Growing up, Alex was almost the perfect kid. He rarely cried as a baby, he knew when to stop talking and he never fought about anything with anyone. To most people, he was perfect. He stayed like that all through elementary school and middle school. Alex was always a quiet kid, he didn't talk much to other people, he would rather have his headphones in and his head down at lunch, than have to put up with the annoying lives of other whiny teenagers.
At almost seventeen, Alex a lot of the time was a little behind on his life. He had never gotten drunk at a party, or actually ever. He never slept around with people either. Alex was almost seventeen and still never had his first kiss, but he didn't mind too much. Unlike most sixteen year old boys with hormones flying all over the place, Alex wasn’t interested. Some people called him a prude, others just called him gay. Alex never considered himself straight, he wasn't all that attracted to females. He thought that they were pretty, yes, but would he ever date one? More than likely not. At the same time, he never even thought of a boy like that either. Sure just like females they could be nice looking, but hes never been attracted to one like that, or anyone like that. He just simply couldn't be bothered with sexuality.
In school, Alex really only had one friend, his best friend, Jack. Jack was almost the complete opposite of Alex. The tall kid was loud and outgoing, pretty known for having a million girlfriends at different times. Alex had know no clue how or why he ever became friends with the Lanky kid, but he also didn't seem to care very much about that either because in general, Jack was a great friend to him.
One day, Alex was just sitting in his room with his guitar, writing and playing music. it what he occupied his time with, rather than getting wasted and having sex like his overly outgoing friend. Jack came into his room smiling and sat next to Alex. “Hey,” Jack said.
“Hey, Jack.” he said quietly as he kept strumming the chords on his guitar. “What are you so smiley about?” he asked and stop playing, looking up at the younger boy.
“I just nailed the hottest girl in our grade,” Jack grinned.
“You had sex with Lydia?” Alex questioned in a semi surprised look. Jack nodding happily, like he won some kind of contest that only he actually knew about. “I thought she was a virgin?”
“Well with the way she could move her hips, she definitely wasn't, and if by chance she was, she's not anymore.” Jack said laughing. To most people, Jack was your average high school tool, but never slept around as much as he said he did, he was just a cocky asshole about it when it did happen. Alex was the only person that knew that though.
“Anyway, what have you been up too?” Jack changed the subject.
“Just writing, playing, as per usual.” Alex mumbled and scribbled word on to his notebook paper.
“Why don't you ever go out, have fun, get drunk, you know, what normal teenagers do?” Alex just shrugged and never once looked up at Jack. “Why a shrug?” Jack questioned.
“I don't know.” Alex said. “I just don't want too.” Jack sigh accepting the fact that he knew he wasn't going to get any other answers out of the brunette.
Jack stayed over at Alex’s that night. they just stayed up in his room and watched TV and movies. During whatever movie they currently had playing, a short sex scene showed up making Jack just a little bit hot under the color. Jack got off of his stomach and placed a pillow over his slowly growing bulge. Alex laughed a little bit at the blushing boy.
“What?” Jack whisper yell. “Like this has never happened to you?” Alex just shrugged again and sat up next to his friend. Jack caught a quick glance at the other crotch, seeing no sign of any erection. “how?” Jack asked in disbelief.
“I don't know. Doesn't turn me on I guess.” That made Jack confused.
“You’re telling me that you, a sixteen almost seventeen year old boy with hormones, isn't turned on by boobs or sex?” Alex just shrugged. “Are you like.. I don't know… gay, or something?” Jack asked slowly. He was never against it, he kind of liked boys, but he didn't really know how to ask the question.
“No,” Alex said, shaking his head and looked at Jack. It only left Jack more confused. He had never heard of anyone not being turned on before. To Alex, it was just normal. He never thought anything of it.
“Do you masturbate?” Jack asked after a few minutes of silence.
“Jack!” Alex whisper yelled at his lanky friend. “That's a little personal don't you think?”
“You’re my best friend, its fine. I'm just curious.” Jack told him. Well, Jack was his best friend, what's he going to do , run around the whole school telling people about it? More than likely not.
“Fine, no.” Jack had a confused expression again. “I don't masturbate.”
“Have you ever masturbated?”
“Once, when I was like fourteen. I don't know, it just doesn't interest me.” Alex tried to explain to his raven haired friend, who was still sporting a slight bulge in his pants.
“Really?” Alex nodded. “What did you you think about?” Alex gave him a less than impressed look. This was his sex life, not Jack's, but Jack didn't look like he was using it for his own sexual thing, Jack asked it like he was just genuinely curios.
