Fuck You Over

*Said I was a douche bag won't call back, worst hangover you ever had. Felt so good at first but you knew it would never last.*
I stared at the girl in the front seat. Was that really my only competition? I had to be up against something better than that, something more classy and less trashy perhaps?
"This is Violet, she goes to the high school down the road from ours." Ashton said smirking at me. I smiled and shook her hand.
"Hey, I'm Hunter. It's a pleasure to meet you." I said sitting back in my seat. Ashton stared at me questioningly before turning the car on.
"We're gonna make one more stop at my friend Luke's house real quick." He said to Violet. She nodded. Oh no, he knew he was on to me. I sighed heavily and did breathing exercises. I forgot about Luke's part in my plan. Pretend I wasn't madly in love with him… seems easy enough.
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Hunter Masters is your regular high school teenager. She tutors for extra credit and sh

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13. 11- Jealousy and Jocks

11- Jealousy and Jocks

Winter break ended. Thank god.

Ashton and I hung out more which really was just he and I making out for the majority of the day until we stopped. His family was sweet and his aunts and uncles made jokes about Ashton not dating a blonde. I had let it roll off so many times I don't think I legitimately even cared after the 20th time. Ashton was on egg shells the entire time even though I told him I was fine. I could see that wasn't what it was about though. We left early each day just as a black Pickup truck turned down the corner. I asked him about it and he simply shrugged. I didn't push it. With Ashton if he wanted to tell you you most likely already knew. I felt five when his family asked if we were in love and I'd answer the same thing every time, "We are deeply in like." Neither of us had said anything about it otherwise. Ashton never finished sentences that had love in it. "I love this meal," or "I love the present thanks," he always said like or enjoy never love.

I was brushing my hair waiting for either Michael or Ashton to pick me up. I had been picked up by either of the two for the last week. I had welcomed the new year and my awesome new friends and my hot new boyfriend who almost never looked at another girl.

"Hunter! Door!" My dad shouted. I grabbed my backpack and walked down the carpeted stairs. I looked out the hallway window and saw it was Ashton's car.

"Hunter! Door!" My dad yelled again.

"I'm coming!" I shouted walking to the door. Ashton was sitting on my porch steps propped up on his elbows. I sat next to him and smiled at him. His hand found mine on the wooden porch steps.

"You ready to go?" He asked looking up at me. I nodded and yawned. The ride to school was basically for me to sleep until we got there. I hated having to not drive but at the same time I loved sleep. So sleep overrules.

"I heard you were tutoring tonight." Ashton says nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes.

"Yea, Seth Sawyer." I said. Seth Sawyer was and will always be the hottest guy in school. I know I like Ashton and we are together. But I'm allowed to have mild crushes. Seth Sawyer is the team captain of everything. Water polo included.

"You're going to be alone. With Seth Sawyer?" He asked.

"That's how tutoring works." I chuckled.

"Where are you guys studying?"

"Haven't decided yet, don't stress it to much. It's just two friends studying chemistry." I said. I could tell he was not happy. Ashton, surprisingly, got really jealous. But he wouldn't admit it. I thought it was sort of cute when he would pout or kiss me in spite of others watching. And it was a little annoying.

"So we aren't hanging out tonight?" He asked.

"We are. Just after I tutor Seth." I explained slowly. He frowned at me. He hated being teased about what he thought was important.

"School." He said. I slid out of the car and grabbed my bag from the backseat. Ashton took my hand as we walked into the school. We were pretty much the only couple anybody cared about. It was weird.

"Hey, Hunter." Some guy smiled. I couldn't help but blush. Which resulted in Ashton frowning.

"What!?" I asked already knowing what.

"Why did you blush when that sleaze said hey to you?"

"It's a habit. I blush when guys notice me. I do it with you all the time." I shrugged.

"I'm the only one who should make you blush." He said frowning.

"You are the only one I care about." I said pulling his arm around my waist.

"I'm still mad at you." He said looking away.

"Ashton, please." I said. He walked without looking at me. I sighed and pulled him the opposite ways from where we were going. I pulled him into the library and walks all the way to the back where no one could see us. Book shelves and walls covered us until we were completely alone. He stared around us not making eye contact. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled our faces closer until our noses were touching. His breathing was raspy and uneven. His eyes never leaving my lips.

"Only you." I whispered pulling away. I looked down at my feet and then I felt Ashton's arms around my waist. His lips trailed from ear to my neck and back. I couldn't form thoughts at the moment. Just fantasies. That would probably never happen. I wiggled around in his arms until I was facing him. He kissed me passionately as his hands trailed to my hips and then to the hem of my shirt. Ashton's lip left mine to go to my neck and then he backed away. His fingers moved down from my neck to my collar bone.

"I should get mad more often." He smiles.

