Close As Strangers.

I love him, I do. I love him with every ounce of my body, I’m just tired. Tired of pretending that I’m okay and that I’m happy for him because, I’m not. I’m not happy for him and I’m certainly not okay. Could you live without the love of your life for 6 months straight?.

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3. Beside You.

-Alexa’s POV-

The alarm clock flashed 8:00am before buzzing out the radio, I sighed wiping the sleep from my eyes they were red, sore and puffy from lack of sleep and from crying for four hours straight. I dragged my head from the pillow and swung my legs out the side of the bed dragging myself to my bathroom. I peeled the tear drenched PJ’s and switched the shower on climbing in I let the scorching beads of water fall aimlessly onto my skin, usually I spend too much time here over thinking every small detail but today I didn’t let myself I quickly washed my hair and body before jumping out drying myself, throwing on my work uniform and combing my dyed red hair into a messy bun. Strolling down the creaky wooden I was greeted by my mother hovering over a frying pan in the kitchen. “Good morning sweetie, pancakes?” She questioned before making eye contact “Oh gosh darling, he’ll be home soon” She stated before taking me into her arms, she always did this when she knew something wasn’t right or when I was ill and it made me feel so safe and secure. I sobbed at the mention of Ashton.

“I think we broke up mum” She squeezed me tighter in her arms “Baby, things will get better, he’ll come home and realise what he’s missing” she placed a kiss on my forehead before returning to the pancake that was burning on the stove. What she fails to realise is that I’m the one that needs to realise what I’m missing. I feel worse than I did yesterday -  when he was mine I felt miles away and now I’m without him I’m a million miles away.  This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my 18 years. I let my head fall onto the glass table in front of me and wrapped my arms around it. “What happened then?” My mum asked for details. “I don’t know mum, things have changed, God no they haven’t. I love him just as much as I did day one. But I can’t do this day in day out without him, I feel like a stranger to him - just someone that’s pulling him back when he can spread his wings elsewhere. He’ll come back things will be alright for a while but what happens when he leaves again? I’m here alone, I can’t keep putting myself through that” I muttered into the table not wanting a reaction for my mother. “Baby, I know you love him and that this is hard but things will get better he’ll come back and I don’t know what will happen but what I do know is that things will work out eventually maybe you’ll forget him or maybe you’ll marry him who knows, everything happens for a reason” Mum rambled on,  blaaaah blah blah blah blah fait this, fait that, everything happens for a reason, it’ll all work out. “Right I’m off to work, have a good day and try to cheer up” She kissed my cheek “Alright, thanks mum”. 

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