Brook’s Pov - Flash forward.
I held his body in my arms. Covered in dirt. Muck, and a whole load of other shit.
His body was loosing heat quickly, and I sighed, crying, not being able to breath. I ran my fingers through his thick brown hair.
“Please… Please… Don’t” I whispered, shivering on the cold bathroom, floor with the poor, broken, dying boy in my arms, “Don’t… Go” I cried harder into his chest.
His body was heavy, but i didn’t care as I lost feeling in my legs, because my heart was aching as I felt the life leave my dearest friend in my arms.
He rolled his head to look at me, and I offered a weak and cracked smile, with chapped lips, and pale cheeks. He rose his hand, to touch my warm and flustered skin, “I’m okay” he croaked.
“Don’t sit here and say you’ll ready to leave” I cried at him, weeping as I could feel him leaving me, he just breathed heavily. “Don’t talk, your going to be okay” I touched his face, stroking his cheek.
“I’m sick of being okay” he struggled to talk, “I’m am ready, Brook, the world is too crule” he spoke, and a tear left his eye. “And… I just can’t do it anymore” he shook in my arms, and closed his eyes.
So I shook him, “Stay a little longer” I begged him, crying letting my tears fall and die on his cheeks. “Stay with me” I sobbed.
“With you?… I liked it. I was good a loving you. I was alive.” he whispered.
“You can love me again, just stay!” I shouted at him, with came out more desperate.
He reached up to my face, and touched my cheek softly, smiling lightly, which made it all hurt more, as the blood poured from him.
“Just close you eyes, You’ll be alright” he told me in a low cracking voice, and I smiled at how sweet this was, but how bitter I would now and forever be, “I love your smile…” he passed taking heavy breaths.
“Please, don’t…Don’t say another word” I cried, pressing my fingertips to his lips. “I’m scared of not being with you…” I cried again wondering where the hell Zayn and Niall were with the help that was needed to save him.
“Close your eyes, and remember everything is going to be okay, because I love you” he whispered, and gulped.
“Don’t tell me to close my eyes, cause if I do, I have to open to a world that your not going to be in” I shook my head at him.
“Close your eyes” his eyes closed, and he took a breath. “Lay with me” he spoke, and I sighed, setting his body down to lie beside him, and he took my hand, squeezing it tightly, as tight as he could, “I can die like this” he smiled.
I lay crying, and looked up at him kissing his lips. Laying back down beside him, “I love you, I knew it the minute that I met you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to see. I am sorry I broke your heart. I’m sorry I ruined you” I cried.
“My darling, you my only reason to stay” he whispered, as we lay together clutched in his blood.
“I felt him die. It was like the world had stopped moving, and I had lost him, I’d lost myself. I wish I could sit and say that I am okay, and that i’m glad he is is now to. But I want to selfish, I wish he had stayed. There is so much pain, you know?
There are so many things I’d of given him, so many words I never got the chance to say. After seeing him die, death doesn’t scare me. A life without him does. And we only realise how much someone means to us, when they aren’t with us. Maybe if I live long enough, I will forget him.
I know I was the reason he was so sad. - Everything he was black, and we didn’t realise it, but he turned his wrists red so the world wouldn’t seem so dark.
The reason he hurt every day, and had a gaping hole in his chest. But when he died, he looked so happy. He looked like he did the day I first kissed him, the time that I loved him. I don’t know what the point of living is now, when it feels like I am already dead. But I will say this, if you die tomorrow, is there anything you wish you had said?
I wish I had told him, it wasn’t his fault, but I didn’t. Now he is gone and I can’t change the fact that I told him to leave, that the world would be a better place without him, I never said sorry, I just kissed him and told him I loved him… that isn’t ever going to be enough.
He was waiting for the sadness to kill him. But it didn’t, I did. I’ve still got his shirt, and this stupid scarf I gave him, and now I can’t… I can’t…” I stopped, and ran away, I couldn’t do it. Talk about him anymore, and the utter adoration I had for him, because he was dead, and somehow I was still living.
End of flash forward. - Brook’s Pov
I woke up in his arms. Looking around the room as it spun slightly, I groaned in pain sitting up. “Darling?” I heard, and I looked down to shirtless Liam, who propped himself up on his elbows.
“I think you mean Angel, don’t you?” I smirked at him, and he laughed slightly, at me, but then I remembered. I was no longer drunk, or on medication. I was 100% sober, and remember my lips on Liam’s, as I thought of it I ran my fingertips along my lower lip.
“Your mad if you think I will call you that in public” he spoke, getting out of bed, pulling on a shirt over his shorts.
“I never asked you to” I say, and look away as a crimson blush rises in my cheeks.
“Come on, it’s already noon, we should go downstairs, I think they might already be awake” he told me.
