Waking up was hard. Waking up and facing the truth of last night. The truth being that i had smiled a lot more in less than 24 with Harry, than I had with any other person. I felt two heavy arms lay on top of me, and soft snores purred into my ear. The white sheets surrounded us like sand, and I was warm in the home of his arms.
I turned over and face him, he had a light bit of stubble growing, and his pink lips were shining, and looked too kissable. His hair was a perfect mess, much like him. I smile and brush a strand back from his face, and let my fingertips linger on his jaw line, for a moment I freeze as he stirs in his sleep, but he soon settles back down. I then realise what I am doing, and drag myself away from him with a heavy heart.
Why did it still hurt, and get a little be harder every time I let him go? Was it because I was stronger than the time before, which only made me want him more? Or was it the opposite that I was so weak, that the thought of living with out him, tore my heart out and left it scattered on the floor for him to pick up, what ever it was. It didn’t get easier to leave him.
I sat with my legs hanging over the edge of the bed, the clock read ten o’clock. But it felt much early, the silence feel across Vegas at this time, as everyone was in bed from drinking to much. We had a small amount of whiskey left at the bottom the bottle, and it lay on the hotel floor. I stood up, and walked over to close the window, and outside it was warm.
“Morning” I heard, and I turned and looked at Harry, who watched my movements carefully. Running a hand through his messy hair, and I smile.
“Good morning” I say, and sit down on the small chair by the window, “You seemed to sleep well” I spoke, and he hummed a yes.
“How about we go out for breakfast?” he asked me, and I smile nodding at him, he stood up and took of his shirt, and began to unbuckle his trousers.
“Harry” I gush.
“What, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before?” he smirked devilishly at him.
“It’s nothing I should see again” I smirk back, and stand up adverting my eyes. “I am going to get ready in the bathroom” I tell him picking up my bag with clothes in and he chuckled to himself.
After we are both ready we stand around for a moment. Harry laying on his phone on the bed, and me looking out the window, admiring the view. “Did you call Zayn?” Harry asked me, and I look over shaking my head, and picking up my phone.
“I forgot, I will now” I say. “Isn’t it like 2am there?” I ask him, and he nodded softly.
“I don’t think they will be asleep though” he told me, and I nod. Pulling out my phone, dialling his number.
“Hello?” I heard a low gruff voice.
“Zayn, it’s me” I tell him, and muttered for someone to budge over. “Interrupting something?” I ask, a little concerned who he is with, though I couldn’t really talk, as I look over to the bed, Harry smiles at me.
“No, it’s just Niall, we are in the back of a cab, and a little bit drunk” he spoke, and I could tell he was drunk, and smirking.
“Having a good time?” I ask him.
“Yeah, Babe” he told me. He never called me babe, he wasn’t a little bit drunk, he was wasted. “Why didn’t you call when you landed?” he asked me.
“I was tired, we got to the hotel, and practically just went to sleep” I say.
“Oh” was all he said.
“Well, we are going out for breakfast” I say, hoping to get some kind of emotion out of him, but there wasn’t much point whilst he was like this.
“Okay, call me soon, yeah? Okay? Sure… Shut up Niall…” i heard Zayn mutter.
“Zayn? I can’t hear you?” I say, checking the signal.
The call ended.
“Everything okay?” Harry stood up, looking concerned. “Brook?” he persisted.
“Yeah, Zayn and Niall were getting drunk, something about being in a cab, I don’t know where they are going” I spoke.
“Seriously? They are going to get attacked in under a week, and they are getting pissed?” he frowned.
“They are entitled to a little freedom and time away from all of this, just like we are… I thought we were treating this as a holiday anyway styles?” I smirk, and pick up my bag, and slide on my toms.
“We are” he told me, and grabbed the keys of a car he had rented for whilst we were out here. “Breakfast and then were too?” he asked me.
“Can we go to the beach?” I ask him.
“Yeah” he told me, “Then we can go to a bar or something?” he suggested, and I nod smiling at him.
We got outside and it was warm. Not overly hot, but warm. I smile as we step into the roofless car Harry had purchased. “This is weird” I smirk, and look down and he looked across at me.
“Why?” he asked.
“It’s like when we ran away, staying up late and talking, and going out the next day, it’s just odd” I say, not sure I am liking it too much or not enough.
“Who says we can’t live in the past for just one more day?” he asked me, and I grin over at him, thinking back to when it was just me and him.
I realised in that time we were away that, obsession was the key flaw that we had. We loved to much, and gave our hearts away to easily. When things didn’t go the way we had intended, our possessive curiosity came out, and it had the power to ruin everything we could ever dream of working towards.
