, not the attack itself! Now I command you to turn off the FREAKING siren before I turn you into scrap metal and send you to the Galactic Hairdryer factory! Got it?"
The sirens ceased.
"Good. Now report." She slipped out of bed, tied her blonde hair up into a ponytail, and walked into her closet, shutting the door behind her.
"There are pods of armed, Tealian ships surrounding the planet. Triple code red obliteration mode has been activated and shields are currently holding. Defensive action is advised.” ZOK said through the door.
"Proceed to arm mega laser cannon satelites and fire at will." She sent the command through all telepathy circuits as well. There were a few sounds like distant thunder from outside.
"They are returning laser fire, targeting defense systems and shield generators." The ground vibrated slightly.
"Reciprocate!” Z commanded, coming out of her closet in a purple t-shirt, black leather jacket, jeans, and her trusty Converse boots. Beneath these, she had “nearly everything-proof”, light weight, thin, flexible, regenerative armor the Malice had designed for her. The ground shook again. “C'mon, we need to get to Command Central.” [Insert DUN DUN DUUUNNNN effect here]
Zee walked out the door of her room onto the landing at the very top of her tower. ZOK followed. She proceeded down the spiral staircase until she reached the very middle stair, where she began counting aloud.
“Up one, two three...” she jumped, then jumped again. “..down two...” with a final jump, a panel in the wall beside her that had been invisible a moment before slid back and to the side, revealing a gleaming silver fireman’s pole and chute in the ground next to it. This was one of the many secret entrances into the castle’s Command Central. The castle was designed so there would be a nearby entrance from anywhere in the building in case of an attack. Z and ZOK stepped through the entryway. Once inside, Z pushed a button, closing the door, and spun down the pole. ZOK jumped into his chute with a “Geee!” (even though he wasn’t dancing in a duck-like fashion, but instead was falling down a dark, vertical tunnel at high velocity).
After a few seconds ZOK crashed onto the polished cement floor with a clang. The Almighty Z spun down gracefully after him, landing softly, like a cat. Command Central was a large circular room with grey walls. Shiny, white counters that projected interactive, holographic displays created a segmented smaller circle in the middle, and ZORG were stationed around this counter. In the middle of that circle was a chair and a desk, on which sat a small laptop.
The laptop’s name was ZACHARIAH, which stood for Z’s Amazing Computer Hub And Robotic Intelligence Array Handler. It wasn’t the only computer that ran the ZORG, but it was a vital part of the ZORG’s computer network. It was also The Almighty Z’s personal access point to a variety of systems. Instead of ZACHARIAH, she called him Zed.
The Almighty Z walked quickly across the room and sat down in front of Zed, barking orders while typing furiously. The ground shook violently.
“Report!” She ordered.
“Shields are holding at eighty two percent,” the drone in charge of monitering them reported.
“Return fire and launch defence ships to engage the enemy!”
“Shields will have to be removed for two seconds to allow the ships’ departure.” the drone warned.
“Will they have time to get through?”
“According to the information we have on their technology, they will not have time to pass,” one of the intel robots said, looking at a diagram of a Tealian ship on his holographic screen.
Zee watched on a large viewscreen as the silver pods shot up from the planet towards the neon Tealian ships, which were spherical and spiky, like those annoying little briars in your backyard. Just as they reached the edge of the shield, indicated by a dotted, red line on the display, and the shields drone said “Shields down,” the Tealian ships disappeared.
“Hey!” The Almighty Z shot up from her seat. “Where did they go!? You! Enemy tracking drone! Locate!”
“They are one mile from the surface,” The enemy tracking drone said. The shield drone’s antennae drooped.
“How did they do that?”
“There is not sufficient data to support a conclusion,” another intel drone reported.
“Can we shrink the shield and block them?”
“The Tealian ships would only be pushed closer to the surface.”
“Crap.” The ground shook hard enough that Zed slid a few inches on his desk and Z’s stomach churned. “Report!”
“They are targeting the Transport Station. Damage is minor. Triple code red obliteration mode is providing a secondary shield from air attacks. Heavily armed Tealian soldiers are ejecting from their ships.” On the screen it appeared that one of those playground ball pits had been emptied from the skies as the colorful, round creatures fell from the sky in cushioning bubbles that would pop on impact, leaving the soldier uninjured.
“Infantry and flight troops to location. Engage ground cannons. Consistent fire. Now!” ZORG appeared on the scene, and for a minute, landing Tealians were instantly eliminated.
Until they started firing back. They were using weapons that the ZORG had never seen before. They charred the ZORG’s metal bodies with high-voltage lighting bolts, and left them lifeless on the ground, glow extinguished and circuits sparking in a horrifying fireworks display.
Z’s heart fell like a stone into water- with a thick ka-plunk. Her throat seized up like she was on the verge of tears, but her eyes were dry.
“Retreat,” Z said, deadpan. “Fortify the castle and relocate all forces to castle defense.”
She watched in silence as her planet was ravaged by giggling, furry mammals. As she stood, watching what she thought was impossible occur, the stone in her stomach sparked. When the displays were hacked and Greta the Great and the Great Teal’s laughing faces appeared, gloating and triumphant, the spark became flame.
When the screens shut off, Zee turned around to face the somber-looking drones with droopy antennae and slumping shoulders, she took a deep breath and held her chin high.
“ZOK,” she said in a calm, controlled voice. “Get me a phone.”