Last night I slept in the same bed as Zayn, though I couldn’t sleep. I stayed so close to Zayn, hearing his heart beat steadied my breathing.
Soon the sunrise woke up Zayn, but I wasn’t ready for his questions as to why my eyes were puffy and red, so I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, as he brushed his lips across my neck, and ran his hand through my hair, he sighed softly, and kissed my forehead again.
“I love you” he whispered, and I smile softly, but kept my eyes shut. He stood up, and the bed felt colder than it did before.
I heard Zayn open draws and close them, and then he left the room. I rolled over on my back, and opened my eyes. That boy was really in love with me, he told me all the time, even when he thought I couldn’t hear, when he thought I wouldn’t know, he told me in little ways, and I never listened, not until now, not until I was so close to loosing him.
I knew at any minute now things could change, Steve could turn up with a bomb, Dominic could kill any one of us.
This morning, I heard people come through the door- by people I meant James.
Last night I had stayed away from Flo and Tiff considering Liam and Louise entrained Tiff, and Flo was just making suggestive comments to Zayn.
I sat outside with Niall, and every so often Zayn would come outside and check on me. Niall was sat with a glass of whiskey, and though I wanted one, with Zayn checking on me I thought it best not to.
However so often, I would take a sip from Niall’s. The rest of the night, was spent with Niall, and then every so often James would come out, and he seemed to actually be getting on rather well with Niall.
However this morning, I didn’t know what I would find downstairs.
I got out of bed and pulled on a jumper over my current clothes, and I pulled my hair back, looking into the mirror and seeing my bruises and cuts, they were starting to heal, but they were still extremely noticeable.
I walked down the stairs, and heard the voices in the kitchen.
Walking past I see Louis and Tiff in the lounge and I see that she is sat on the couch in a pink silk, short dressing gown and Louis was stood beside her, and her hand ran over his arm, touching his tattoos and he smiled up at her, I rolled my eyes, I can’t wait until they leave.
I walk into the kitchen, and it only takes me seconds to then realise that Zayn is sat with Flo and she is giggling to him, and he smiles back at her but looks slightly uncomfortable, she brings herself closer to him, thrusting her chest in his face, and he doesn’t exactly walk away.
I looked out the window of the kitchen, and Niall and James are stood out side, and I couldn’t help but think - Niall is a good judge of character- is James really that bad?
Then a loud obnoxious laugh pulls me back, and I lock eyes with Flo.
“Do you want a coffee?” Liam asked me, and I pull my attention away from the slut and my boyfriend.
“What?” I asked him, and he pointed to his coffee cup, and I nodded to him.
“Ignore her” he told me.
“I want that bitch, and the one sat on my couch out of my house” I snap at him.
“We don’t get the choice” he told me, and handed me a cup of coffee.
“Who is Tiff in there with?” he asked me.
I raised my eyebrows, “No” I shook my head at him.
“What?” he asked me, and I sighed to him. Cutting him off before he began.
“Your getting a nice girlfriend, not her” I spoke.
“I was just asking” he defended.
“I have seen the way you and Louis were drooling over her, I want you to promise me your not going to let her get in the way of you and Louis” I told him.
“I’m not, she won’t be another Annie, I won’t let it ruin anything” he told me, and I sighed remembering Annie, and I didn’t like her either.
“Are you going to give Louis this lecture?” he asked me, sipping his drink, and I raised my eyebrows, that hovered over my bruised eyes.
“You think he would actually listen, now that is funny” I smirk at him, and he laughed back.
“You have a point” he smiled, and then glanced over my shoulder, and I saw Flo was too close to Zayn, leaning over in her silk, short gown.
“Could she be anymore promiscuous” I snapped harshly, and Liam smirked at me.
“Zayn was right, your cute when your jealous” he smirked at me, and I laughed a little slapping his arm.
James and Niall walked back into the room. “Morning” James smiled at me, and I give him a soft smile back.
“Hey” I give him a weak smile, and he walked over to me and hooked a finger under my chin, tilting my head to the light.
“That looks sore?” he spoke, as he ran his dancing thumb over my bottom lip where the cut was.
“Yeah, it is” I speak quietly, and breathlessly and he bore his brown eyes into mine.
I caught sight of Zayn over James shoulder, and he was frowning, and not wanting to point score I move back slightly, taking his hand from my face. But, part of me thought, it is so nice the other way around is it Zayn? However, trying to be mature I move backwards from him.
“What are are we doing today?” I asked him.
“Well, I though we could discuss action plans, I mean… these girls have some great ideas, they could teach you a thing or two Brook” James smirked at me.
“Really?’ I asked him sarcastically, and he cocked his head smirking.
“Do you need five minutes to yourself?” I heard Liam mutter to me with a smile, and I took a deep breath in a shook my head.