“Nothing. I don't know. I only did it because it was really hard and didn't look like it was going to be going away anytime soon. That's the only reason I touch myself.”
“Did you like it?” Alex sighed.
“I guess. Like, it felt good and it made me feel good, but I don't know. I could live without it. I just don't see a reason too if I'm not turned on.”
“What about kissing? Have you at least kissed someone?” Alex shook his head. “really?” Alex nodded again. It was kind of unbelievable for someone like Jack. Jack love sex and kiss, hell, his favorite pass time was probably masturbating. So it seemed so unreal that Alex wasn't into anything. “What are you attracted too?” Jack finally asked. He probably could have skipped this whole conversation, but jack wasn't always a rational thinker.
“Umm, I don't know.” Alex answered. That seemed to be the best answer for everything about him. He just didn't know. “Girls are pretty, guys are okay, I guess, but I don't know. I just don't find myself interested in that kind of thing.”
“Do you ever want to have sex and get married and stuff?” Alex nodded.
“Yeah, I mean. I would like to try it, but I just don't feel the desire to actually have sex. I would like to get married one day, to the right person and not disappoint them. I just don't really have a sex drive, I guess.”
A couple months later when Alex was at home as usual, Jack cover over, pretty much blackout drunk. This wasn't the first time that Alex has seen him like this, but it was definitely a time he would never forget.
Jack showed up really late one night, beating on Alex door. The older male brought him back up to his room and sat on the best with him. “Yoou know, your’re really cuuute,” jack said slurring his words. Alex just laughed at him.
“And you really drunk.” Alex said. Jack stopped swaying from side to side for a second, squinting at the brunette. Alex was confused at what he was trying to focus on. He looked down thinking there was something on his shirt, the second he looked up, Jack's lips were pressed to him. Alex felt a pull in his chest, something he never felt before, but still wasn't quite sure what it was.
“Sorry,” Jack pouted and looked down. This was different for Alex. He had never had the need to kiss someone before, but right now, That's all he wanted to do with Jack, but not while he was drunk. He wasn't going to take advantage of the younger boy like that, not for his own little experiment. That wouldn't be right. Alex set out a little bed on the floor for himself and let Jack stay in the bed.
The next morning, Alex woke up to Jack already awake and watching TV. “Good think you weren't awake earlier, I was throwing up everything from last night.” Jack laughed and sat up. “Don't worry, I brushed my teeth with one of the unopened extra ones.” Alex chuckled a little at how open his friend could be in someone else s house.
“Do you remember anything?” Jack thought for a second.
“No, nothing.” Jack said. “Why?”
“Oh, um, I was just wondering.” Alex mumbled awkwardly.
“Oh God, what did I do this time? Whatever I broke I swear it was on accident.” Jack said in a little bit of a panic. Alex laughed at him.
“No, no. You didn't break anything you just um… you kissed me last night.” Alex murmured.
“Sh!i, I'm sorry.” The raven hair boy, said to him.
“It’s okay, really. I kind of liked it.” Alex surprised himself when he said it. But it was true, because yeah, Alex didn't like the kiss from Jack. Did that turn him on? No. Did he think it was weird coming from his best friend? Yeah, but he didn't care. It was the first time Alex had ever found himself liking something in that form of contact.
Jack smiled at his friend. “Can I kiss you again?” Jack asked him. Alex nodded. Jack moved some of his hair behind Alex’s ear and cupped his cheek, kissing him. Alex never felt such attraction to someone like that before, but for Jack, he could make an exception.
Over the course of about five of years, Jack asked Alex out and agreed to be his boyfriend. He still didn't like the idea of sex or even kissing most of the time, but he did like the happiness it brought Jack. It brought him more satisfaction know he made his beau happy, than the kissing was okay with him. There were time when Jack wanted to take things to the next level with him, sex. Alex agreed, only because he knew what Jack was like without some kind of sex every once in a while.
When It got down to it, Alex couldn't turn himself on. It wasn't any kind of dysfunction, they had that checked out. It turned out Alex was just asexual or demiromantic. Jack being Jack, could really wrap his head around the idea, but once Alex could put a name to it, it all made sense. Alex loved his relationship with Jack. It made him happy, he just didn't like the physical thing. That's what asexual in humans was. Liking a relationship, but not liking the physical side, to dumb it down. As Alex learned a little more about what was really going on, he learned that asexuality was different for all people.
It wasn't that Alex had never gotten turned on, it just that fact he didn't care about when he did. So when one day Alex and Jack were making out on their fourth anniversary, Jack jumped at the chance to sleep with his boyfriend. Alex still was interested in it, but he agree to it because Jack really wanted it.
