I looked at him. “What is it?”
“Come here.” He patted the space next to him and immediately my heartbeat picked up.
“No.” I whispered.
He furrowed his eyebrows together. “Why not?”
I looked down at my hands, not being able to look into his eyes. “I don’t want to.”
“You didn’t seem to have a problem sitting on me in the car.” He spat venomously.
“Spur of the moment kind of thing.” I refused to give into his harsh tone. I was going to hold my own.
“Spur of the moment kind of thing…” He repeated with a scoff. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen.” I shot back. “That’s what it means.”
“And why the hell not?” He spat.
“Because I want nothing to do with you.” I mumbled and almost immediately the room shifted into dead silence. Looking up, I nearly gasped as my eye’s found Justin’s dark, empty ones.
“What?” He muttered in questioning after a few seconds of neither one of us saying a word.
“You heard me,” I twiddled my thumbs, my stomach ripping to shreds inside of me.
“No, I don’t think I did.” He spat in disbelief.
I inwardly cursed myself, mentally preparing myself for what was about to go down between us.
“What do you mean you want nothing to do with me?” He questioned sternly, softness tinted in the mist of his tone.
“I can’t do this.” I whispered, avoiding his eyes. “I can’t pretend like nothing happened and you weren’t away for three years.”
He shook his head, bewildered. “Where is all this coming from?”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while now…” I murmured gently.
“And you’ve decided the day I come back is the time to tell me this?”
“This is not happening right now.” He murmured his gaze hard on mine. “We were just fine a couple hours ago. You ran to me, you kissed me, you told me how much you missed me…”
“I did miss you but that doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” I muttered, now refusing to look him in the eye as I stared down at my feet, the tip of my shoe digging into the hardness of the floor, a part of me hoping a hole would just open up under me and swallow me whole.
“How you feel about me?” Justin muttered in incredulity.
“Yes.” I closed my eyes shut, willing myself to stay strong. “A lot has changed between us Justin.”
“You keep fucking saying that but I don’t quite understand what you mean.” He growled, his patience growing thin. “What changed?”
“Everything did.” I whispered dryly. “When I found out you were arrested…” I trailed off, feeling myself choking up at the countless flashbacks that jeered at me.
Justin licked his lips, leaning forwards on his knees so that his elbows were placed on top, his fingers laced together in the middle of the open space, daggling mid-air. “Kelsey…”
“Don’t.” I mumbled. “Let me finish.” I demanded delicately, my voice small. “Please…” I added quickly, willing him with all that was in me to just let me say my piece.
He pressed his lips together in a firm embrace, giving me the go to continue speaking.
“I felt stupid, low, idiotic, deceived… I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that you did something so careless…” Squeezing my eyes shut again, I took a deep breath. “It was all too much to take in.” Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I bit my lip. “I ended up passing out the night that you were taken…”
His eyes widened as sadness engulfed the soles of his senses, his lips slightly parted from evident shock, clearly not knowing of this little piece of information.
“I had to be reminded by my mom why I ended up there in the first place, when I woke up. I then found out that I had six stitches done and ended up having a concussion.” I could feel his eyes burning into me but I couldn’t let it affect me. “And to make it all better,” I paused, feeling the immense grief taking hold. “Bruce came to let me know everything else and my worst nightmares came true.”
There was a knock at the door, startling me. Turning around, I was met with the warm brown eyes that belonged to Bruce and immediately my stomach dropped.
“Hey, can I talk to you for a second? It’s urgent.” He seemed nervous, on edge.
I nodded, sitting up. “Sure, come on in.”
Walking inside, he made sure to close the door before looking at me. “Are you okay? I called your phone and your brother told me what happened.”
“Yeah,” I spoke, my voice hoarse. Leaning over, I grabbed the already filled plastic cup and brought it to my lips, taking a long sip of water. “I’m okay.”
His eyes stared into mine with sorrow. “I was also informed that you know about Justin…” He murmured quietly.
I numbly nodded. “That’s why I passed out.” I curtly replied, laying the cup back down where I had gotten it from. “Is he okay?”
“He’s…” Bruce trailed off, trying to find the right word. “Edgy.”
