“Are YOU kidding ME? You leave me some shitty little note saying you love me and then you go out and get it on with all the fucking Victoria’s Secret models, and you expect me to be okay with that? Well guess what, I’m not. I told you, I’m done. I’m so much better off without you.”
She stormed back into the room and left me standing alone. I took that as my cue to leave and stormed down the hall. I pushed the double doors open and walked into the chilled air.
How could she say she doesn’t care about me after all the time we spent together? All the memories we made. I mean she didn’t even let me explain that those photos were from before I met her. Management wanted me to go out with some girls and kiss them in public, so that’s what I did. I never once cheated on her. I would never cheat on her. I fucking love her.
I walked into the parking lot, got in the driver’s seat in our black escalade and waited for the guys to come out. While I waited I grabbed some headphones from the console, plugged them into my phone and pressed play. I Don’t Love You by My Chemical Romance came on. How ironic. I changed the song. The strumming of a guitar played; it was Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls. I changed it again and heard our own song, Gotta Be You sound in my ears. I snatched the headphones out and threw them in the back seat just as Niall climbed in.
“Whoa, watch it man. Could taken my eye out” he joked. I rolled my eyes, not in the mood for his spirit. As soon as they were all in I sped off in the direction of the hotel we were staying in. the ride was extremely quiet so I turned the radio up to drown out the thoughts of what had happened. Teardrops on My Guitar by Taylor Swift filled the air. I turned it right off again. Liam sighed.
“You want to talk about it?” I kept my eyes on the road and said nothing.
“Did you explain about the pictures?” Zayn piped up from the back.
“She didn’t let me” I growled.
“I’m sure if you tried again she would—“ Niall began but I cut him off with the radio. I switched the station and listened to the news. When we arrived at the hotel I parked and jogged up to the suite. I stormed into my room feeling the tears burn my eyes. Slamming the door I threw myself on the bed like a teenage girl. It was all bullshit. I couldn’t get her face out of y mind. One minute I would see her happy, smiling face, the next it would be the way she looked at me in pure disgust. Pure hatred.
I heard a knock on my door but didn’t bother to move, I only grunted. They walked in and I felt the bed beside me sink down.
“What she did was uncalled for” Louis spoke. “But I don’t think you handled it very well..” he trailed off.
“Who’s side are you on?” I growled, picking my head up to glare at him.
“Neither. I’m team Louis. I’m just saying that neither of you are off the hook. You weren’t very nice in the first place.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t give me that bullshit” he mocked my voice. My face fell. “And then you didn’t even try to explain.”
“I did to—“
“Don’t interrupt me. You didn’t try. We all heard it. Everyone. Look, she’s going through a rough time, and I’m not saying she has an excuse to act like that and say what she did, but she needs you. She needs all of us. And frankly, you need her. She made you happy, something I haven’t seen in, forever. I’m not saying you have to go and beg her to take you back now, because I don’t even know if she will. All I’m saying is that you need to make sure she understands everything. And no matter how things end up, you need to be there for her. Her brother is dying. She already lost her parents. She’s losing her brother. Don’t make her lose you too. Because I know she loves you, and you love her too.”
With that he got up and walked out, closing the door behind him.
Shane was finally out of surgery about six hours later. I was exhausted but wanted to make sure I was there when he woke up. I was doing everything I could to keep my mind off of Harry. Unfortunately that isn’t saying much. A doctor came into the room as they wheeled Shane in.
“The surgery went very well, we have him on some sedatives so he will be out for a bit longer but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” He walked out and left me alone with a sleeping Shane. I decided since he was asleep I should be too and got comfortable on the very uncomfortable chair. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
“Would you just take it? She won’t take me seriously if I give it to her. And you can’t open it Nicole, I’m serious. Not until…” Shane’s voice trailed off. I opened my eyes to see a blurry Shane sitting up in bed. I blinked and saw a clear Nicole quickly stash an envelope in Shane’s duffel bag. I yawned and sat up, stretching m arms out in front of me.
“What are you guys doing here? Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked looking around to see all my siblings there.
“I told you she wouldn’t have minded. Would have been better than all her snoring.” Chelsea grumbled rolling her eyes.
“I don’t snore” I snarled back.
Jeff and Shane looked at each other and busted out laughing. “Yeah, sure, whatever you say” Shane said smiling.
Did I really snore? Yikes, that’s embarrassing. I wonder if Harry…no. Stop.
“Hey Alex could you go get some McDonalds? I’m feeling a little chicken nugget-y” Shane rubbed his stomach. Alex laughed and agreed. Chelsea? Coley? Jeff? Don’t you want to go with him?” he said hinting towards the door.
“Oh, yeah. Ok” Nicole said leaving the room awkwardly with the others.
“What?” I looked at Shane. He patted the bed next to him and I moved. Sitting down I noticed an envelope in Shane’s hand. “What’s that?” I asked.
“This is from me to you. For you to read later. I wrote it while you were asleep.” He handed it to me and as I made to open it he snatched it back. “For you to read LATER” he emphasized.
I laughed and put it in my purse. We watched his favorite show, Gravity Falls, not that he would ever admit it, until the others came back with food.
When we were done with our “dinner” I took the others home while Alex stayed with Shane for the night. When everyone was in bed and asleep I dug in my purse for the letter and opened it up.
I’m going to die. I know you don’t like hearing it, but you need to. You don’t deserve to go through this, after grandpa and dad, now me? It isn’t fair, but that’s the curse right? Don’t let this ruin your life. You are such a great sister and I’m so thankful that you stepped up to take care of us, instead of leaving. Your one of my best friends and it’s going to suck leaving you. But I promise that I will look down upon you with mom and dad. And if anything ever happens, just know that I will always be there for you. I will always protect you, like you did for me. Always.
I only ask one thing of you. Don’t forget how to love. Harry really is a great guy, and yeah he made a mistake, but that’s just it. A mistake. Don’t give up on him. I know you love him, and he loves you. Don’t let go of love.
I love you lots bigger than space,
P.S Don’t change my will. I have reasons behind my madness.
Tears poured down my face. I couldn’t breathe. Of course he would say all that. My little man was just that, a man. He’s so mature and grown up. What did this happen to him of all people? Why not me?
“Why not me, God? WHY NOT ME?” I yelled. “I’M FUCKING DONE!” I was choking on my sobs now. I picked up the nearest object and threw it across the room. I watched my remote shatter. It felt good. I snatched the expensive lamp off my bedside table and threw it on the ground. I began to smash everything of value. The TV, my stereo system, my laptop, the keyboard, all my guitars, everything. I can always buy a new TV. I can buy a new laptop and new guitars. But I can’t buy memories. I can’t buy a new brother.