I must've had a few beers last night, my head, oh shit my head hurt like hell. I woke up first out of everyone that I think stayed over, but I had no idea what else happened last night, not yet anyway.
My arm was trapped under something, I lifted up the covers with my free hand to find a head and arm across my chest.
As my eyes adjusted to see a Lester-spotted-Phil. Oh great, what the hell had happened last night? He was topless and had his naked top half strewn on me. Come to think of it, I had absolutely no clothes on what so ever. Now I was getting really concerned. It was really hot last night (not just because Phil was in the bed with me) so I could've just sleep-taken-clothes-off like I sometimes do. But Phil? I've never known him not to sleep with clothes off.
Then I remembered: I'd been really flirty with Phil. Like REALLY in his face, kinky and stuff. We argued about something of other. Something to do with love and feelings for each other I think??Then, oh god.
We had passionate make-out session. All I remembered was him lying on top of me kissing our faces off. And then what? I think we got interrupted before taking each other's clothes off (which seems like the most likely thing so far) and we ended up looking at Chris whipping PJ in Phil's bedroom (I'm not going to lie, it turned me on a bit). Or that was one of my weird as fuck dreams. Then I have no idea.
I decided to ask Phil what happened once he'd woken up.
He just lay their on me so peacefully and breathed like I'd imagine an angel would. We fitted together snugly like pieces in a jigsaw. Phil was so sweet and cute looking as he just rested, I couldn't help but smile and think that this is all I want in life.
But Phil's body was still crushing my arm. Like properly killing my arm as it was practically supporting his entire weight. I didn't want to wake him coz that's just mean so I decided to rest my head as much as I could on his. I couldn't go back to sleep so I just grabbed for my phone and scrolled through twitter over our faces. Haha, just my luck that it's on full brightness blinding me. I quickly dropped the brightness , hoping I hadn't woken him up.
Phil elongated his arms across me and did a quick cute yawn like a hedgehog and then blinked a few times, looking up at me.
"Morning Phil. Good sleep?" I said trying not to bring the matter onto the events of last night for as long as possible.
"Urmm, yeah best nights sleep in a very long time if I'm being honest. H-how did we get undressed though?"
"I thought I'd ask you as soon as you'd woken up as I was drunk and cannot remember much."
"Well this never happened when we was awake, i put the covers over you when you were sparked out and fell asleep my self, that's it!"
"Well how the fuck did this happen!" I got pissed off a bit as this freaked me out. Phil could see that.
"I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation to this. What do you remember then about last night then?"
I told him what I remembered. Everything.
"...that's it, can you fill in any gaps?"
"Well Urm, you told me you loved me a LOT, like as much as..."
"As I love you." He quickly continued to avoid that. "And then we made-out for a while and then heard that unearthly noise from PJ, I can't unsee that, I wish we could. Then we got back to sleep, but you have no idea how flirty and in my face about sleeping with me you were."
"Oh I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I can't believe it."
"So, you didn't mean anything that you said last night? Not a single word?" Phil started to have tears in his eyes and blush.
I had to avoid the question.
"Phil squishing my arm really bad, can you lift up your body a second?"
He arched his body and I quickly removed my now free arm. But before he could repeat the question I snapped back in there.
"I wonder how PJ and Chris are? We should go and get something to eat, it's nearly mid-day. Let's go then." I jumped out of bed quickly first realising my head hurts like hell. I held my head for a couple of seconds.
Phil stared at me for all the while, looking me up and down then just looking wide-eyed at my crotch. Then, oh shit, I'm naked.
"Oh god, Phil I'm sorry, Urm, just bear with me while I get my clothes, I forgot I was undressed."
"Yeah right, I totally believe that. You-you have urm." He paused "a lovely body Dan. Like really nice" he trailed off at the end so I couldn't really hear him clearly as I scrambled to get jeans and a t-shirt on.
"Pardon??" I knew what he said anyway but I wanted to hear it again.
"You have a beautiful body, Daniel" he sounded innocent again.
"You only call me Daniel when you find me sexy, I know. I've lived with you long enough to know" my head ache was getting worse but I didn't want Phil to know.
Phil just blankly looked at me again, embarrassed, he then buried his head in the covers .
"Phil, you don't need to be embarrassed. If I were you, I'd have fucked me long ago"
"What do you mean? You'd like, fuck me?"
I couldn't avoid these questions about how I feel toward him any longer. I knew how he felt towards me, but I just couldn't say it back, it would feel weird, because I've never said it to anyone before. And I can't feel love toward anyone and tell them, I've just held it in. Now obviously I'm never going to conceal much longer anything, any secrets or surprises will burst out of my sober body.
"Well..." I didn't know how to say anything else. My brain had forgotten how to tell me to talk.
Then I was saved by a load knock at the bedroom door. Followed by a loved-up Chris and PJ.
"How are you! Looking rough guys, one-night-stands don't tend to be this rough though guys. Tell us everything!" A rather excited and hyper Chris said.
"Give us a sec. We'll have breakfast in a second with you lot. We need to have certain discussions about the events of last night" I sternly said to then. They both exited, giggling like idiots.
I followed soon after and got tea for me and Phil. He came in looking rough, but he didn't bother to put a top on so he was left topless, which I found sexy as shit. It was so sleek and soft looking. To think i waisted time this morning while was asleep I could've seen what Phil was really like.
We sat down on the sofas, a few moments of awkward silence went passed before PJ blurted out.
"We know you saw us last night. We sorta saw both of you a bit"
Me and Phil stared at each other.
"It's just we thought it wasn't you two that were making those unholy sounds. So we checked on you. Sorry, we should've left you to whatever the hell you were doing" I quickly said.
"Fine, well that's cleared up. Anything else?" Chris looked very suspicious both PJ and him looked guilty but like they were going to laugh so much any second soon.
"Well. We're not sure how we lost some clothes during the night, but I think judging by the looks on your faces, you know why. Care to explain?" Phil devilishly said.
"We have no idea how on earth that happened!" Chris guiltily said, then nudged PJ.
"Oh yeah yeah, NO idea at all..." There was a brief moment of silence before they both entered fits of hysterics.
Me and Phil looked at each other like 'we're so gonna kill them' .
Once they'd calmed down I needed more information than 'they'd done it'.
"Go on, what else? Your hiding and just spill out everything" I said.
"Well. Urm, we took off your top and then took a picture of you snuggled up together, with the covers covering you, then posted it on twitter. That's it though."
"YOU DID WHHAATT!!!???" Me and Phil cried out.
"On twitter? The whole phandom is gonna be thinking phan is real, the radio people are gonna think how inappropriate we're behaving and fire us and then less money and we will lose fans and omg..." I shouted.
"It's not that serious, Dan don't worry! I'll just say phan isn't real and you do something like be in a relationship with someone but Phil fit a week then go back to you're unhappy lives not admitting your feelings ever to each other and it'll kill you." Chris rambled.
It'll kill me
Basically I needed this sorted now! I can't lose my job! I can't afford to be with anyone other than Phil. Phil. My best friend, but never quite in the friend zone. My trusted companion. The only person I could ever see myself in a relationship with. But I wouldn't. Not ever. I can't. It's not gonna happen. Why though? What is stopping me??