"Ashton, can I speak to you alone" I asked. He nodded his head and followed me to the bathroom. Ashton looked at me in confusion.
"What is it Cal" he asked looking puzzled.
"Do you think that Luke really does like me" I asked nervously. Ashton looked at me and smiled.
"I'm not entirely sure what goes on inside Luke's head so I don't know whether he likes you or not, but I do know that he cares about you a lot" Ashton explained, giving me a hug. I gave him a small smile and hugged him back. I felt my heart break a little with the thoughts of Luke never being mine. Why would someone like Luke even like someone like me?
"Guys, what are you doing in there" Michael shouted from the other side of the door. Me and Ashton looked at each other. I quickly opened the door and left the bathroom without saying another word. I went to my bunk and sat on the bed. I really wish that Luke liked me the way that I like him.
After I was sure that everyone was in bed, I quickly got up and went into the bathroom. I locked the door and grabbed my razor from the top shelf. I slowly put the blade to the pale skin of my forearm. I slid the blade across my skin, watching as beads of blood fell to the floor. I continued to cut my arm with the razor while I thought about how fat and ugly I was. After leaving seven good cuts on my arm, I put the razor up and wrapped a bandage around my arm to stop the bleeding. Just then I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Luke are you in there" I heard Calum shout through the door. I quickly grabbed some toilet paper and clean up the blood that fell onto the floor.
"Um yeah, I'm in here" I said, pulling my sleeves down before opening the door. Calum walked in and looked at me in confusion.
"What" I asked, feeling uncomfortable. I looked into Calum's eyes and saw them filled with fear and worry.
"Why were you crying earlier" he asked. I looked at him in fear. I can't let him know that I was crying over him. I can't let him know that I have a huge ass crush on him and fucking cut myself up because I know he will never love me the way I love him. He can't know or it might ruin our friendship forever.
"I was just upset, that's all. Please don't worry about it Cal" I said, looking him straight in the eyes. Calum slowly nods his head before turning around and leaving me alone in the bathroom. I walk out of the bathroom and saw Calum sitting on the couch.
"Calum, are you mad at me" I asked as I slowly sat down beside him. He looked at me and quickly shook his head.
"Why would I be mad at you?" Calum said looking at me with worry.
"Because I won't tell you the true reason why I was crying earlier." I replied, fidgeting with my fingers and trying to avoid eye contact.
Luke, I'm not mad at you. You don't have to tell me the real reason if you don't want to. I only asked because I couldn't stand to see you that upset" Calum said, rubbing my back. I gave him a small smile in appreciation. That is one of the many things that I love about Calum. He is so understanding and he doesn't force you to tell him something if you don't want to.