“I will be okay, do you still keep a gun with you?” I tease, and he laughed slightly at me.
“The draw behind you” he pointed, and I smirked, and then realised he was being serious, and I laughed again shaking my head.
“Brook, why don’t you make us all some food?” Flo cocked her head smiling sarcastically, and Zayn’s eyes danced around her exposed chest.
“Why don’t you get it yourself, you’ve already helped your self to other aspects of my life, clearly” I spoke, and turned to look at Zayn with slightly raised eyebrows.
“There’s no need to take that tone, I got told to make myself feel at home” she smirked, leaning back in her chair.
“Yeah, well, don’t get to comfortable” I snapped.
“Ladies, stop being petty” James stepped forward, I opened my mouth to speak, but Liam tugged me back a little bit.
“Stop” he whispered in my ear, some times I was thankful for Liam, he stopped me doing dangerous and stupid things, but sometimes he was a real pain in my ass.
I scowl at him, and then roll my eyes and turn to face the front.
“So here is the-…” James was cut of by a loud bang at the door, and everyone looked to each other.
“Brook, would you get that?” James smiled at me, and I looked back and Flo who had her curved lips, and wandering eyes placed near my boyfriend.
“My pleasure” I spoke. I turned to walk away from them and two the door, mutters started to form in the kitchen, and it felt like they were all waiting for me to leave.
I opened the door, and a familiar face stood there, and I felt an overwhelming feeling to cry, because I felt guilt and then I threw my arms around the person.
“Joe” I whispered, and his arms like elastic wrapped around me.
“Hey, stranger” he whispered back to me, I pulled back from him, and it felt so surreal.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, and he shrugged.
“I heard you moved here, I just wanted to see you again, I know everything was left in a bad way, but I just… I mean… I know you knew everything about Mia, but I still see you as a good friend” he smiled half heartedly.
“Come here” I spoke, and pulled him closer hugging him again.
“Missed me that much?” he asked me, and I smiled to him softly.
“Your probably going to be the only normal thing in my life right now” I tell him, and he smiled at me.
“Why?” he asked, with an ounce of concern in his voice.
I smiled softly, and went to his ear, “If I told you, I would have to kill you” I whispered, and he pulled back with half a smirk.
“Your serious aren’t you?” he asked me, and I nodded sadly.
“Hey, er, I should go back inside, but you can’t come in because the FBI are in there” I tell him.
“Your kidding?” he asked me, and I smiled softly, “No” I laughed.
“Give me a call” he told me, and I nodded smiling, and he hugged me once more.
“Please… just stay normal” I tell him, and he smiled lightly at me.
“I promise” he told me, and I grin, and bit my bottom lip.
“See you later” I tell him, and he dug his hands into his pockets and walked off.
I turned back inside, and closed the door behind me. I smiled lightly, the normality pulled me away from my new reality, and though I know I had hurt Joe, I know his life was destroyed, at least now he was fine with me.
I smiled lightly walking into the kitchen, “Who was it?” Zayn quickly asked.
“Just some door to door seller” I spoke, and he looked away.
I would tell him later, so instead of yelling at me in front of everyone, he could yell at me privately. “What were we talking about then?” I asked.
“Oh your not involved in this part” Tiff told me, and I rolled my eyes, and walked over to the fridge, seeing a carton of orange juice, and an empty door where wine should of been, and I closed the fridge instead and turned around composing myself.
“So why aren’t I involved?” I asked.
“Because your the most vulnerable one” he told me, and I raised my eyebrows.
“Vulnerable?” Offended my pitch increases.
“Your not quiet our level” Flo interrupted.
“Was I asking you?” I step forward, James stepped in front of me.
“Yet… your not there level yet, you will be when I am done with you though” he told me.
“I need some air” I step through all the people in my kitchen, and go outside slamming the back door.
I groaned and sat down on the patio steps, and held my head in my hands. If I had done things differently, would fate still of brought me here?
“That was Joe outside” I heard, and looked behind me, and saw Louis had stepped out, and I nodded looking away from him, until he came and sat next to me on the steps.
“How is he?” he asked me.
“He seems good” I smiled lightly.
“I still remember, it all you know? The way she looked, how she felt, everything” he shuddered.
“Your a good person Louis, don’t let that play tricks on you again” I tell him, and he shook his head.
“I’m sorry” he uttered, and I sighed, and leant against him slightly.
“Want one?” he asked me, pulling a box of cigarettes out of his pocket, and I looked back making sure no one else had joined the party.
“As long as you don’t tell Zayn” I smirk lightly, and he smiled handing me one, and lighting the end.
We sat there in silence with each other, neither one of us talking to each other, both enjoying the silence.