“That’s understandable.” I mumbled my chest heavy with burdens.
Bruce looked down at his hands, not knowing where to continue on from there. “Listen, there’s something else you need to know.”
I gulped, knowing there was more to his visit and I braced myself for the worse. “What is it?''
“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this…”He looked at me. “But Justin won’t be coming out for a while.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s in a load of shit, Kelsey.” He licked his lips, pulling his bottom into his mouth. “I don’t think he’ll be able to get himself out of this.”
Tears filled my eyes as I shook my head. “No…” I whispered. “No, he’s going to be okay.” I waved a hand dismissively. “He’s going to get out of this, he always does.”
“They have evidence against him Kelsey. They saw him do it. There’s no way he can be released. The police have what they’ve been waiting for, for years. They have the proof to lock him up… for good.”
I couldn’t stop the tears that fell down my cheeks. “No,” I cried out. “No, he said he was going to come. He told me that everything was going to be alright…”
“No!” I barked. “Justin’s going to be okay. He’s going to get out of this and he’s going to come home.”
“He’s not coming home, Kelsey.” Bruce moved forwards to try and comfort me.
“He is!” I screamed. “He’s going to visit me and tell me that he’s sorry for missing dinner and that he’ll make it up to me.” I cried, slamming my fists against Bruce’s chest.
“No, he’s not Kelsey.” Bruce tried to reason, my fists doing nothing as he let me hit him, trying to capture my hands along the way.
“Justin told me himself that he’s going to make it. He wouldn’t lie to me Bruce.” I shook my head, trying to convince not only him but myself.
“He made false promises, Kelsey.”
“No!” I screamed even louder, my hands flying in all sorts of directions, trying desperately to get him away from me.
“Kelsey!” Bruce grabbed onto my wrists, stopping me from hitting him any further. “He’s gone.” He whispered and that was the last straw before I broke down in Bruce’s arms that night, crying hysterically.
“You promised me…”
“I hoped.” Justin spoke up for the first time since I began talking. “I hoped something like this wouldn’t happen and it wouldn’t have if Luke didn’t fucking set me up.”
“You think with your anger instead of your head. Did you even think about how this would affect me?” I stared up at him in shock to his arrogance. “Did you honestly think Luke wouldn’t have pulled a stunt like that? If I’m not mistaken, Bruce has told you countless times that you don’t put a hit on someone right after they interrogate you. You wait and that’s what you should have done but instead, you did what you always do. You never listen.”
“How the fuck could I have possibly let that son of a bitch go knowing what he did—” Taking a deep breath, Justin hung his head low for a brief moment before looking at me. “I—Why the sudden change of heart?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were okay and now… we’re, I don’t even know what.” He whispered.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m not the same girl you left three years ago.”
“I never left you.” He hissed. “I was always there… in your heart and you know that.”
“You weren’t there physically and that’s what I needed. I needed comfort; I needed to hear that everything was going to be okay.” I looked at him. “And you couldn’t do that.”
“If I could’ve, I would have and you know that’s the truth.” He quietly responded, sadness engulfing his eyes as he stared across the room at me.
“I don’t know what the truth is anymore when it comes to you.” I countered truthfully.
“You mean everything to me.” He mumbled, more to him then me as if he were sharing a secret. “The entire time I was locked like an animal in that God forsaken cell, all I could think about was you; your touch, your kisses, your smile, your hair, your eyes, just…” He looked at me. “You.”
“Stop.” I shook my head. “Nothing you say or do will make this better.”
He stared over at me in complete disbelief, not being able to believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. “What can I do to change your mind?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled. “There’s nothing you can do because my mind’s already set.” I susurrated softly.
"I can't lose you." Justin whispered, his shoulders slouched, his fingers now in his hair. "I can't lose you, damn it!" He barked, standing up quick while bringing the table up along with him, causing it to fall back with a loud crash. I watched intently, with sad, confused eyes as he paced the floors, mumbling incoherent words under his breath before he turned to look at me. "You can't leave me." He mumbled, defeated with himself for falling weak at my presence. "Not after everything we've been through..."