It was Alex first time, so Jack knew to take it slow. Alex had heard Jack moan before. There were time he would wake up to Jack in the shower masturbating, but this was the first time Jack had ever heard Alex moan and he diced right then, that it was the sexiest thing Jack had ever heard. Better than the girls he slept with in high school and much better than porn. With every thrust, the older would dig his fingers in Jack's milky flesh and mumbled profanities into his sweat covered neck. When they finished, the older male rolled off the brunette panting.
“Fuck,” he breathed out and chuckled a little. Alex chuckled a little. “Did you like it at all?” Jack asked hopefully.
“Yeah. It was fun and felt really good.” he answered and rolled on his side. Jack rolled on his side too, smiling and kissing Alex.
“Do you think we can do it more now? I mean not right now, but you know?”
“I can try, but only because I love you and I know you really like the physical stuff.” Over the years Jack learned more about how Alex body worked. It was a common misconception that someone who is asexual can’t love. That was totally false. Just like many other asexual people, Alex was capable of love. He loved Jack to no end. His heart burst every time he even thought of the other man. Over time he learned to like kissing, or at least only kissing Jack. He could never picture himself kissing someone else.
In the next couple years of their relationship, they did have sex, a couple times a month at least. Jack respected the fact Alex wasn't really into sex, but Alex also respected the fact that Jack really loved sex. To most people, their relationship would never work, but they did it. They found a way for them to both be happy.
Two years later. The boys were nearing on 25 and 26. They knew each other pretty well. Alex still wasn't into sex and really only did it for Jack, and Jack did everything he could to make Alex feel good while they were doing so they both can enjoy it. Thing were starting to change though.
Alex began getting less and less aroused with Jack. It wasn't that Jack was doing anything wrong, he just, couldn't get turned on by the thought of Jack anymore. He still loved him with all his heart, but he was back to being his sixteen year old self. Jack was always happy with their sex life, it didn't happen as much as he would have liked, but he was content, up until recently. Jack got more needy. As Alex back off sex, Jack wanted it more.
“Alex, please?” Jack whined next to Alex in bed.
“Jack, I don't want too, okay? I thought you respected that.” Alex said with a little bit of a snap in his voice, he really didn't mean it though.
“I do, I just… We haven't had sex in almost six months. Can't we do it just once?” Alex sighed and sat up.
“Baby,” Alex said. He lent down and kissed his boyfriend before pulling back up.
“Alex, I know you don't like sex, you never have, but uggg, I can't take it anymore. Is it so bad that I just want a sexual relationship with you?” It kind of hurt Alex.
Alex tried to talk, but he couldn't. In a way he felt like he let Jack down. It wasn't his fault, he just wasn't turned on by sex. Like he did when he was younger, he didn't think they needed it. But Jack saw it all differently. “I'm going out for a while.” Jack said getting up
“What?” Alex asked, even though he heard him.
“I'm gonna go out with Zack. he asked me to hang out earlier, but I said no because I wanted ‘us time’ but… I’ll be back later.” Jack said before he grabbed some clean clothes and left. Alex felt scared that he was going to cheat or something, but Jack love him. He would cheat on someone he loves just for sex right?
Jack got home really early morning. Alex woke up to the smell of alcohol and cologne. It didn't smell like Jack's cologne either. He knew he was out with Zack, but it stuck in the back of his mind that maybe he did more.
Around noon, Alex could take it anymore. He didn't want to ever lose Jack. He took a short trip to the drug store picking up some Viagra to help him. He got home checking if Jack was awake yet. When he wasn't he went in the bathroom and took the pill and stretching himself. Once he was hard, he went into their room and stripped from his clothes. Alex got on top of Jack and started kissing his neck and chest he he would wake up. He pulled Jack out of his boxers through the hole and held the hardened member at his entrance. Jack was waking up at this point and a little shocked.
Alex sank down on Jack and let him self adjust, slowly riding him. Jack moaned looking up at the shorter brunette. Jack held on too his boyfriends hips to move him faster. After about fifteen minutes of soft moans and pants coming from their mouths, they finally let go. Alex rolled off and handed Jack some tissue. “Babe,” Jack said and tucked himself back in his boxers. “You didn't have to have sex with me.” he said quietly and rolled so he was looking at Alex.
“You might leave if I don't.” Alex said in a sorrowful voice. Jack sighed and cupped Alex's face. he lightly kissed him and smile.
“Never, Alex.” he said kissing him again. It reassured Alex that things were okay with them. Jack just wanted to get off, Alex understood that. He had sex with Jack more often, despite how much he didn't really want to. But nothing was ever forced from Alex.
