“Thranduil was nice to me, to begin with. He told me stories, stories he told his own son. He calmed me down, when I had nightmares about my mother’s death. He gave me toys, treated me like a daughter. Then you came back, and told him of my mother and the human. A detail Thorin had not shared with Thranduil. You asked him to take care of me, a task he would have accepted without thinking twice, until you told I was not pure.”
Feeling angry, hurting because of what Gandalf’s conversation had meant to me, I continued.
“Thranduil believed I was an elf, learning I was half human, made him pushed me away. I became worthless in his eyes. He told me no more stories, he stopped bringing me toys. He stopped coming to me, unless he had to.”
The look on Gandalfs face looked like anger. Still I continued.
“Of the hundreds of letters Bilbo send me, I only received four. Smuggled into my room, by servants feeling bad for me. I wanted to write you, all for you. Thranduil did not allow it. He did not allow me to have contact, even to hear what happened to you. I have not left his kingdom, been outside, since I was brought there.”
I told him.
“He never hurt me, hit me or was mean to me. He just ignored me. I have lived my entire life as a shadow. Being nothing, meaning nothing. I missed you, all of you. Because you were the only friends I have ever had. The only ones who ever cared.”
I felt like crying again, but I would not cry anymore. I had cried enough, and nothing could be done to change what had happened.
“And now he has sent me away, never to return. And I do not know what to do next.”
I admitted. Coming were was just an idea, but now that I was here, I did not know what to do.
“If he didn’t tell you… you don’t know what happened to Thorin, Fili and Kili?”
Bilbo asked. I shook my head, hoping to hear good news. He shook his head, destroying my hope of hearing them doing well.
“They died. Fili and Kili died defending Thorin, he was hurt, during…”
Bilbo began to tell me, but was interrupted by Gandalf.
“Not now, old friend.”
He asked, as I was crying once more. I never knew. All these years, they were dead. I held my head in my hands, crying uncontrollably.
Fili and Kili, such good brothers. Playing hide and seek with me. I cheated, but they let me. When I cut my fingers on their knives, they were so sorry. They kept apologizing, bringing me sweet fruits and berries.
And Thorin. He did not like me to begin with. But I melted his heart. I still remember the exact moment. I was having nightmares about my mother, and woke up screaming. It was cold, and he was staring at me. He gave me his extra cape as protection against the cold. And when I could not fall asleep again, he sang me the song of the lonely mountain, until I slept in his arms. I wore that cape with proud, and it amused him. It was the one I was wearing, when he tried to hide me from Thranduil’s soldiers.