I gulped, feeling the tears pinch the back of my eyes. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the sympathy that clawed at my insides. "We can't do this anymore."
"Do what?" He spat, unable to understand where I'm coming from. "I love you, isn't that enough?"
"If you loved me you wouldn't have lied!" I sneered, the anger now getting the best of me and that’s when I knew I had finally had enough. "You promised me that you'd be there. You said you'd be late but you told me you'd make it." My chin quivered as I held in the need to cry. I wasn't going to fall limp and cave. I worked too hard to bring myself back together and there was no way in hell I was going to break down again.
Justin looked at me, taken back by my sudden outburst.
"You didn't even tell me that Luke was watching me…" I paused, squeezing my eyes shut. "I had to find out from John that Luke was there... in my bed," I bit my lip, not being able to believe the words that were coming out of my mouth just like I couldn't believe John when he had first told me. "He touched me and you made me believe it was something else! You made me think that I was just imaging things but in reality you knew who it was and you didn’t have the audacity to tell me it was Luke?!"
"I was going to handle him! That's why I didn't tell you!" He screamed, pulling at the ends of his hair, his eyes a dark shade of brown. "I didn't want to worry you. I thought I was going to get rid of him and there would be nothing to worry about—”
"But instead you got arrested." I choked out, looking down at my hands as I felt a warm substance slid down my cheek and that’s when I knew I had failed myself. "God, how could you have been so stupid?"
"I was trying to protect you!" He screamed.
“Protect me,” I mimicked him with a scoff. “Protect me from what?” I spat, the tautness between us spreading rapidly.
“Luke.” He shot back, "At first, when I found out that good for nothing bastard was watching you—”
“Wait, what?” I stared up at him in shock.
Justin froze, mentally cursing himself. “Fuck,” He rasped, frustrated with himself.
“He was watching me?”
Justin looked at me. “Yes.” He signed, running a hand through his hair once more as if the memory was still clear in his head. “He called me that night and told me exactly what you were wearing which is why I came over, to keep you safe.”
“Wow, this just keeps getting better and better,” I seethed in a sharp breath, anger pulsating within my veins. “Anything else you kept from me that night?”
“No.” Justin hissed before shaking his head, calming himself down. “I’m sorry,” He mumbled. “If I could take it all back, I would. But, I can’t.” He took a deep breath, hands on his hips as he mentally prepared himself for what was about to go down between us. “When you told me you felt someone touching you and it wasn't me... I lost it. All I could think about was keeping you out of harm’s way and killing that son of a bitch for ever thinking it was okay to put his hands on you."
Tears pinched the corners of my eyes. "My family was finally letting you in... they were finally accepting us, things were going to go back to normal..." I looked up at him, my vision blurry as I shook my head. "But you ruined everything." I whispered.
"We can fix this." He pleaded with desperate eyes. "I know we can. Just like everything else, we can work through it. We've been through worse—"
"Please," I put a hand up, scoffing. "Please enlighten me on how we've been through worse." I stared at him incredulously, as if he had lost his mind. "We've been through a lot, yes, but nothing... nothing compares to this."
"I told you from the beginning," He paused, squeezing his eyes tight, taking a deep breath as he let it out through his nose before opening them and looking me square in the eyes. "That this wasn't going to be easy. I told you that my life wasn't a walk in the park and you know what you told me?" He didn't wait for me to answer; he instead, did it for me. "You told me that you weren't going to leave. That you'd be there for me no matter how many times I fuck up."
"And you promised that you would never hurt me." I choked on my tears, looking at him with all the hurt I could muster. All the emotions held in me for the past three years unfolding before us. "You told me that you'd be there... you told me that you wouldn't get hurt. Do you remember that?"
He froze in his spot, knowing he had done it. He did the one thing he never thought he could: he broke me into a million pieces. "Kelsey..."
"You lied... you made me believe that things were going to be okay between us! You gave me hope that we could finally be together without the countless drama but it was all just one big lie wasn't it?"
"No," He shook his head. "I thought it was going to be over too! That's why I killed Luke; I wanted him out of the picture! I needed him gone so that I had nothing to worry about." He ran his hands through his hair for about the third time, pulling at the ends in frustration. "I didn't want to lie to you, I wanted to tell you but I couldn't go and take care of Luke knowing you were waiting for me. I couldn't put you through that!"