So that’s exactly what we did, we sat in a cafe for breakfast, and drank coffee eating eggs with something else, and then we paid and left, and we drove around for a bit seeing sights, and wasting away the morning.
We got to the beach at around 1:30, and it was packed. I smile at Harry as we walk up to the tide and let the water wash over our feet, it was little that I knew in a few months time I would be on this same beach with such different circumstances.
Flash forward. - No one’s Pov
Zayn watched her from a distance, admiring the girl that would always keep part of his heart in smile, and a little part of her was in his soul. Her smile was brighter than the falling sun, and her skin still looked so soft to the touch.
“How does it feel?” she turned and smiled at him.
“How does what feel?” he cocked his head, taking just one step closer to her.
“Being married” she smirked, and walked back over to him, and sat down on the sand with him.
Watching the sun in the sky falling over the horizon. “I don't know, I have only been married for a few hours, it's not sunk in” he told her with an impish grin.
End of Flash forward.
“You want a bottle of water?” he asked me, and I nod slowly, and walk over to the little hut which was selling drinks. “Here” he told me, handing it to me, because he had to pick his phone up which was ringing loudly.
“Hello?” he asked, and then a warm glow appeared on his face, but he contradicted himself, by looking my way longingly. “Hope, it’s good to hear your voice” he told me, and I offer him a kind smile, it was okay for him to be happy.
Even if it hurt me.
“Yeah, she is here” he told me, he was right, she did talk about me. “We are just at the beach, we’ve been out all morning” he told me, and he rolled his eyes softly. “No, you don’t have to worry” he told her, she was clearly worried about what he had done with me. “Shouldn’t you be asleep, it’s like really early over there” he spoke. “Oh you’ve just woke up because Zayn and Niall came home?” he turned to me, trickling the information to me.
I sighed, it would be about 6 in the morning, and they had only just found their way home, where had they been, what could of possibly of kept them out so late.
“Okay, well I am going to have to get going, my phone is low on battery, I will call you later” he spoke, “Yeah, you too” he spoke.
“You couldn’t tell her you loved her in front of me?” I ask, and he nodded softly.
“It didn’t feel right” he spoke, and I laugh softly shaking my head. “Anyway, enough of that, come on, we are meant to be in the past and if I remember rightly, you didn’t know Hope, I didn’t know Hope… let’s forget about Hope” he told me.
I had forgot what Hope was along time ago.
“Maybe it’s best if we just go back the hotel” I say, feeling guilty for enjoying myself too much. “It’s been a long day, and I am still a little jet lagged” I tell him, and he shook his head.
“No, that isn’t the reason, I know, are you going to tell me what is really wrong?” he asked.
“I just don’t want to fall into old habits” I tell him.
“Old habits, die hard” he told me, and I nodded in utter agreement. “You know, sometimes, I want to be bad, and I want it to be wrong, but I have to stop myself, and give up” he told me.
“You want to be bad?” I ask him.
“Bad with you” he told me, “But, you know, we can’t do that, we have to behave, we have to be good” he spoke, “But fuck Brook, the things I wish we could do wrong” he whispered to myself, and ran his fingers through his hair, like it hurt him to keep his eyes from me.
“Harry, what’s come over you you, this time yesterday you were all about how I can’t love you” I say, and frown, and he stood up a little straighter turning to me.
“You’re right, sorry” he spoke.
“You’re going to give me a complex” I smirk, trying to ease the situation.
“I know, sorry, sometimes I just say things and don’t think” he told me.
I nodded, and took his hand he smiled softly. “I can stretch so far Harry, you’ve got to give me the other half” I tell him, and he nodded at me.
“How do you do it, Brook?” he sighed as we walked down the white sanded beach.
“Be so strong, you’re not scared of anything that gets thrown at you” he told me, and looked in pure amazement at me.
“I am scared of everything, Harry. I am scared of what will happened tomorrow, I am scared of my own thoughts, I am scared of so much, I’m scared of loosing you and Zayn, I am scared of everything falling apart” I tell him.
“I had no idea” he spoke. “You know, when I was little, I used to keep my heart to myself, because my mum told me if you’re not carful someone is going to break it, so I put up these walls, and I remembered drawing my heart on a page and putting it in a shoe box, I was scared of giving my heart incase someone broke it…” he stopped, and looked to me.
“Your mum was right, I did break” I tell him.
“No, you did’t…. You’re the one who took it out of the box” he tenderly offered me his smile, and I squeeze his hand, as he hand squeezes my heart.
The morning rolled around which wasn’t surprising. I sighed as I remember stumbling in last night at six. Niall is lay face down in the bed beside me, and I groan, nudging him to wake up. I remember everything in images.
I remember sitting with Niall and the whiskey bottle at Brook’s grave for about two hours.
