When Grace and I walked into class, it was as if everyone knew her and all they wanted to do was hear how her day was going. I wondered if I'd ever be the girl everyone knew, the girl everyone wanted to know.
I walked by Grace's side, trying not to make eye contact with anyone in the groups that had formed in different parts of the lab. I was never this insecure, this underconfident but after Mike and I broke up, it was as if he took away a piece of me that I could just never get back. The piece of me that had my confidence, my self esteem. He took everything that I loved about me and left me with the love I had for him. I knew I shouldn't still be hung up on a guy like him but who was I kidding, I so clearly was. Before I left, he'd become 'one of them'. I was always someone who was under the radar but when he became popular, I became the loser he used to date.
I never thought he'd stop people from picking on me, being mean but I never thought that he'd join them either. In situations like these, you can either fight them off or let them take everything you have. I chose the second option.
So here I was standing in the middle of chemistry lab, trying to find a place to sit and not let anyone take another piece of me.
Grace found a place by her friends.
"Over there." She said, pointing to a place in the corner, where a bunch of girls waved at her.
"Okay." I said as I sheepishly followed her there. She hugged the blondes one by one and got caught up in talking to them, while I just sat there quietly. I was just happy no one had said anything to me because I wasn't very good at making conversation when I hadn't gotten any sleep.
A short, fat man with glasses entered the room, who I assumed was the teacher.
"Settle down everyone. My name is Mr. Evans and I will be teaching you chemistry for the school year." He said, as he finished writing his name on the white board behind him.
The class was talking within itself when he abruptly said,"Are there any new students here?"
I really didn't want to have the attention of the whole class on the first day, but I had no choice but to raise my hand, as Grace poked me telling me to raise my hand.
"Oh, hi. What's your name?" He asked, a warm smile on his face.
"Rachel." I said, awkwardly looking around the room.
"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself Rachel." Mr. Evans said leaning against his chair.
I hated such situations, I had nothing to tell and my heart was racing. I quickly collected myself and started to recite the description I had learnt by heart, the description that was just enough to make the teachers happy but not enough to let the students in. "My name is Rachel Abrahams, I'm from California. My family and I moved here because my dad got a job here. I like reading, listening to music and watching movies."
"That's great Rachel, thank you." Mr. Evans said.
The rest of the class was a blur. I was on my toes the whole time, anticipating a question that never came.