I couldn’t help but giggle as Josh told me stories of his life that had happened since I had left. The way his eyes sparkled with champagne made it even more wonderful.
“Try to focus” I heard that nagging voice in my ear, and I rolled my eyes.
“Josh, I think I should come back with you tonight” I say, and he cocked his head to the side, “I mean, we haven't seen each other in a while, we can catch up, have a drink, and maybe do something tomorrow” I suggest.
“Let me say goodbye to a few people, and then I will pul the car around, wait outside for me in ten minutes” he grinned, and pecked my cheek before walking away.
“Good, get your things and be on your way, we will be following closely behind you, the gang all live in the same apartment complex. Josh’s room has the bag on drugs we need, so you are going to have to distract him” Douglas muttered in my ear.
I had to consider what I was doing? Was I willing to betray one of my friends for a couple kilos of drugs? Knowing if he screws up, his life is just as at stake as Zayn’s? Zayn. The boy I was helpless infatuated with. Yes. It was worth it.
I walked outside, and let the stars looked down on me, telling me to follow my gut, that this was necessary.
“Brook” I turned and saw a dazzling Ricky, he stood in a suit, with a bow tie, and his black hair pushed back. “You look wonderful” he grinned, I rolled my eyes, and kept my gaze forward. “Aren’t you going to tell me the same?” he teased.
“I’ve got nothing to say to you, Ricky. I work for you, that doesn’t make you my friend” I said.
“I’ve got something to tell you” he spoke, and I turned to him. It wouldn’t be good, no part of believed it would be good. “Perrie is back with the boys again” he said, he wasn’t aware I already knew that.
“I know, Ricky.” I spoke, looking down. My mind raced, thinking of her, is she reason Zayn broke up with me? Did she dig her claws into him like she did the last time. “I’m not interested, he can see who he wants, so can all of the boys” I shake my head.
“Oh, I heard about Zayn’s little melt down, and yours” he smirked.
“Have you got anything helpful to say to me, Ricky? I am about to go and try and save your ass, so if you want to do anything right now, give me some words of fucking wisdom!” I yelled, in a hushed voice.
“Don’t fuck it up” was all he spoke, and then turned away, and walked back inside to the wonder lit building.
“That was rough” the voice in my ear muttered.
“Not now, Douglas” I snapped, and folded my arms across my chest.
Soon enough Josh came outside, with a grin on his face, and a sparkle in his eye. “Should we go?” he asked me, and I nod.
Around came a black convertible, and I raised my eyebrows at him. “Like I said, I moved up the world” he smirked, and got into the drivers seat.
We drove slowly, “Are you sure you’ve not had to much to drink?” I asked him, he nodded slowly but struggled to steer the car in a straight line, it was a good thing the streets weren’t that busy this time of night.
“How’d you end up here, Brook?” he asked me, taking a sharp left, “How’d a good girl, like you, end up, at a party full of thugs thinking they are somebody, or that they could be something?” he slurred, and squinted to focus on the road.
I didn’t answer his question, because I didn’t have an answer to it. I didn’t know how I went from having a family, to having a… new family. I suppose that’s what we were, a fragmented family.
“Brook? Have… Have I ever said I am sorry what I did to you that night at the the club, when we first met?” his mind was asking so many questions at once.
“Yes, countless times, every time you are drunk in fact, you remind me your sorry” I laugh a little at his drunk state, but cling tightly to the door as I worry for my safety.
“I know you aren’t here for yourself, Brook. I know you are here protecting Zayn, that’s all you ever do” he told me, and I loosened my grip on the door and slowly turned to him.
“I do more than that”
“No, I mean, you wouldn’t come half way around the world just to try something new, you’d do it to save someone, but never for yourself” he rambled, and I wondered how in a drunken state, he still seemed to know me so well.
“Your too good for this world, Brook Green!” he shouted, and a impish grin was planted firmly on his face, like he had just told the world.
After a minute or to of silence, and warm air, the wind was cool, and the rain thudded down on the car, bouncing, and thunder roared in the background. I glanced over to Josh, who had lost his perfect smile.
“I need to tell you something, Brook” he whispered, and turned the radio down so it now only buzzed in the background. “And, I don’t want you to hate me because of it.” he mumbled.
“I wouldn’t hate you, Josh, I’m friends with murders, your quiet high on the rankings” I try and joke, but like the rain he only falls harder, as his eyes mix with the rain and look at me, still trying to focus on the road that seems to have no lights around it, no shops nearby, nothing.
