Definition Of Love

Nobody knows what the definition of love is. I've tried finding it every day in my life. But I've never been lucky enough to find out. But what I think it is, is when you look at the girl and just feel a knot inside because she isn't yours. When you can't think of anything else than her. When you blush every time she is talking to you. When you just want her to be yours. Nobody else's just yours. When you write songs for her. When she is the only one you see. When you want to give her the world.


5. "I think I'm in love"

"Look Sophie I screwed up okay" I ran after her.

We just got caught kissing. Someone took a picture and it was all over the school. I couldn't be man enough to tell her how I was feeling. I said in front of the whole school that I just played her. It didn't mean anything. And she had been crying in hours, where I just kept running after her, wanting her to listen to me.

"Don't talk to me okay" she cried out. "Please just listen-" "No Justin.. I don't want you to talk to me... Everything you told me was crap right? It was all just a big fat lie right?" she shouted. I shook my head embarrassed, "no it wasn't.. I meant everything I said.." "Just go away" she cried. "But-" "Go away asshole" she screamed. "Okay.. But I want you to know that I don't wanna let go.. And I can't tell you how sorry I am..." I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and walked away, against my will.

The next many days were crap. I felt horrible. And she was leaving after prom. The love of my life was leaving after prom. And it was in a couple of weeks. "You've never been like this before bro" Bruce said and sat down beside me. "I know.. I feel horrible" I sighed burring my face into my hands. "Hey that geek hasn't been here for a while do you think she left?" he asked. My head shot up, "I don't know.. Do you?" He shook his head chuckling, "no bro.." "Okay" I sighed. I made her leave. I was the reason why she was leaving and why she left earlier if she did. I was a horrible person.

"Did you like that girl?" he suddenly asked. I looked at him thinking about what to say, "I don't know... Maybe.." "So you did like her then?" I nodded, "let's say that.... Happy?" "Easy bro" he smiled. "Sorry..." I sighed, "it's just I feel stupid for humiliating her in front of the whole school... When all I did was lying to everyone in school... I didn't just play her Bruce.. I really did like her... And the next thing I'm going to say is very secret.. And I feel like I can trust you bro..." "Go on then" he nodded. I took a deep breath in, then whispered, "I lost my virginity to her and she, hers to me.." "No way bro! I don't believe you" he exclaimed looking at me as if I was crazy. "Then don't... But I'm telling the truth.. Do you seriously believe that I would tell you something like that for fun?" I asked. He sighed, "but wow bro that's um... Crazy... But why have you been waiting for so long?" I shrugged, "I guess I didn't find the right girl... But I have now.. It's because my mom has always told not to do it with someone I don't love or care about.. And I'm keeping that promise... And I always have.."

"Well I won't tell anyone bro... I'll let you tell 'em.. Whenever you're comfortable with it" he patted my back. I nodded grateful, "thanks... But I'm loosing that girl bro... She hates me..." "She probably does though... I mean what you did was some seriously shit" he said. You're not helping at all. "Well that's why I've been all weird... It's because um..." I scratched my neck, "I think I'm in love.." "Really?" he raised an eyebrow. I nodded, "yeah but I'm not quite sure yet.. But I told her how I was feeling... Not about her.. Like I didn't tell her what I am feeling towards her but I told her that I didn't sleep and so.. And she said that I differently was in love..." "Well bro... I'm not an expert in this subject at all.. But I'm still jealous as fuck because you get to feel like this.." he exclaimed. "It's like heaven but it's god damn like fucking hell also.. When I'm with her I feel like I'm in heaven and when I'm not I feel like I'm in hell and all I wanna do is to be with her and protect her.. And make sure that she is happy.. I've never felt like this before" I explained looking at the ground.

"Man I don't know what to say" he said. I looked at him, "I know.. And now when I've hurt her like this... I can't stop thinking about it.. I just wanna hold her tight and stroke her hair.. Listening to every problem she has.." "Why is it always you?" he exclaimed. "What?" I asked surprised. "You have it all man... You've got the look...You've got the attitude and you got the down to earth inside.. And you've got the feeling of love.. I've never felt love before.. It's hopeless" he said dragging on his cigarette, as he did so. And so did I. "It's not hopeless... All my life I've been searching for love.. And when I least expected it, it happened.. Well I'm sorry but I gotta go to the mens room for a sec" I got up and walked inside. But as soon as everyone was gone I ran as fast I could out of the school and all the way to Sophie's house.

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