Home at Ash and Luke!
"Ash we need to do something, you can't just be here all day, reading, whatever you now are reading.." I said trying to make Ash come up. But before he answer my phone calls, it's Calum,
Whatever I'm reading? Right now I hate him, I really do, I read the letter from Monica, she's amazing! And I miss her, and the doctor doesn't call me, and I hate it, and and And, there's so many things, I just what to cry all day long! But know I hearing Luke talking I phone whit someone, I can't hear, but Luke says, "okay bye, where coming, thanks Calum, Ash really need that!"
"What do you want me to do now?" I walked over to the bad room, whit Monica's letter in my hand, I'm not gonna give up on her! I really do love her, and I need to break up whit River, because it miss the time we were best friends, I really miss that! I don't wanna be something more than best friends, when I don't love her, it's gross of me, what did I even think in the start, I'm so stupid!
While I'm thinking like I don't know, I hearing Luke screaming at me, saying we need to go, right now, because we're meeting some fans, I love our fans, but, Monica is my everything, I need her, I miss her, I like her, I love her!
"I'm coming" i whisper, so Luke will calm down!
"Great" Luke smiled.
In the car I'm just reading Monica's letter, again, and suddenly Michael ask what I'm reading, I told him that i read the letter from Monica, and tears come to my eyes. Michael looked at me, and ask how I get that? And what stands in it?
And I read up:
I love you, and we don't know if I'm going to wake up, or not, if you love me to, I hope I wake up, if you don't, I hope I die, because I can't really see why I should live without the boy I'm living for, and everybody knows that is you, I know it's hard to read this, and know you think it's your fault, but it isn't, I shouldn't had let you go from the start, but I really do love you, and if you give me a chance, I make it all up, I need you, I remember the time you told me for the first time that you loved me, I miss that, and all I can see know is you and River, it's hurt me, it really breaks me down, because your all I want, but you can't even be my friend, because River told you not to, and it's not fair, because, when Harry, told me not to see you, because you where 'the bad boy' did I stop? No! Because what? because I love you, whit my body and heart, I can't remember why we broke up, but whatever happened, I'm sorry, i'm really sorry, I am! I miss you kisses, I miss all of you, I look at our videos together, I miss it, the pictures of us are still in my phone, and I know it's still in your phone to, because don't forget, Michael and I are like brother and sister, and he tells me everything, and I tell him everything! Or, no, not everything, because I keep all you told me for myself, of cause I do, and you know it, that's love, and I just can't stop loving you, and it hurts, I can't even be together whit Luke anymore, because River make lies about me to you guys, and I hate her for doing that, it's only Michael, he's on my side, River got what she wanted, me out of your life, out of 5sos' life, I'm out, now she's happy, and I'm broken, I'm maybe dead, aren't you happy? Now your girl is happy? The one you told me that you love? She's happy, you need to be happy? Because, I was just I big fat lie, I'm not mad, or angry, I'm broken, I hate my self, I'm nothing, without you, but whit you, I'm perfect, I love myself,
Goodbye, my love
I said, whit tears running from my eyes.