“Liam… You won’t say anything will you, about last night?” I asked shyly.
“Ashamed?” he asked me, walking over to help me up.
“Don’t be ridiculous, if I was ashamed I would say myself, it’s because I am not ashamed… that… I don’t want to tell him” I say, now feeling guilty which is practically the same thing, but I did not wish to speak of it.
“Your not going to tell Zayn?” he asked me, I shook my head sadly, feeling more ashamed. “This reminds me of the time I asked you to have an affair with me” he smirked, snaking his arm round me.
“This isn’t an affair” I told him as we stood up, and he helped out of his room.
“What would you call it?” he asked me.
“I kissed you when I was drunk, and sure maybe I don’t know how I feel about you, and sure maybe you had to see me naked yesterday, but we didn’t do anything Liam, we didn’t-…” he kissed me harshly, and cupped face, laying me back down on the bed, and though my back ached and so did my hips, his lips were soft, and it felt to good care.
His lips traced down my neck, and the guilt rode through me but with masked by the pleasure of his hands around me, and his tongue tracing up my neck. “Fuck, Brook” he moans, rolling his hips against me.
“Liam, we… shouldn’t…” I speak but stop, as he hovers above me with dark brown eyes.
“Shouldn't we?” he whispered, and smiled down at me with a perfect smile.
“No, you shouldn't” I heard a low voice, turned my head slowly dread filling me as I heard a voice at the door, I pushed Liam off me, and sat up quickly.
“Harry!” I say in a hushed shocked tone, and he had his arms folded tightly across his chest, making his muscles pop, and a frown pressed against his face.
“What the fuck are you doing with him, Brook?” Harry spoke and walked over to me, and I sighed and walked over to me, pushing Liam back further, who let Harry do this.
“Harry, this isn't what it looks like” I try and defend myself.
“It's what it looks like? Brook, he's half naked, and lay on top of you!” he shouted.
“Mate, keep your voice down, Zayn is right down the hall” Liam stepped forward, with a stern grin on his face.
“Don't... Zayn is a good guy he doesn't deserve this!” Harry snarled at him, and then Liam looked down at me, and nodded for him to leave, to let me talk to Harry.
“Your being such a hypocrite, Harry” I spoke.
“What?” he asked me.
“It's fine for you to kiss me when I am with Zayn, and make me fall in love with you, but its fine for Liam to do it?” I spoke.
“No, it's not fine for you to do this Brook!” he shouted at me.
“You don't think I know that!” I say, and go to stand up, but struggle and fall back down. “I know that” I whispered to myself, and felt tears well up in my eyes.
“I don't want you to this Brook, but Zayn has been hurt enough by you, and me and everyone living under this roof, have you ever thought that he hurt you because you hurt him ten times more, and it kills him to hurt you Brook, which is why he hasn't ever meant to do it!” he told me, angrily.
“Nothing is going on, we didn't do anything Harry, we just stayed in here last night, I mean... I didn't come into the room to make him to do that, I just... I don't know, you know better than anyone that I find it hard to say no” I say softly, sadly, and broken.
“Brook, I love you more than any one else in this world, and I know what is best for you, and it still kills me to say it, but the best thing for you is Zayn, its never going to be Liam or Me, or any other man that falls in love with you, its always going to be him” he tells me.
“So all those times you told me, you were better for me, you were just lying to me?” I ask.
“No... Shit... Brook, just stop fucking his friends, its going to make things worse, and it isn't any good for you!” he told me, sitting down beside me clutching my hands.
“I don't want this, I don't want any of it... I don't know why I ever considered you or Liam, or anyone other than him” I spoke.
“That's what I am trying to say, Brook” he sighed.
I took his hands, “Look, just don't tell Zayn, okay? Liam... Liam just helped me remember who I was before all of this, and I don't know I liked it, I liked being me, feeling like I was doing something right for a change” I spoke.
“You always do everything right, Brook. You always have, its the people around you that do the wrong things” he told me.
“I shouldn't be so tempted though” I sighed.
“Look, I wouldn't tell Zayn, it's choice to tell him what did or didn't happen, just don't hurt him Brook” he told me.
I smiled up at him, and laughed. “I remember a time when it was Zayn you were having this conversation with, maybe you should have been having it with me all along” I tell him, and he smiled reaching for my cheek.
“Your going to be okay, it is all going to be okay” he told me.
I smiled, and tugged a the scarf in his hair, “Still got that piece of tat huh?” I smirk, and he nodded, taking my hand down.
“I don't ever take it off” he smirked back.
I sat upstairs later that night, considering everything Harry had told me, and the way that I had felt. I needed to see Daniel again and soon. - I needed his guidance, for him to tell me how I was feeling and how to get over it.