“I met a girl” he began, “Not long after I said goodbye to you, remember when you came over told me you were leaving, or, something like that, who knows, we’ve said goodbye to many times to recall” he paused, and chuckled at his own joke.
“Go on” I spoke.
“Anyway, he name was Jane, she’s beautiful” he reached over to the glove box and threw a picture of her onto my lap.” and he was right, she was beautiful. “I told her, not to be with me, not let me in, and if i fell in love with her, to run. She didn’t listen.” he paused, again.
“So, what happened?”
“That’s why I am here. I had to take this job, for some guy called Alex, he wanted to me to get rid of some rivals. And, do you know why I had to take the job?” he asked me, and I simply shook my head. “Because, they’ve took her. They have her held up in some storage unit, with a gag in her mouth, and If I didn’t do it, they’d kill her.”
“You accepted the job, so what’s the problem?” I asked.
“You” he whispered, his voice on the edge of breaking, “it’s always you. I could do it if it was just anyone, but it’s you.” he looked over at me, and then broke back to the road.
“You work for, Ricky. I didn’t understand why until, I figured you were doing it for Zayn. Ricky, has a lot of rivals, he happens to be our main one, but you knew that. Because you were coming home with me, to distract me and then they would take everything”
It hit me then what was going to happen.
“How ironic. We both here to save the person we love, no matter the cost is for us.” I said, and he nodded. “So, how are you going to do it?” I asked, not frightened of death. “Gun, crash the car, throw me into a lake, give me some clarity?” I beg him.
“I don’t know, I don’t know how I am going to do it.” he spoke.
“Brook, you need to get out of the car” that voice was in my ear, “Brook, it’s Alfie, please get out of the car.”, I turned of the monitor, so it was just me and Josh.
“I want it to be quick” I said, a tear falling. “I don’t want it to hurt” I shook my head, and now I was frightened. “I don’t want it to hurt” I now sob in the seat beside him, and the car pulls to a stop.
“I don’t want to do it, Brook.” he shakes his head, and throws his arms around me, and I sob into his chest, “I don’t want to do it” he now wept to.
Then he pulled back and there was a faint glimpse of hope in his eyes, “I’ve had an idea, and it might sound mad, but it’s nothing you haven’t done before” he told me, and sniffled and nodded for him to continue. “Fake your death.” he spoke.
“Again?” I asked, my breathing was heavy and every word ached, “I can’t, no. I won’t pretend anymore, either you kill me, or you let me go, you do it, or it doesn’t happen” I beg him.
“I’ve got another idea” he whispered, this time more solely, “We could do it together?” he suggested.
“We both kill me?”
“No, we kill us” he spoke. “I know they will let her go, because she isn’t any use, but I know once Alex is done with me he’ll… look, if I kill you, and you kill, it ends how it started” he spoke. I took a breath, and nodded, “There is some poison in the trunk, we can take that bottle of whiskey from the back seat, spike it, and drink it, down by a little a creek, how does that sound?” he asked, I nodded.
I knew it was the drink that would kill me.
As we did was he said, took the whiskey, walked to the creek, I had one dying thought. Zayn.
“What about Zayn?” I whispered, mascara was everywhere, and I was in pieces.
“Do you want to call him?” he pulled out his phone, and handed it to me, “Throw in the lake once your done” he spoke, and I nodded.
He didn’t pick up the phone, so I was left with no choice then to leave a message.
“Hey… It’s me. I just wanted to to let you know, that I’m going now. I’m down by a lake, and I’m with Josh, and it’s a long story. I..er… I don’t know what to say, in about three minutes, I won’t hear your voice again, and you’ll be left with nothing but this message, me and Josh are going to kill each other. So, er, say goodbye to guys for me…. I’m sorry… I-I had so many things that I wanted to say, but they just don’t want to come out. I guess, I just need you to promise you won’t forget me… I’m going to have to go now, so goodbye.” I pressed end call, and then held it to my chest, my voice was crumbling into the voice, and my tears too.
“I’ve got two glasses with our name on them.” I heard, and I turned around and looked at Josh, smiling.
We sat for an hour before we even touched the whiskey, letting the stars fall helplessly into the lake. I saw his white washed face drip with sadness, and it make me long for death I didn’t know was possible.
“We should probably do it now” he picked up the bottle, poured a glass for himself and a glass for me, dropping a white pill into his drink, and then another into mine. “Cheers” he spoke, and clinked glasses with me as the pill fizzed, we pulled the whiskey restlessly down our throats.