“I hate to lecture you Louis, but I know you won’t listen anyway… do me a favour and don’t get with Tiff” I say to him.
“What makes you think I would, you know me, it’s a quick fuck and then I am done”
“I wish I could believe that” I tell him, and he smiled lightly turning his face from me.
“Then just believe it” he whispered, blowing away smoke.
“I can’t stand the way Flo is with Zayn and he is doing nothing about it” I sighed.
“Zayn hates the way you are with James” he told me.
“But the difference is I tell James no” I spoke, and he chuckled lightly.
“It beats me how you two have lasted so long, considering how dysfunctional you are” he told me, and I nodded in complete agreement.
“I don’t understand it myself” I whispered, and he laughed to me lightly.
“I hope you two really do work out” he told me.
“It’s not looking good though, is it?” I asked, knowing he will give me an honest opinion.
“I don’t know, but if you keep fighting, if you really want it, then you’ll get it, you’ll get what you want with Zayn, you get out, what you put in” he told me, and I smiled lightly at him.
“How is it, you always know what to say?” I asked him, and he shrugged.
“I don’t, I just hope you listen” he smiled at me, and I smiled lightly and nudged him softly.
“What do you think they are talking about?” Louis asked me.
“Something that I am not qualified to do” I spoke and smirked.
The door opened and Zayn stood there, and he opened his mouth to speak, and I blew smoke out of my mouth, and he cocked his head.
“Louis, give us a minute” Zayn spoke, running his hand over his stubble.
“Remember you get what you give” Louis told me, and I nodded. Tapping the end of my cigarette as Louis was replaced with Zayn.
“What’s this?” Zayn asked as soon as Louis closed the door.
“I just didn’t want to be in there, she was throwing herself at you, and your all treating me like I can’t do anything, like i’m invisible” I spoke.
“I wasn’t on about that… I was on about this” he told me, and took the cigarette from my hand, and breathed it in himself.
“Stress” I spoke.
“Brook, this isn’t you, just stop” he spoke.
“I am meant to be the broken one, remember?” he told me, and I sighed looking to the floor.
“Is it so wrong that I want to have a cigarette, is it so wrong to do things like that, have my own escape” I tell him.
“They were my escape, from Lola, and my family, but then I met you, and you were my escape” he told me, and I wanted to cry and just hold him tell him, I love him, and that I couldn’t ever let him go, but no words really left my mouth of that kind.
“Let me be your escape” he muttered into my neck, and I gulped.
“Remember, I told you, you were my demon?” he asked me, and I turned and hummed a yes, remembering the letter that broke my heart. “I figured it out” he paused, “I stayed with you, because my demons played well with yours” he told me, and I smiled at him softly.
“You have demons Brook, and so did I… let me help you, like you helped me” he told me, and I smiled at him again, and sighed.
“What’s the deal with that Flo?” I asked him changing the subject.
“What about her?” he asked me, and I sighed.
“You were staring at her, and she was flirting with you, and well… I stopped James, why didn’t you push her away?” I asked him.
“Because you should be smart enough to know, no matter how many different girls may throw them selfs at me, I only see you” he told me, and brushed my hair back from my eyes, and I smiled lightly.
I leant my head against him, he wrapped his arms around me, “I only see you” he told me, he whispered. “We are going to get through this aren’t we?” he asked me.
“I’m going to make sure of it” I smiled at him, and pressed my lips against his.
“Oh, and Brook?” he asked me, and I pulled back, grinning warmly at him. “Don’t lie to me” he frowned at me.
“What?” I ask.
“At the door, it was Joe, you think I am really going to let you go anywhere alone when people like Steve are out there to get you” he told me, and I look down.
“I’m not mad” he whispered.
“I just, need you to tell me what is going on, because your going to get hurt in this world, and I am the only one that is going to save you” he kissed my forehead.
“Your the only one I want to save me” I mutter.
I didn't sleep all night.
I kept her beside me, and I held her close.
So scared that the fragile girl in my arms would fall apart, and be ripped at the seems. I knew she was awake and scared, and I heard her silent sobs, so loud.
That only made me hold her closer. The girl in my arms. I don’t think she realised how much she actually meant to me, how much I needed her.
We lay awake together all night, and I knew she was awake, and she was unaware of my restlessness, but it was nicer that way, laying in silence, her in my arms. If only it could of stayed that way forever.
That girl, the girl that now turns to liquor, for pain relief, and the girl that turns to cigarettes as an escape.
That girl was broken in more ways than one, and I wouldn’t stop until the culprit paid, but at some point along the way. I realised- around about 3am- It was no one’s fault but my own. I was the culprit, the boy that broke the pretty girl.
It was me that destroyed her.
Favourite and least favourite character? I promise things are going to get better, please comment so I know people are reading! LY!