Chapter 3: The P.O.V.s
When I woke up my head was buzzing like a beehive. All I could remember from the night before was the limo doors locking and then some crazy green gas filling the car. Now this. Waking up in some place that looks like a warehouse tied to a chair. Really? This was bullshit as far as I was concerned. Simon has been a bit slack in his job and once he paid the ransom he would hear my mouth. I guarantee that.
Hey! You over there! Yes in the green jumpsuit. Let me out of here. You have a daughter? I’ll get you tickets to our next show and personally autograph anything she wants.
Can you hear me???
Why can’t this kid shut his mouth for more than a minute??? Ever since he woke up he’s been going on and on like anybody cares. In two minutes I’m going to turn him around so he can see the giant axe behind him. I’ll explain the mechanism to him…how at the stroke of eight the clock will run out and it will trigger a signal for the machine to pull a pin. When the pin comes out the axe is let loose and whatever is in that chair…how can I say this delicately…whatever is in that chair multiplies. One becomes two if you get my meaning.
Heee heeeee heeeee…what a delicious day this will be. Now to work on my riddle for the Caped Crapper when he gets here…
Wow Simon really screwed this one up. This crazy chick somehow got me out of the car and has me tied up in this apartment. I bet she’ll want me to do her, you know…some of the old Cheshire Charm tossed her way. That’s it mate. A few kisses and a nibble or two should get her in my corner. I can’t blame her for what she did. She just happened to be more successful than the other one million who wanted to do this. And now that I look at her she is kinda hot. She must be in her thirties or maybe even older. But she’s such a flaming MILF.
Hey old Mum! I know you think you need to keep me tied but you don’t. I’m sort of happy you have me. I don’t know why but I really want to…know you better if you get my drift. Come on babe…you’d be daft not to.
Poison Ivy’s P.O.V.
The boy in the chair just drones on and on. I suppose he’s cute in some strange way and I can see in his eyes that my pheromones are tickling his fancy. There wouldn’t be a problem I suppose if I were to give him a nice show before his time arrives. Yes, a bit of the old strip-tease and then I’ll…
Did he just call me ‘old mum’??? That cheeky little twit! We’ll see if he can buy Clarisse off with his charm. Let’s see who the screamer is when her tentacles take hold of him and she pulls him into her bulb and fills it with her digestive juices. He’ll be a pile of goo in less than fifteen seconds…not even enough time for that peanut-sized brain to comprehend what is happening.
Oh man how did I end up here? This is like the side of a fucking mountain! Jesus, Simon fucked up this time! I can’t even see the bottom! OH MY GOD! MY FOOT IS SLIPPING!
Hahaha. Just look at this idiot. One little whiff of my gas and he’s bolted himself to that wall. His fear of heights is doing him in. Maybe later I’ll introduce him to another little scenario…I’ll lead him out onto the ledge and explain it’s the way down. The way the wind blows around the thirty-fifth floor here he won’t get more than four steps off before he slips. Then his fans can come pick him up with a sponge. No wonder I might just be the smartest of the arch-villains Joker has assembled. I bet none of the others are going to look accidental.
Here Zayn…have another drink and a cigarette. The way off the mountain will be shown soon enough. I think I hear the shurpas returning now…
Hehe…with my mask on he thinks I’m his mate Louis. Doesn’t say much for him does it…
Would you look at this shit? I don’t know who this guy is but half of him looks like he was dipped in the deep fryer at Nando’s. The one down the road from Old Trafford Stadium in Manchester. Mmmm…just thinking about it reminds me how hungry I am. But do I want this nasty looking gent to bring me food? I don’t think so. And why the hell does he keep looking at me and flipping that damned coin?
Any chance of getting some food mate? Listen…I know what ever you’ve asked for Simon will pay. I’m his favorite you know. I can’t tell you how many times he’s told me that the others are nothing without me there. He’ll pay for sure.
Great…he can’t talk either. I guess if he can’t talk he probably can’t hear. I don’t even see an ear on that side. Goddamn you Simon, hurry with that payment.
Two Face’s P.O.V.
Heads I cut his tongue out. Damnit…tails. Heads I put a bullet through the place where his brain should be. Damnit…tails. Heads I don’t wait for eight o’clock and I feed him into the wood chipper now. Damnit to hell! Tails again! Does this fucking coin even have a heads to it???
But it doesn’t matter. I can wait. I have patience. I have will power.
Jesus, he’s talking again. What the hell is a Nando’s?
Heads I break his kneecaps. Damnit…
Where’s my phone? I’m calling Bruce Wayne to see what his friend is up to…