It was starting to get dark, when me and Ava sat outside in the park near London eye.
All the other guys had went to go see some stripper thing, i didnt want to go and either did Ava.
So we stayed here.
I looked at Ava, starring at me with a smile on her face.
I smiled back at her and sighed.
"Yup, thats me. Whats up?"
She looked down at the ground, and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.
"Im sorry, if i did anything i cant remember that made you sad or missrable, you know i love you"
I got up and took her hand.
She got up and looked at me.
"No Ava, i love you"
She smiled and followed me as i started walking around.
"yeah and i love you too"
I felt anger running through my body, cus she didnt know that i actaully ment it like i really was inlove with her.
"No Ava, you dont"
"Ofcourse i do"
I shoke my head and looked at her.
She starrted at me like i was being crazy.
"How can you say that? You've been my best friend since we were little stupid kids. ofcourse i love you"
I couldnt take it.
She didnt get it.
She didnt get how crazy fucked up inlove i was with her.
How much i'd do just for her to be happy and how much i was willing to do just for her.
I held tight around her hand as she shoke her head.
"You're acting weird, you're pulling away from me. What happened that i cant remember between us?"
I sighed and ran my left hand throgh my hair as i looked down.
She took hold of my chin and pushed it up so i was looking into her eyes.
Those beautiful eyes.
"Cameron, you know you can tell me anything. Im sure it cant be that bad. I dont want you to start pushing me away"
I licked my lower lip.
"Ava, i cant tell you. Everything will be ruined. I dont want it to end up like the last time.
She looked weird at me.
"What are you talking about?"
I sighed again.
"I dont want to lose you again"
She let go of my hand and wrapped both of her arms around my neck as she hugged me tight.
I could feel her heart beat.
"You will never lose me. I swear. Even if im being the worst bitch ever to you or you're being the biggest douche to me. Never Cameron. You'll never lose me" I promise.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, and held on tight.
I wasnt gonna let her go ever again.
That was how i felt.
"We'll get through this Cam. I promise"
I held even tighter and then i let go.
"I know" She looked at me, and smiled.
I just couldnt help it.
I kept looking at her lips.
I missed kissing her so bad.
She was my girlfriend.
or i dont know.
But in my head she was.
and she was the most importen thing to me.
I looked down at her lips, and moved my head closer.
I pressed my lips against hers, and pushed my tongue inside her mouth.
I kissed her with as much passion as i could.
I'd missed kissing her so bad.
I got caught in the moment and kissed my best friend.
It wasnt suppose to happen but it did.
and as soon as it was over, i felt horrible.
I opened my eyes, and pulled away from Cameron, as he looked at me with a straight face.
"Im sorry Cameron, i cant"
He looked at me, and tried to walk towards me. But i kept talking steps back, as he tried to move forward.
"What? Ava but i.."
I shoke my head.
"Please Cameron, just understand.i didnt know why i did it. But it was wrong im sorry"
I shoke my head and ran back to the hotel, all by myself.
I just left Cameron in the park.
I ran and ran and ran and then i finally got to the hotel and ran to our room.
I quickly got packed all up and just had to get out of there quick.
As quick as i could.
I texted Erika back in the US.
I said i was coming home.
I took a taxi to the airport and took the first flight back to LA.
I felt horrible for just running away from everything, but i couldnt look Cameron in the eyes anymore.
I'd ruined our friendship by kissing him.
I felt so bad so i texted Nash to let everyone know i was gone.
I got in the plane and waited for it to start flying.
Finally we took off, and i was so releaved.
I took a nap.
I had the weirdest dream ever on that flight.
I dreamed about me and Cameron having sex, being together, kissing and all that like a couple. But it didnt feel like i was just making all this up in my head. If felt like it was memories.
Like it actually happend.
but that couldnt be true, cus i'd never dated Cameron before...?