“Brook, are you going to come down stairs?” I saw Zayn pop up, and I gulped, and nodded slowly, he walked over slithering his arms around me to help me down. “You’ve been quite today” he comments as we walk to the bottom of the stairs.
“Yeah, hung over” I tell him, and he nodded at me.
“You didn’t even drink that much, and besides, I thought you were trying not to drink” he spoke with a sense of anger in his voice, and I sighed.
“I am, just a slip, besides, it was a party” I tell him.
“I know, but you can’t use that as an excuse all the time” he told me, raising his eye brows at me.
“Look, Zayn stop, there is nothing wrong with wanting a drink every so often, I can like a drink, and I can enjoy myself, with or without it, but right now it just helps, so please, just get off my case, okay?” I asked him, and he gulped looking into my pothole eyes.
“You’re not yourself” he told me, and brushed a blonde curl from my face, and I moved back from him.
“Maybe this is who I am, I just lost myself for a while” I spoke.
“No, there is something different about you” he told me, and let me balance on the crutch that was lying at the foot of the stairs.
“No, there isn’t, I am just that girl you met in a beaten up old pub, the girl that you changed, the only reason I do all these things, is because it is what you made me into” I tell him, not in a harsh way, meaning to hurt him - though I know that is what had happened - I just wanted him to understand, that people change, and they don’t do it on their own.
“I’ll be outside” he spoke, and kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger, and that cherry smell escape his mouth, and I sighed, knowing I had hurt him.
“Zayn” I sigh, and run my hand down his arm, until it finds his hand, and he tangles his fingers with mine, and regret fills me, and painful, invisible marks of Liam’s lips cover me, and I feel guilt swallowing me up.
“No, Don’t, I just want to be alone, okay? It’s not you, I just need to think” he spoke.
“Well, it is me” I say to him.
“You’re completely right, Brook, I made you into this…” he spoke, and looked me up and down, and I looked down. “I broke you, I got you into this mess, and it’s so scary to think one day all of this will end, because what will we do when it’s over, will you have given me all the love you could possibly give me, or will you leave, and never come back because your soul is so broken even the look of me sickens you” he sighed.
“I’d never get sick of looking at you, Zayn” I told him.
“You might not think it, but a lot will change when all this is over” he spoke.
“Yes, and not just on my half, you might not love what I have become, you might hate the way I look, and all the scars, and the way I say your name as I will have cried for you so many times” I tell him.
“Your scars are what makes you beautiful” he told me, “I just hate what I have changed you into, you were so innocent and pure, and now you’re… you’re a hallow shell of the girl you once were” he spoke, and looked overly emotional at his own words.
“And you find it hard to love the new me?” I say more a question than a statement.
“I do. I find increasingly hard, I mean you never exactly needed me, you could always fight your own battles, but now your fighting mine too, and I don’t like that, I want to look after you, and keep you safe, not the other way around. I have been so close to letting you go Brook, to letting you be with Harry, or any other boy, who is better than me, who can but a bandage over your cuts and maybe make you whole, or close enough, and then every time I think of not having you in my life, I literally break into a million pieces” he told me, and turned around, so he could hide his face.
“I changed you too, I destroyed you” I tell him, hobbling forward, thinking back to all the lies I had told him, all the times I kissed someone else, lay with someone else, and thought of someone else.
“You destroyed me? If you destroyed me, then you destroyed me in the most beautiful way, and when you finally leave, everyone is going to understand why they name storms after people” he told me, and I smile softly.
“Why are you so set on the fact that I will leave?” I ask him.
“That’s how it works, everything good leaves” he explains.
“I’ve stayed through this all, what makes you think I wouldn’t stay now?” I sigh.
“Because you’ve remembered who you are, so at some point you’re going to see how stupid you’ve been” he says.
“Are you two going to join us?” Liam poked his head around the corner, and I gulped looking between the two boys.
“Yeah, we will” Zayn spoke, though all I wanted to do was disappear upstairs, and lay with Zayn and show him I was here to stay, and that no other thought was in my mind but him, and our future, but their was one creeping thought in my head.
Liam as he began to speak, “Sorry to spilt up the romantic scene, Angel” Liam spoke, as Zayn patted heavily into the room, and I looked to Liam.
“You’re not sorry” I say, he smirked at me with half a smile. “Don’t Liam, we aren’t doing this, what happened this morning was a one off” I put a hand on his chest to stop him as he moves in closer.
“There must be some reason you haven’t told Zayn” he spoke.
“How do you know I haven’t?” I say casually.
“Because my face is still in tact, there’s no crime in liking it, Brook… in liking me” he purred in my ear, lingering, ready to pounce the moment Zayn put one foot wrong.
Who do we think dies?! Do we like how Zayn is feeling, and what is liam playing at with Brook, I am not sure how to feel rn xD COMMET PLEASE.