Fuck You Over

*Said I was a douche bag won't call back, worst hangover you ever had. Felt so good at first but you knew it would never last.*
I stared at the girl in the front seat. Was that really my only competition? I had to be up against something better than that, something more classy and less trashy perhaps?
"This is Violet, she goes to the high school down the road from ours." Ashton said smirking at me. I smiled and shook her hand.
"Hey, I'm Hunter. It's a pleasure to meet you." I said sitting back in my seat. Ashton stared at me questioningly before turning the car on.
"We're gonna make one more stop at my friend Luke's house real quick." He said to Violet. She nodded. Oh no, he knew he was on to me. I sighed heavily and did breathing exercises. I forgot about Luke's part in my plan. Pretend I wasn't madly in love with him… seems easy enough.
.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Hunter Masters is your regular high school teenager. She tutors for extra credit and sh

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18. 15- Plans and Promises

15- Plans and Promises

I walked into school and froze when I saw Melody standing in the middle looking at a map. She heard me and looked up. I looked behind me quickly. I haven't told Ashton about her and everything yet.

"Melody what are you doing here?" I asked looking behind me.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. I mean you can say no or whatever. I just wanted to get to know you better. And I know your dad isn't really the cooker." She smiles.

"Whose this?" Ashton asks. I didn't even hear him come in. Melody looked at me expectingly.

"Uh, Melody. This is my boyfriend, Ashton." I said pointing to Ashton. Melody smiled and shook his hand.

"I hope to see you tonight too." She says.

"Where?" He asks looking at me.

"Melody invited me to dinner." I said.

"Why?" He asks.

"It's a meet and greet sort of thing." I said. The bell rang and Ashton groaned. He pressed his lips to mine softly.

"English, can't be late. Um I might come." He said walking away. I smiled as Ashton said hi to some people but focused on getting to his destination.

"You guys are cute."

"He's adorable." I laughed.

"You guys seem so grown up." She laughed.

"We aren't anything close." I said.

"I hope you have an excuse for leaving me in Math." I hear Cassie say. I turn around and see her pulling Calum to where Melody and I stand.

"I'll explain later." I said.

"Hi, I'm Cassie." Cassie smiled at Melody.

"Melody. Well I'd better get going." Melody said smiling at me. I sigh as she walks out the school doors.

"Who was that?" She asks.

"Melody." I answered.

"No shit. What is she to you?" She asks. What is she to me?

"Nothing." I said. Cassie didn't question it. Instead she just changed the subject.

"Where were you?" She asked as we walked to my locker. I traded my backpack for my gym bag and walked to the gym with her.

"I was with Ashton." I said dreamily.

"Doing?" She asked. I smiled and giggled to myself.

"Being together." I said simply. I took my phone out and text him.

Me: I hate school

"You guys are too cute." Cassie smiled. I shook my head. She did know she was dating Calum right?

Ash: I miss you

Me: hmm

Ash: what??

Me: we only have 2 classes and lunch together

Ash: r u still being beautiful??

Me: I'm going 2 gym

Ash: I bet you look hot

Me: are you smirking?

Ash: maybe...maybe not

Me: we can discuss this after gym

Ash: have fun sweating

I changed into my gym uniform putting my bag and phone in my gym locker.

"So, what are you doing on Friday night?" Cassie asked as we started stretching.

"I'm me and it's a Friday night." I said. She laughed.

"Ok well come over. We can have sleepover and stuff. Before I go to Peru." She said.

"Peru?" I asked. Was she moving?

"Valentines day? Calum and I save up money and spend three days in Peru." She explained. Three days in Peru. That wasn't too long but to be alone with nobody there. Yeah stuff was totally happening.

"Valentines day." I sighed.

"What?" She asked.

"I don't know. I've never celebrated it." I shrugged.

"Ever?"

"My dad didn't think giving candy to express love was politically correct. Juvenile almost." I shrugged.

"Coming from the man who eats candy on a daily basis? Or rides around on a gurney when he's lazy?" She asked laughing.

"My dad takes love very seriously." I said. Given he was single for a long period of time.

"Is he in love with someone?" She asked.

"He doesn't like to talk about love like that. So openly."

"You guys make it sound like a religion."

"Love is just a state of mind. When you feel a bubbling up feeling of affection for one select individual you best express if as love. I never got why they called it love. Out of all the words in the world why that one?" I asked no one in particular.

