It was 2am, and everyone had gone to bed, but I couldn’t sleep, so in my long blue buttoned up t-shirt, I crept down the stairs, the alcohol had practically left my system now.
I sighed and looked at beer cans scattered across the floor, rolling my eyes stepping over them. I see the light in the kitchen in still on, and stood by the french doors, blowing smoke into the star lit sky, was Douglas.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were still awake, do you want me to leave?” I say, as he looks over at me, and smirked blowing away his smoke, he simply shakes his head and looks back outside to where he had done previously.
I turn on the kettle, and make my self a cup of coffee, I turned around to see that Douglas had come back in, “Sure you don’t want another drink?” he asked me, and I shook my head smiling, “I mean I can give you back the ones that I took from you earlier on” he walks over to the oak table and sits down, and kicks out a chair for me.
I walk over my my coffee in my hand, and sit down, and he leans back in his chair, his long blonde hair messy and wavy, utterly perfect, and he cocks his head and offers me half a smile.
“So, what’s your story?” he asks, leaning closer to me.
“Ricky hasn’t told you?” I raise my eyebrows at him, and he frowns softly, and shakes his head.
“I mean your real story, not how you ended up here” he told me.
“Er…I don’t really have one, everything in my life has kind of always been this with out me knowing, my parents weren’t really dead, and my brother tried to kill me, and someone who I fell in love with, promised to look after me, before I even knew he existed” I say.
“I didn’t ask for your life story, I just asked for your story”
“Well, sorry, but you are making little sense” I pull the mug of steamy liquid to my lips, “I don’t have a story of my own”
“I looked at you when you got into the car, and your eyes were red, everyone ignored it, what was wrong?” he asks, a sweeter tone smoothing over his voice.
“Er… My boyfriend, he broke up with me” I say, quickly bring the cup to my lips to silence myself.
“Oh, his loss, my gain, right?” he smirked up, rolling his lighter in his hand, and my eyes widen at his word.
“I don’t know what you’ve heard, or what kind of girl you think I am, but I loved him, I’m not going to jump into bed with first good looking man that looks my way” I say.
“Good looking?” he smirked, and he was obnoxious, a little like Zayn was when I had first met him. “Well doll, You aren’t to bad yourself” he stood up and tucked the chair in, in which he was sat upon. “See you in the morning, Brook” he told me, and walked out of the room.
It was only then that it hit me. ‘Doll’ he had called me, Doll. I wasn’t okay with that, it made my skin crawl and itch, as memories of that wore out name came back like lightening, and it hurt so much more reliving them, it wasn’t like they were real, it was like they were a nightmare and I was just there. The word sounded so much better from Zayn’s mouth, how he had spoken them in a hushed voice and his cherry lips had kissed them against my skin.
From Douglas’s lips they were bitter, and cold, and held a certain intimidation about them. I wouldn’t played by him, I wouldn’t be his ‘Doll’ or his plaything.
I can stand that. Being used by Zayn. But reliving it with a stranger, I could not do.
I take out the new phone which Ricky had given me, he had told me not to call Zayn off it, not for a while anyway, but it burnt in pocket, even with out his number in it. So I put in his number and save it, thinking that would make the irritation stop.
But it made it worse.
I text him. Am I allowed to say I miss you already? Was all I said to him, and hit send on it, placing it down on the table, I wait eagerly for a reply, and about three minutes later I get one.
I started missing you the second I hung up the phone. Was the reply. He didn’t have to guess to know the unknown number was mine, and his words broke my heart. But seconds later came another message, But its okay, we hurt, that just means we know that it was real.
I sighed, and was okay from that text. Okay was probably a lie, but it was real. I couldn’t get wrapped him, less than 24 hours after he just swore we weren’t going to be together for a long time.
Can we at least text? Like, let me ask you how your day was, and how you are feeling, how the others are? That kind of thing?
I wait for his reply, and tap nervously on the rim of the cup with my ring. A small ding that I almost miss as it coincides with my cup tapping, lights up my screen. Of course. In answer to your questions, my day has been dreadful, I feel dreadful, and the others… I am guessing they are also dreadful. May I ask you?
I smile, he knew I wasn’t asking him but only for his permission, but I like how he keeps talking. I imagine him sitting on the floor of our bedroom, near the window, and typing it with a little broken smile, as the moonlight catches his face.
Dreadful, huh? My day has been dreadful too, I feel better now talking to you, and the others? You don’t them but, but they are awfully nice. There is a boy like Niall, and two girls with an unhealthy resemblance to Louis and Liam.
