The Other Gilbert Girl


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6. "STOP BEING SUCH A UNICORN LICKING, DOG HUMPING, FUDGE EATING FLIP FLOP

It's been a week since Stef Stef and I have become besties!

He's told me that Elena's being an evil female dog.

I only realise that is true when I bump into her at the grill.

GGGGGRRRRRIIIIILLLLL

Me and Mr Mattster were just talking when Evil came up behind me and dumped a drink of red wine on me! The worst thing was that I was warring my fav WHITE jumper!

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" I shouted.

"THAT WAS FOR BEING THE EVIL S''' YOU ARE AND TAKING MY BOYFRIEND AWAY FROM ME!"

"OH YEAH, WHICH ONE!" I shouted.

"YOU ARE SUCH A SARCASTIC BITCH THAT EVEN DAMON WOULD GET FED UP WITH TALKING TO YOU!"

She just compared me to that sadistic jerk, OH GAME ON SISTA!

"SINCE WHEN CAN FEMALE DOGS TALK?" I asked.

"YEAH, WELL, I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A TALKING PIG, YET HERE I AM TALKING TO ONE!"

"STOP BEING SUCH A UNICORN LICKING, DOG HUMPING, FUDGE EATING FLIP FLOP!"

I heard a few 'ohhs' and a few 'burns' and a LOT of laughs being stifled.

"You stop, stop, stop..."

It was then that she started the water works. Evil, manipulative BEEP.

"What the hell did you do to her Christy?" asked a very worried Damily.

"I did absolutely nothing wrong."

"Yeah you did, you, you went to break, break my neck."

"Be doing a lot of people a lot of favours," I mumbled to myself, knowing full well Damon could hear me.

"Shut the hell up Christy, stop trying to be so smart, cause you never will be," Damon said.

I can't believe he just said that. You know what, when he turns Elena into a vampire her evil side will become even bigger and she won't be able to hide it anymore. He will wish that I did try and kill her.

"Don't come crying to me when you realise you've created a monster."

And with that, I made an EPIC dramatic exit by opening both the doors at the same time and once I got outside the wind blew threw my hair making it look badass.

MMMIIIKKKAAALLLEEESSSOOONNNSSS MMMAAANNNSSSIIIOOONNN

"Yo, yo, yo, Becky oh?"

"Still not got it Christy?" she asked.

"No, but I'm getting there, slowly, but surely."

"What do you wanna do?"

Umm, what do I wanna do? That's a good question.

OMFG! I have the best idea EVER!

I whispered it into Becks ear and she jumped up and down squealing whilst nodding her head.

This is going to be sooo much FUN!

(Insert evil laugh) (cough cough cough)

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