"You and Ashton should do something. I don't think he's ever had a real Valentine either." I refrained from yelling her I knew exactly what he was doing on those past February 14th's and that they weren't what I wanted him doing now.

"I'm not making a big deal out of it." I shrugged. I really didn't want anything to be different on that day.

"I'll tell Calum to tell Ashton." She said. I sighed knowing there was no use in arguing. Part of me was scared shitless knowing that I was actually celebrating the day of love with someone other than my dog.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

"How was class?" Ashton asked when we were alone in the auditorium. We were in theater watching people try out for the spring play. We sat in the back away from the class and messed around.

"Eh, talked to Cassie. We are having a sleepover before she leaves." I said.

"That's next week right?" He asks.

"Yeah, Peru." I said. He looked at me questioningly.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you mad?" He asked.

"No, I'm just preoccupied." I told him.

"With what?" He asked.

"I love you." I blurted out. I turned and faced the stage. I hoped, no prayed, he didn't hear me.

"You what?" He asked. My cheeks were burning.

"I have to pee." I said standing up and taking long strides to the bathroom. I heard Ashton following me and I basically threw myself in the bathroom.

"Hunter?" Ashton said knocking on the door. I wanted to die. I wanted hell to freeze over and for everyone to kill me so I wouldn't have to live this. Why did I do that? I was doing so great. I wasn't even thinking about love! I guess I just said the first thing I could think of. I pulled out my phone and dialed my fathers number.

"Dr. Masters, what may I help you with?" He asks.

"Dad please come get me." I whispered.

"Hunter, what's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm dying!" I shouted.

"Hunter, listen to me carefully. Are you teenager dying or emergency dying?" He asks slowly.

"Can there be a teenager emergency?" I asked.

"I'll come get you." He sighed in relief.

"Text me when you're outside." I told him.

"Mr. Irwin I hope you are planning on going to class." I heard someone say.

"Totally, my girlfriend is sick though, I'm waiting for her to give me the ok." He lies.

"That's sweet, ok Mr. Irwin have a nice day." The teacher says. I mentally curse the teacher for not sending him back to class.

"You can't stay in there forever." He whispers. Yeah but I can try. I lay my head on the wall and sigh. Maybe when I die of embarrassment someone will write a book about me. About how bad my life sucked and how I dealt with it. Maybe I could be as strong as my dad someday.

"Hunter." He groaned. "Can we please talk?" He begged. My phone rang and I could see it was my dad. Thank you Caller ID.

"Hello?"

"I'm outside." He says.

"Keep the car running." I said.

"Are you robbing the copy room of ink jet paper?" He asks.

"This is an emergency. I'll be out soon." I said. I held my breath and opened the door. Ashton was leaning against the wall. I huffed and walked away. Ashton pulled me back so that I was looking straight into his eyes. They were so brown and beautiful and even in my head I was screwing things up. He kissed me softly using one hand to keep me steady and the other to make sure I didn't back away. I sighed pressing myself closer to him. Maybe he didn't hear me. Maybe he assumed I was just mad.

"I love you too." He smiles at me. I laugh kissing him one more time. I pull back and laugh to myself.

"I've gotta go. My dad's outside. I- I, uh, see ya." I said walking towards the exit. I plopped down smiling.

"What's the big emergency?" My dad asks. I smile at him goofily. I probably have that high look that I get after being with Ashton. I sure as hell have that high feeling.

"I'm in love." I smiled. I laughed to myself. Who would have thought I'd ever be love. I sure didn't. I didn't think any of this was even possible. It was so easy. Liking then loving. Always wanting and needing.

"In love? Are you sure?" He asked. He seemed scared. Terrified. If he only knew that I was frightened ten times over. I could lose Ashton just as fast as I got him. A tear slipped down my face. I covered my eyes with my hands and cried. My dad most likely thought I was insane.

"Oh god! I hate this." I said shaking my head.

"What's wrong?" My dad asked.

"I can't love Ashton. Why do I love him?"

"Do you love him?"

"So damn much. It eats at me everyday and now I feel relaxed. I finally said it. Now what?" I asked. Tears were streaming down my face

"You've just gotta trust yourself. Love isn't whether you have strong feelings for someone. It's whether you can stay strong for someone when they weren't for you. Whether you can bet on someone when everyone else has given up on him." He says. A tear fell from my eye.