“How long?” I asked.
“About 20 minutes” he spoke.
I felt calm, considering my ending was coming soon, I was relaxed.
I had slept for the past day, not wanting to face my reality. The boys had left me alone. Perrie had been in once or twice to bring me a drink, but I’d mostly drowned three bottles of whiskey, so I was hydrated.
I picked up my phone, and saw texts and calls from different numbers. One voicemail told me that it would either be important, or someone wanting me to call them back for a free cash prize.
I crawled back in the covers, and closed my eyes pressing the phone to my ear.
“Hey… It’s me.” I quickly sat up, hearing her voice made me fluttered, “I just wanted to to let you know, that I’m going now. I’m down by a lake, and I’m with Josh, and it’s a long story.” I let her voice fill my ears, and I imagined her face, her tears would of stained it, and her red lips would be pale. “I..er… I don’t know what to say, in about three minutes, I won’t hear your voice again, and you’ll be left with nothing but this message, me and Josh are going to kill each other,” I sank, and my heart burst, I had fallen apart. “So, er, say goodbye to guys for me…. I’m sorry… I-I had so many things that I wanted to say, but they just don’t want to come out. I guess, I just need you to promise you won’t forget me… I’m going to have to go now, so goodbye.”
I dropped the phone to the floor. And froze for a while, everything I had was gone. I quickly reached for it, racing to see what time she called. That call was 6 hours ago. She’d be long gone. It doesn’t take 6 hours to top yourself, if that’s how they did it.
I couldn’t process the idea that she wasn’t breathing right now. I couldn’t handle the fact that she was lay on a muddy path somewhere with no expression, that her voice wouldn’t touch my ears again. It was like when she died the first time, but this time it was worse, because she did it herself. The first time, she was killed, she was taken from me, and I got no goodbye, and I’d take that again, because that time she came back to me. This time, she had willing destroyed herself, she had taken her own breath, she had called me to let me know, I got a goodbye.
I opened the door, and travelled down the stairs slowly, looking around the swirling room, and I stumbled into the living room. Sweat dripped from me, mixed with salty tears, I was covered. I looked at the boys all gathered around, they stopped every action and looked at me.
I placed the phone on the table, pressed play, and then fell helplessly against the wall.
It’s me… i’m with Josh…in about three minutes… kill each other… say goodbye to the guys… you won’t forget me…. goodbye.
All eyes turned to me, “When did you get that?” I heard Harry’s voice, his head had fallen into his hands, and he was crying.
“Six hours ago” I grumbled, my own terms hadn’t yet stopped.
“Are you sure that-…” Liam nudged Louis, knowing that I could barely talk.
“She’s dead” Harry muttered, and stood up, his eyes were red, and his skin was white, veins in his neck ready to burst, he launched his fist into the wall, and screamed “She’s dead!”, and then he fell, like a child he fell to the fall, and his oversized legs were pulled close to his chest.
The man had fallen apart. For the next ten minutes, he would only mutter, “She’s dead.”
None of us moved for three hours. We all sat in silence, letting the room grow dark around us. Niall sat sniffling to himself. Harry’s legs were pulled to his chest. Liam and louis had their backs to the couch, and Liam tried to fight tears away, trying to be strong for us all, Louis let them in though, and a tidal wave fell.
Then in a dramatic burst of light, my phone lit the dark room up, and it was from an unknown number.
“Answer it” Harry whispered, not moving.
I picked it up.
“Hello?” I sighed.
“Zayn? I’m Ashton, and you need to be at the airport tomorrow at ten.”
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m a friend of Brooks, she’s coming home.” he spoke.
“Is this some kind of joke? She’s dead.” I seethed.
“No, she isn’t. Ricky however, he is.” the boy told me.
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because i’ve got his blood all over me right now, be there, tomorrow at ten, Brook is coming home” he told me and hung up the phone.
“Who was it?” one of the boys said, but I could decide who.
“I’m not sure, but Ricky’s dead, and Brook is coming home.” I looked around and the confused faces.
“What?” Liam asked, exchanging glances with me, “She’s dead.”
“We’ll have to wait until ten tomorrow to find out what the fuck is going on” I explained.
I wanted to believe it, with Ricky dead, and Brook alive, most of problems would evaporate, however, a very big problem then walked in.
“Do you boys want to go out?” Perrie smirked.
SO I AM BACK. It’s been a while, but I am so excited to be writing again. Do you like the update?!