Movella Reviews

Hiya! I'll be doing some movella reviews because I know lots of people want reviews but everyone has so many reviews to do still! I need new movellas to read anyway :D Anyway, Details in the first chapter. mwah


3. This Is Us- TheRealAlli

Cover- I really like the cover, although it doesn't show much to do with the plot.


Blurb- You could revise the blurb a little, because it could be better. Just ask if you'd like some examples if you aren't sure. :) But, I'm not here to tell you what to do, I'm just here to suggest things. I really love how you put a link to help with the topic of teen pregnancy. It's important that people know.



Intro- The intro doesn't stand out too well, but the first chapter basically tells you what you absolutely need to know, so no complaints here. But on the 'prologue' chapter thing, there were a few mistakes, which I'll talk about in Spelling/Grammar.

Plot- This is actually a really good idea. While still entertaining us readers with the story, it is showing the struggles of teen pregnancy, and to make sure guys 'keep a cage on their swimmers'. Kudos to you, my friend. :D


Spelling/Grammar- Okay, there were quite a few mistakes here. Not terrible, just an accidental skip of a word or letter that should be capitalized. Nothing that can't be easily fixed. I'll put the correction in bold.Okay, here we go:

On the prologue chapter-

It's supposed to be my life,

filled with my choices,

and my mistakes,

with all the lessons 

I'm supposed to learn.


Either way,

with whatever I choose to do,

or what lessons learn from,

or the mistakes I make,

It's still none of your business.


(Chapter 1)

Mom was helping me move my belongings....

Jaylonwas my...

(You don't need a comma after Jaylon)

(Chapter 2)

"I was, but I have somewhere urgent to be right now," his eyes widened. (< widened would be better to use than 'his eyes got wide') "Please."

...Placed them in my apron's pocket (or 'the pocket of my apron')

(Chapter 3)

HellI could barely take care...

..and not what was popping... (you put what twice instead of 'what was')

So many thoughtwere popping through my headbut a soft tapping....

Chapter 5-

its not like I walked out on my girlfriend of three years.....

All you can hear is the headboard breaking the damn......

Okay, that's all! 

2/3 because they're very simple mistakes.

Font- You didn't choose anything too fancy, which is good, considering the type of story. The fon't fits the story nicely, like ice cream and chocolate syrup.


Okay, you don't get the bonus mark, but you did a great job on your story! Just consider a couple of my suggestions. c:


Total- 7.25/10

I really liked your story. 



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