"But instead you’d rather have me see it on the news?" Looking at him with wide eyes, I sprang to my feet in complete and utter disbelief. "I much rather have at least known you were doing something so dangerous… so careless and think of the possibilities than have to find out from someone other than you!" I bellowed in hysterics. "Do you know how painful it was to realize what had happened and that you weren't going to be a part of my life for a very…very long time?”
“I never meant to hurt you.” He spoke softly, his eyes glistening in what looked like tears.
“It doesn’t matter Justin because no matter what, it won’t alternate what happened. What’s done is done.”
Justin’s hands fell down to his sides, his shoulder slouched, knowing he wasn’t going to win this battle with me. “You’re my life.” He whispered, torn. “You’re my everything. Without you, I’m nothing.”
“I’m sure you can find somebody else.” I mumbled.
“Nobody compares to you.” He looked at me as if I had officially vanished out of my mind. “I could date about a thousand girls and none of them would be able to handle a day in my life. You’re the one for me; you’ve always been the one for me.”
“Don’t do this.” I whispered, squeezing my hands tight into fists, trying to block him out from convincing me otherwise.
“Do what?” He spoke lowly.
“Say things like that… especially when you don’t mean them.” I fumbled on my feet, gulping down the pressure.
He stared at me disbelievingly. “How can you say that after everything? You know damn well how much you mean to me and how much I love you. No matter how many times I mess up, you know, deep down that you love me too.”
I watched as he stared intently into my eyes, his hands in his pockets, his chest moving up and down in an uneven pattern.
Biting my bottom lip, I glanced away, not being able to hold his stare anymore. Shuffling on my feet, I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
We stood like this for a while, neither one of us saying anything or moving until Justin began making his way across to me. My breath caught in my throat as I noticed Justin inching closer until he was finally standing right in front of me, the impeccable heat radiating off of him. I froze, not being able to back away.
Leaning over, Justin brushed his fingers against my cheek, his breathing coming uneven.
“Wha—what are you doing?” I whispered, closing my eyes under his soft touch.
He kept silent, his fingers skimming my skin, moving across my bottom lip. “You’re so sexy when you’re nervous.” He murmured, his hot inhalation clashing against mine.
“Justin…” I began, speechless.
Looking down at me, he clasped onto my chin, towing me to look at him as his other hand gripped my hip, bringing me closer. Leaning down, he pressed his lips to the base of my neck, pecking it gently before making his way around until his head buried into my neck. “I love you.” He mumbled.
I let out a shaky snuffle, taken back by his sudden hypnotizing touch.
Trailing his nose down the length of my neck and across my shoulder, he pulled away but not enough to step away. He kept close, his lips just centimeters away from mine. “We’re going to make this work.” He whispered. “I’ll do anything to make you smile again.”
I fought the urge to cry, my heart pulling at his words. “I want to believe you…” I began to shake my head, my teeth dug into my bottom lip.
“Then do it.” He mumbled. “Believe me when I tell you I will make you love me again.”
I let out a small whimper, my eyes staring sadly into his. I never stopped; I wanted to say but kept myself from saying anything at all.
“I’ll do anything to prove to you how sorry I am. I know I can’t make up for the time we’ve lost but I sure as hell can try to earn your trust back.”
I glanced at him through my eyelashes, my heartbeat accelerating as he moved in closer to me. “I won’t give up on us.” He murmured. “I’m going to fight tooth and nail for you. I’m not letting you go no matter how hard you try to push me away.”
I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. I was supposed to be mad at him but a part of me couldn’t help but fall into the palms of his hands. “You promise?” I inwardly huffed, knowing I was digging myself into a far deeper hole then when I first began.
Pressing his forehead to mine, Justin gazed lovingly into my eyes. “With everything in me, baby.” Kissing my nose, he nuzzled it soon after with his own. “We’re going to be okay...” He kissed my lips. “I promise.”
THE FIRST CHAPTER OF DANGER'S BACK!!
I have to cut the first chapter because its was to long :(((