The next day was as strange as hell. Things were more than a blur. My head was spinning, I felt sore. I struggled to get out of bed. I stank, I needed a shower, or a bath, just something warm to soothe me. I felt like I had been violated in my sleep. I couldn't think though. No, no more thinking. My mind was more than tired, mind brain had had enough. I didn't want to think anymore, I just didn't want to breathe anymore. I was was feeling more than confused, I couldn't piece anything together, I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to eat... What's wrong with me, what was wrong with me!?
I had to go out. I needed air. I needed to feel real air in my lungs from a real atmosphere. The past few weeks have felt like a bad animated movie or something, with a bad storyline and bad special effects. Nothing felt real. I need a change of enviroment. I went town, thought I would treat myself to something 'real', I needed real with me right now. I felt like a zombie which is infact 'un-real'. Bad Humor.
I approached a corner, only to hear the voices of what sounded like a group of older teenage lads. Great. Just my fucking luck. I got out my phone, hit the button and help it up against my ear, I needed to give the impression I was busy, In my world that meant, If you see me doing this, fuck off and do not attempt to talk or harass me. Too late. My arm was so weak I could barley lift it in time, within seconds I was face to face with..oh christ no. Him. There he was, standing there, looking me right deep in the eyes. The rests of his pack walked on, assuming we were going to be talking for a while. WRONG! I just wanted to go home! Why, why did this have to happen! He did smile at me though, which gave me a little comfort but then quickly turned into fear. I attempted a little quiet smile in return and walked on, only to be grabbed my the wrist and come face to face again with him. I felt battered. I had to go. I gave him a quick hug to flash as a sign that i'm ok. "I'm ok, I'm fine, I have to go now". Ridiculous and short, but at least it was something. I continued to walk, I needed to get home.
"Did you enjoy last night...?
Every, inch of me, froze.
Beacuse I did."