“I want it all with her Niall, I want all this to be over, and I want to marry her, I want her to have my children, and to love her for the rest of my life… so… so why now, now that this whole mess is almost over, does it feel farther away than ever” I had said to Niall, and I frowned remembering his response.
“Because we don’t know her anymore, pain chances a person Zayn. It changed her. She isn’t the same girl you fell in love with, she isn’t the same girl I grew up with, she changed. She hurt, so she put up he walls, and when into lock down” he had said.
It hurt me how right he was.
“I loved her, and I miss her, She saved me, Niall, and I didn’t even know it” I had said with dry tears rolling down my cheeks, and the brown paper bag pressed to my lips.
I looked down to Niall who had rolled over, and he looked over to me. “Fuck man” he rolled back over, “Let me sleep” he told me.
I remember after that we went to a bar, we just sat and spoke more. About her.
“I just wanted to protect her you know?” I say, and slam down my glass in the low lit room, which was too loud for privacy.
“You did all you could, you can’t always protect her” he told me.
“I should of though, protected her from all the monsters that ever tried to ruin us” I slur, and cover my face. “What am I supposed to do?” I whispered, and then slammed my fist down onto the bar. “What am I supposed to do?!” I shouted and threw the bar stool I was sitting on.
We got kicked out.
I stood up and pulled out my cigarettes and thought about what happened next, staring out the window with my head in my hands as it roared with pain.
We walked the streets with a bottle of vodka in each hand. “You think everything is going fine, and then one little thing goes wrong and then another and a couple fucking more, and everything falls apart” Niall told me, and I nodded.
“The harder you fight the more you sink” I spoke, and threw the glass bottle which was now empty onto the floor.
“You know you asked what you were supposed to do?” he asked me, and stumbled a little over his own feet, and I hummed a yes, he paused and took a mouthful of his drink. “You’re supposed to let go” he told me, and I sighed.
“How do I let her go? With out her I am nothing” I say, and sit on the steps of a beaten up old building, which looked like it had no inhabitance. - I remembered no being able to move, as the coldness hit me, and my mind felt numb, which vodka and thoughts of her.
I looked over to Niall, who was back snoring. Were his drunken words, things that I had needed to hear. But how could I? How could I live without the air in my lungs, with out my heartbeat, without every little thing she was to me. Which added all together, made all of me.
“I can’t say goodbye, not again” I whispered, and Niall stirred in his sleep.
It comes back, her voice.
I heard her sweet voice, which hurt more that I had forgotten it so quickly “Zayn, it’s me” she says, and she sounded happy, like she had had a good nights sleep, like being away had cleared her colluded mind. “Interrupting something?” she asked, as I hadn’t reply, but knocked Niall.
“No, it’s just Niall, we are in the back of a cab, and a little bit drunk” I spoke, smirking at Niall, and at her voice.
“Having a good time?” she said.
“Yeah, Babe” I spoke. Why did I call her, I don’t even remember why I called her that. “Why didn’t you call when you landed?” I ask, feeling a little empty as she had forgotten me.
“I was tired, we got to the hotel, and practically just went to sleep” she says, and I remember smirking, because she didn’t realise how bad at lying to me she was.
“Oh” was my reply.
“Well, we are going out for breakfast” she says, hoping for something, for anything.
“Okay, call me soon, yeah? Okay? Sure… Shut up Niall…” I mutter, as he mouths ‘Let go’.
“Zayn? I can’t hear you?” She tells me, and I look to the phone, and Niall who’s eyes are wide, and he holds his hand for me, and I place the phone in it. The call ended.
I looked over, and knocked Niall. “Hey, did you mean everything you said last night? About me and about Brook?” he asked me, and he frowned at the light.
“Zayn, I don’t remember anything, but you know drunk words are sober thoughts” he spoke, and stood up and I let him walk out of the room.
Leaving me with nothing but thoughts of what I needed to do, and what I wanted to do.
Flashforward. - Zayn’s Pov
“I have to go” she turned, but I grabbed her face and pulled her close, speaking to her soul.
“Tell me that you’ll never think of me again, Tell me that you’ll forget all about me, Tell me that you are going to go on and live a full and happy life with out me” I say as she cried as I spoke, then she shook me off, she picked up her bag, and wiped her tears with one of her hands.
I shook my head, and followed her out the door, as the taxi man took her bag, she turned around and looked at me as it rained hard, and I shook my head, she tried to smile, but mascara and teardrops masked it all.
That pain in my heart, and that ache in my stomach wouldn’t go. Not like her. They wouldn’t leave like she did.
I loved this update, especially the Niall and Zayn part. I got a little emotional. LY all, please, comment.