"He said it back." I said sighing.

"He did?" My dad asked.

"Yeah, and I hate him for it."

"Why do you hate him?" My dad asks as we drive away.

"I hate him because I'm not something worth loving. He should just love someone else." I said.

"You're worth so much more than some little high school love." My dad said. I sighed. I wished he would understand. Understand that I was killing him. And that he shouldn't love me. I was the devils worker. I knew what I had to do. I had to make him hate me. How was I going to do that? I didn't know. Maybe I would just beg him to love Violet. Yeah beg your boyfriend to hate you. Seems like it'll work.

"Just take me home." I said as we turned in my neighborhood. I waited until the car stopped and then got out. I walked to my room and sat on my bed. I hoped death would come and kill me before I did.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

"I don't understand." Ashton said sitting on my bed. We were having a very important conversation. Well I think Ashton thought I was joking but it was serious to me.

"I need you to take back your confession." I said.

"What am I supposed to say?" He asked.

"Say you don't love me." I said. He looked at me scrutinizingly.

"Why?" He asked.

"Ashton I can't tell you." I whined.

"Then no, I'm still in love with you." He smiled at me. I bit my lip from smiling back. Why was he making this so hard?

"Ashton if I take it back will you?"

"No, you won't mean it." He smirks at me.

"Why can't you just love somebody else?" I asked getting angry.

"Are you honestly getting pissed because I'm in love with you?" He asked.

"Shhh! Stop saying it!" I said hitting my head on the wall and sighing.

"Is it really bothering you?" He asks. I actually loved hearing him say it. But I didn't want him to go around saying it when people were around. People like Alyson.

"Not really, it's just happening so fast. Could we just not tell anyone for awhile?" I asked. I was staring at the wall. I'm sure my face was saying something different. Saying I wanted to shout it from the roof top. Kiss him until we died and be buried together. Wrapped in each other's arms.

"Uh, yeah, sure if that's what you want." I heard him say unsure. I'm almost positive I hurt his feelings. I sighed.

"Never mind. Tell whoever. I'm just paranoid is all. I'm freaking out. With all this Valentines talk and love and everything I'm just really out of it. I can't fit all my emotions into its usual box." I said sitting by him on the bed. We sat in silence for a while staring at the door or whatever we could.

"Are you scared?" He asked.

"Terrified. You?"

"Is it bad that I'm not? I want this. I want to be in love with you. Even if we end terrible I don't think I'll regret it. You're such a terrific person that hating you would just be unthinkable. You are the reason I actually want the things I do. I like seeing you and I can't be away from you without feeling sad. Even in school or at home. It's like I need you around me." He said. I cried. Why was this so hard? I should be happy. I wanted to be happy. I also didn't want to have to lie to Ashton. He was so truthful with me. He was opening up to me and telling me personal information. I wanted to not hate myself and I wanted to live life without having this burden. And even worse I was a horrible person for the small reason that I was still keeping this huge secret from him. I could've told him so many times but I didn't. Why didn't I? I was digging a bigger hole.

"Ashton, can you promise me something?" I ask. He looks down at me and wipes my tears away.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I just love you so much that I can't fathom having you hate me ,"

"I don't hate you." He said.

"Ha, I know. But if there's a point in time in the near future where you don't want me anymore or you hate me. Could you try to still love me. Could you try not to hate me even if you have to?" I asked. He stared into my eyes. He was so confused.

"Just promise me." I begged. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head.

"I promise." He whispered. I cried in his arms for about an hour. He didn't say anything he just rubbed my back and kissed my head whispering 'it's ok' in my ear. I couldn't explain the pain I felt from hurting him but I can explain that with everything that was happening and everything that was going to happen that I didn't feel more safe anywhere other than in Ashton's arms.

A||N

Short chapter but I might do this in Ashton's POV. I might just do a whole book in Ashton's POV or I might just ignore him all together. I'm happy she finally said it and I'm going to start calling you all my Pumpkin Berries. Thanks to all the people who have messages me with ideas and questions abut the book and the families and where and who and what and pumpkin berries.

Read and comment and vote pleaseeeeeee love you all

Fave quote: "Ashton if I take it back will you?"

"No, you won't mean it." He smirks at me.

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