I imagine his boyish laugh as he reads, and imagines it. This time the message is quickly back.
I agree, it’s a little bit better now I am talking to you. And really? Well, what about me? Is there anyone like me? Immediately I think of Douglas.
Yes. There is Douglas, but don’t worry. You’re a much better you than he could ever be. I hit send, and I smile as I wash my cup, drying my hands quickly and rushed as the phone is loud again.
Don’t fall in love with him, okay?
I fell in love with you, no some cheap knock off.
The conversation continued for about three hours, not talking about our feelings, but asked me about the house, and the people, and what I had done. I asked him the same, and I found he had wallowed in his own thoughts with Harry and got drunk, which made it easier to tell him I got drunk, and he couldn’t be mad.
I lay on my new un slept in bed, and it was odd, uncomfortable. But I fell asleep with my phone in my head, feeling closer to Zayn than I had in a long, long time.
I woke up, and looked over to the bed, I had fallen to the floor talking to Brook, and it was nice. Sweet, a reminder of what we could be like. Harry was sprawled out across my bed, and I sighed smiling softly, wishing he could look that peaceful forever.
“Hey, I wanted to apologise” I heard, when I turn back around to look at Harry who is now propped up on his elbows.
“What for?” I ask tugging another shirt of from my draw.
“Coming in here last night, and having you tell my your problems” he spoke.
“I am glad you did. I mean it helped” I said in a gruff voice, and he sat up and smiled at me, and it was a genuine smile. “You’re a good friend Harry, despite the fact you tried to fuck her, and were successful, but you are my friend” I tell him.
“Well, I will leave you too it” he told me, and he smiled at me getting up from the bed, standing up steading himself, on the dresser, taking in his appearance, and running a hand through his hair.
“Wait…” I say, and he turns to look at me with curious eyes, “Is Hope…” I pause and take in a breath, he waits for me to continue, “Are you together?” I ask.
“I don’t know, we are kind of undecided” he spoke.
“She’s a lot like Brook, I don’t know if you are aware of that” I stand up to look closer at him.
“I am really aware of it… she’s not like Brook is now, she’s like she was… before everything that happened, before she changed” he told me.
“Aren’t you worried, or weren’t you ever worried that I was going to …” he cut me off.
“No. I’m not worried you re going to love her if that is what you are wondering, I know you wouldn’t do that to me, I know how hurt you were by it, so I know you wouldn’t do it to someone else, no matter how great of a temptation it may be” he told me, and I nod slowly.
“I wish it was a temptation, but it isn’t” I shrug, and he chuckles softly.
“You know why that is right? Why you aren’t tempted by Hope?” he asked me, and I shook my head waiting for him to tell me why. “Because you can’t love someone who is like Brook, you only love the real Brook, and the only time she is ever real is when she is with you, not me or Liam or any one else, you” he offered me a warm smile, and happily I took it.
“Thank’s Harry” I say, and he nods exiting the room slowly, and lingering a moment longer, wanting this brotherly moment to continue, a little like I do, but after he has left my vision is blocked by the foul blonde girl at my door.
“Ugh, what do you want?” I ask Flo.
“Have you spoken to Liam yet?” she asked me, and I roll my eyes stepping away from her.
“Why should I believe any bullshit you tell me?”
“You shouldn’t. Which is why I am telling you to ask him. He isn’t going to lie to you, he wouldn’t, not now” she told me, and i push her out of my room not wanting to hear her, but knowing that soon enough I am going to have to go and talk to Liam.
I decided on now. After two minute of debating it with my self, I step out my room and walk into Liam’s room, where the door is open and he is lay on his bed watching TV with the window open, bringing in a soft wind.
“Liam?” I say, taking a step into the room, and he looked over sharply at me.
“What’s up?” he asked me, not really paying attention now he had seen that its me.
I feel fragile, and a little bit weak as I know he could ruin all the soft and delicate words me and Brook exchanged last night, but as he ignored me I feel my blood begin to boil as I imagine his hands being all over Brook.
“Are just going to stand there?” he pipes up.
“What happened the other week with you and Brook, don’t try and deny it either” I say sternly, and he quickly stands up shutting his TV off.
For a moment he was silent, and then he looked over at me and took in a breath. “How do you know, because she surely didn’t tell you” he seethed.
“She told me everything” I lie, “But I need to know what happened from you” I seethe at him, hoping this is going to lead him to be completely honest with me.