"I need to get to class." I said rolling my eyes.

My classes went on per usual. Me daydreaming about Ashton and rubbing my lips. Cassie and I had PE later that day. I walked into the gym dressed in the red shorts and blue shirt. Cassie smiled walking over to me.

"Long time no see." She smiles playfully. Cassie and I have only been able to hang during school. I tutored and babysat Ashton every afternoon.

"We totally need a girls day on Saturday." I said shaking my head.

"Yeah, just come over and then we can get everything situated." She planned.

"So how's everything in paradise?" I asked.

"Well, college letters are coming soon."

"Oh, I forgot all about those." I admitted walking with her.

"What schools did you apply to?"

"UCLA, Stanford, University of Florida and USC." I said

"So I'm guessing you plan to move to California."

"Different scenery." I shrugged.

"What about Ashton?" She asked. I frowned. That was the thing. By then there wouldn't be a me and Ashton. We would be strangers who would have loved each other way to much.

"We haven't talked about it." I said rubbing my arms.

"Oh, is he going to college?" She asked.

"I don't know we don't really talk about that." I admitted. We talked about running away. Escape plans from this life of hell. Currently we were changing our names to Juan and Juanita and moving to El Paseo to open up a taco shop. We would also have a meth lab.

"I've noticed talking isn't really of your strong suits when your alone." She snickered. I sent her a confused look.

"Double check in the library." She said smirking.

"Goddamit!" I cursed blushing furiously.

"It was only me. I left almost immediately after you two started." She says.

"He gets so jealous." I said shaking my head.

"Because he loves you." I sent Cassie a look. I had told her many times that love wasn't a word that either of us used. She simply laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Love isn't our thing." I said shrugging as we walked around the basketball court with the other classmates.

"Ok but if it were, hypothetically, you'd be in it?" She asked.

"Hypothetically if I were in love with anybody, which I'm not, then I would ,hypothetically, tell you." I said.

"So you are in love with Ashton and you want me to know." She smiled.

"Ashton and I have sworn against love. Like a pact kinda." I said.

"You made him promise not to fall in love with you? Why don't you just make breathing illegal while you're at it?" She teased.

Was it that hard for Ashton not to love me?

"Look, Ashton is amazing and I really want to be with him and I almost jumped his bones earlier last week but that was period hormones so it doesn't count." I said. She glanced at me amused.

"You've got it so had you're blaming it on vagina blood." She laughed.

"I just want to know that he wants to you know..." I said looking at the gravel.

"That he wants to sleep with you? Of course he does!" She shrieks.

"He stopped me the last few times." I had tried to get Ashton to want me the way I did. I had dropped hints and even tried taking it in my own hands. Each time I've been shut down. I don't think he understands how badly I want to be close to him. I kinda love him.

"Maybe he wants you to be ready." She said.

"I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life."

"And that's why he's shutting you down. You're so sure you want this."

"I don't want this I want him. He's the only one I want in this entire world. It's crazy how much I want him."

"But do you want him in that way?" She asked. I looked up into the sun. Squinting my eyes I looked over beyond to the football field where all the boys were running. I found myself searching for Ashton. The girls and boys fitness was split up. Not that Ashton had this period for fitness anyways.

"I want him more than just that way." I said looking at the red haired girl. She sighed and continued to walk on.

"I don't know what to tell you. But what I know is he'll be quite angry if ya back out."

"Angry?" I asked. I couldn't imagine Ashton angry with me. I couldn't imagine him a lot of things but that's something different.

"Sad, hurt, heartbroken." She described. I sighed and looked down. There was so much that couldn't be explained in the little time we had.

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"Ok, see it isn't very hard." I said pointing to the problem Seth had just finished. Seth had come over to my house to work on math. Whether he was trying to make a move or not I wasn't sure. The only guy I faithfully let in my room was Ashton and that usually ended in heated make out sessions and lots of touching. Seth was well built with shiny black hair and bright blue eyes. He seemed cliché or overrated. Nothing about him seemed special or outstanding. He was just a jock. A jock with a wandering hand.

When I looked down to my lap I noticed Seth's hand was there. I didn't want to be rude but it was pretty rude to just place your hand on someone's lap. I moved away until his hand fell to the chair. He looked up and smirked.

"Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He said. I nodded and moved my leg back.

"It's great, I just try to keep my space."

"Talked to your boyfriend today." He said leaning back on the bed.

"Um, I'm sorry for anything he said." I was slowly regretting the idea that being comfortable on my bed beat studying at the table.

"Nah he was cool, I just didn't think someone as smart and sexy as you would date a player like him." He said. I bit back the urge to say something. Ashton was a player. Not now but he used to be.

"He's different." I said.