Over the next few months, Alex was once again not wanting to have sex and Jack seemed okay with that. They went back to their cute loving selves. Jack would occasionally ask for sex and Alex was happy to do it for him, but things seemed weird. Jack went longer period without asking for some form of getting off. Even his masturbating slowed down. At first Alex thought that the younger male was just getting used to not having a lot of sex, but things weren't that good for Alex. Jack needed sex. That was just how he was.
Alex got home from work one day a little earlier than usual. He came in and heard groaning from their bedroom. He initially thought nothing of it. Alex used to walking in on Jack touching himself or using the occasional toy. Alex heard another voice though. His heart dropped out of his chest. He quietly walked to the bedroom and wanted to scream and punch the wall. Jack was in bed with Zack.
“Jack,” he cried and they stopped.
“Alex? Shit,” jack went into panic mode, getting off of Zack and putting his boxers on. “Baby, I swear-”
“Swear what Jack!?” Alex scream. “Swear that you weren't just fucking another guy in our bed? You said you were okay with this, we fucking talked about this.” he yelled. he tone got softer before he started to speak again. “ Its my fault isn’t?” he asked, tears pouring down his face. Cheeks and eyes are red and puffy. Without a word, Zack got up and out of the house before anyone said anything to him.
“No baby, it’s not your fault.” Jack said. he went to touch Alex’s face, but he turn his head and backed up.
“Then why?” Jack sighed and shook his head.
“I'm weak. I tried. I love you so much, but I really wanted sex and after you were stopping it again, I looked somewhere else. I didn't want to force to do something you didn't like.” Jack's heart seemed to be in the right place, but his head was in the wrong state.
“I made me feel things. Happiness, love, even pleasure, something that I don't even look for. I could have gone my whole like a virgin and feel perfectly fine, but I loved you so I had sex with you, even when I didn't did get pleasure from it.” Jack wanted to speak, but couldn't. He fucked up and he knew it.
“I'm sorry, Lex.” Alex turned from him and picked the blanket up from the ground, putting it back on the bed.
“I want you out.” Alex couldn't even look at Jack. The one person in his life that he thought understood him. All through high school, he let Jack into his personal life. He let him know little things he wasn't comfortable sharing with anyone else.
“Go.” Alex choked. Jack knew that he couldn't fight him. So, he got his stuff and left. He tried calling and texting everyday, making sure Alex knew that he fucked up and he was sorry, but Alex was so hurt he didn't want to hear from him again.
Alex was now 27, about to be 28. He hasn't heard from Jack in over a year. He just figured the Jack found someone better, a partner that enjoyed having sex with him. Alex on the other hand, content. He thought about Jack every single day. Even the one time he jerked off just to relieve stress. His friends took him to random strip clubs to make him feel better, they didn't know that Alex wasn't turned on by that stuff until they left. They all had raging boners, but Alex didn't. They did the same thing Jack did when they were in high school. Questioning him about what turned him on. But he couldn't answer the question.
The day of Alex’s 28th birthday, he got a text to his phone. He didn't recognize the number so he didn't think anything of it. He opened the text and read it to himself, feeling his heart in his throat.
‘Happy Birthday. I still love you. - Jack’
Alex wanted to cry at the message because yeah, he still loved Jack too. He was about to reply to the message before another one was sent through. He clicked on it to open it.
‘Can we meet? Please? I really want to see you.’
Alex typed back a yes and a place for them to meet. He figured that the coffee shop the both used to go to would be perfect. Alex got dressed looking extra nice for Jack. Black skinny jeans, as usual, a black and red plaid shirt and converse. It wasn't really special, but Jack loved it when he wore plaid. He left and headed to the coffee shop. He felt his nerves rise and his stomach was doing back flips. He pulled up to the meeting place and walked inside. He looked around noticing the familiar, tall, black hair boy sitting at a table in the corner. He took a breath and walked over.
“Hey,” Alex said, just barely above a whisper. Jack looked up and smiled.
“Hey,” he said back. The lanky man stood up and wrapped his arms around Alex. He pulled back just enough to kiss Alex. “I'm sorry.” Jack said. “I love you, Lex. And if not having sex with you for six months at a time is what its going to take, then I'm okay with it.”
“And If having sex four times a week is what it take for me, then I'm okay with that. Its not so bad.” Alex said. “I love you, Jacky.”
I've never read a story like this so I gave it a shot. Hopefully its okay. Asexuality in humans is kind of lesser known. Its really different for everyone, so don't just assume something about someone if they identify as asexual or demiromantic or any thing like that.F