“Fine” he sighed, “Well, it was when you two had that fight, not a big one, just a bicker, she was sick of everyone treating her different because she couldn’t walk” he began, and I nod and he offered me to sit, I just stare at him, and he gulps to continue. “She asked me to help her… bath” he spoke and my skin crawled.
“Go on” I scowl at him.
“I undressed her, and I stayed with her, we just spoke, and I told her she was beautiful, because she looked like she needed to hear it, and she did… I am not going to lie to you, Zayn. I told her I wish she loved me, and she wouldn’t because of you or Harry” he told me, and now my skin itches at the mention of Harry.
“We went to kiss, and I pulled away, because I didn’t want to kiss the person she had become” he told me.
“You pulled away?” disbelief is in my voice, he nodded and carried on.
“I told her the next time she kissed me she would be like she was, and she only had to ask and I would run away with her, and it would be like it was went you all thought she was dead” the way he looked so calm as speaking made me wonder if he was sorry for it, sorry for doing that with my girlfriend, but he isn’t done.
“That night when we all got drunk, I stayed sober. You were upstairs with Louis, and everyone had left, except me and Brook, she asked if she could stay in my room, and she was completely intoxicated, so I agreed”
“Is there more?
“Not much” he now sighs, seeing the hurt in my eyes.
“She kissed me, and then the next morning I kissed her, and I lay her down, and we were going to… well, I will spare you the detail, but Harry walked in, and he was so mad” he told me.
Harry knew about this, and he hadn’t told me? After I had confided in him.
“Nothing happened after that, she told me she didn’t want to sleep with me or anything, because she had you”
“But she had considered, and that’s what makes it so sick” I snap at him, and he stands to say something, but I stop him, “What about all those months you two spent alone, huh?” I snap, “You said nothing happened, so why don’t I believe you?”
“Once” was all he uttered.
“Once?” I ask, and he nodded shamefully, “Please, do share it with me” I yell.
Flash Back - Liam’s Pov
I was sick of seeing her cry. Sick of her being this sad, though I had tried and tried nothing seemed to make it better. I sat beside her as she cried again, for the third night in a row, it had been two months since she ‘Died’ and all of this was hurting her more and more day by day.
“Brook, please…” I beg her.
“I’m sorry, I am really sorry” she spoke, “I just… I miss Zayn and Harry, and Louis’s jokes, and Niall’s laugh… everything, the only thing I have is you, and you don’t stay here, and I want you to, i want you to stay here for just one night” she begged me in return.
“I’ve stayed over before” I tell her, bewildered by her wild eyes.
“Not like I need you too, not like I want you, you stay on the couch, and I want you to stay in here with me, and I feel bad, and dirty for it, but Liam, you know as well as I do that you can’t keep your eyes to yourself” she exclaimed, and I wiped her tears with my thumb.
“It’s because you are outstandingly beautiful, that I can’t keep them to myself” And she smiles at my words.
“I don’t like having this feeling for you, Liam. I don’t know if its because I miss Zayn, or because I want you, but no matter which it is will you please stay the night?” she looked up at me with hot eyes, and I nod slowly.
“You’ve been looking at me to though, Brook. Staring at me, don’t make me feel bad for wanting to fuck you, I know you love Zayn, and he loves you, but when you look at me like that, a lick your lips when I walk by, it only makes it that much harder to say no to you” I mutter in a low voice, and her tears have stopped now, and she glares at me, with a hint of wonder in her eyes. “It makes it harder not to fall in love with you”
“Can we make a deal?” she asked, and I smirk remembering to the night in the hospital room, and I nod her way. “One night, the two of us, and you can say I love you as much as you want… and do to me whatever you want” she paused, as my fingertips cross her lips.
“What’s the catch?” I whisper, and she moves so she is on top of me, and her hand revels it’s way through my hair.
“No one can ever no, and we don’t talk about it, ever” she is hushed, and all those times she has been someone’s dirty little secret, and people have hid her from the world, I was so proud to say that I was her dirty little secret.
“Deal” I spoke, and instantly she crashed her lips against mine.
End of flash back.
“Now you know everything” Liam spoke to me, and looked finally ashamed of himself, but he had a glisten in his eyes,a s if he could remember his lips against her.
I felt sick with anger.
“I need to get out of here” I spoke.
“Zayn!” I heard, and I turned around and looked at him, and shook my head.
“Don’t” was all I said, and grabbed my keys leaving the house of broken memories.
It was so tense writing that part with Zayn and Liam. PLEASE COMMENT. LYSM.