"Yeah, I see that. But if you were my girl I would take you on dates and to fairs and we'd be public. It seems like he's a bit embarrassed to be around you in public." I didn't really understand where he saw that. Ashton and I had been outside together. Never with true PDA but subtle glances and we stood next to each other. Ashton never took me on dates. Ever. I don't think he actually knows what dates consist of.

"I kinda really don't care." I said. I only then heard how mean I sounded. Seth was taken aback and he frowned.

"I didn't mean to make you angry." He said.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to snap at you." He smiled and snaked his arm around my waist. I jumped up but he tackled me back to the bed. I tried to move and sit up but his body weight was pushing me down. I felt his tongue lick my neck and I fought harder.

"Stop!" I yelled. He just smirked at me kissing the corner of my lips. I twisted but still couldn't get loose. I shouted helps and stops. Pushing and shoving.

"Seth! Get Off!" I yelled repeatedly. I started crying. I wasn't scared. I just didn't want it to happen. I felt helpless. How could someone feel so helpless? Someone like me. His hand started moving down my pants and the other up my shirt. I cried out one last time in hope that someone would walk in.

"Hey! Get off of her!" I felt Seth's weight being lifted off. When I looked up I saw my dad grabbing Seth and throwing him into the wall. I felt an aching amount of relief.

"And don't come back!" He shouted. I pulled my feet in and scoot to the back of the bed. It wasn't as bad as some people had been through. My dad sat on the bed.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Don't tell Ashton." That was all I was worried about. Whether Ashton found out and beat the hell out of Seth. Part of me enjoyed the thought of Ashton kicking his ass until he cried out for help. But the other half knew that Ashton would be way to eager to kick anyone's ass over anything.

"Are you ok?" My dad repeated.

"I'm fine just keep whoever wasn't here out of it." I said moving to stand up.

"You aren't fine, what happened?" He asked.

"Nothing, I fell he attacked me with his body and I started screaming. I wasn't raped, fortunately." I said walking to my bathroom.

"Fine. When you're ready to talk we'll talk but until then I'll let you be by yourself." He says. I knew he was going to question me about it tomorrow and the next day and on and on until I spilled. But I didn't care. I just wanted to be alone. I wasn't alone enough anymore. Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe I wasn't ready for what was to come. Maybe I would chicken out. I know I would now. Now that I see what it leads to. What if Ashton doesn't stop when I ask him to. What if Ashton doesn't care.

I sat on my bed listening to the mumbling voices of the television downstairs. I couldn't turn mine on. I couldn't even look at anything. I sat in the dark staring at the glowing lights in my room. My phone was probably blown up with texts. But I didn't know because I turned it off. I really just wanted to die. Die because I felt like I betrayed Ashton with letting that jerk feel me up and also because I told him about it and he knew it was a bad idea. Ashton was right. Per usual.

"- so she's hurt? What happened?" I heard someone say.

"If I could tell you I would have. She doesn't want to talk about it." My father said.

"Oh, but she's like not sick right?" I walked to my bedroom door and sat next to it. Listening to the rest of the conversation.

"Ashton, sometimes girls have life changing things that make them look at the world in a different manner. For Hunter it's being alone. I take a lot of the blame. Leaving my five year old daughter home alone while I went to work. Probably not the smartest idea I'd ever had. But that's why when she's angry or sad or hurt, she chooses to be alone. She likes the thought of being alone. The thought that being alone leaves her with the power over who hurts her." It was quiet. I was so tempted to see what was happening. I wish I had a one way window in my room. It would make this easier.

"Did I hurt her?" He asked.

"No, not that I know of. There's only a number of people in this world who could actually hurt Hunter." My dad said.

"And?" Ashton presses.

"They've obviously already done the damage. Anymore would just roll right off of her."

"What if it doesn't? What if all this isn't what I want it to be?" I listen even closer making sure every word is heard.

"What do you want it to be?" There's a pause. I am basically morphing into the door how close I am.

"That's the problem, I don't know. But I want whatever it is to be us." The door is cracked open a little enough for me to squeeze out effortlessly and sit on the stairs.

"Give her a day or two. Let her go through her pent up emotions and then wait. She'll most likely pretend for a while and then she'll break down. That's how Hunter works." I chuckled to myself. My dad was my dad. Only he would know my schedule so precisely. It was scary actually to think of how well he recited it. But this was different. I still wanted to be with Ashton. No matter how scared I was I still wanted to be close to him. Close and in love. Not that we were in love.

"I'll come back tomorrow." He said leaving the house. I could've sworn he saw me on the stairs. Which is impossible since the stairs are on the opposite side of the house. I crawled back into my room and locked my door. The lights went off again and I was left alone. With no worries. Maybe I liked being alone. It meant I rarely got hurt.

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Fave quote: There's only a number of people in this world who could actually hurt Hunter."

Fave quote #2: "You've got it so bad you're blaming it on vagina school."

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