I sit upstairs with Harry, throwing things into bags, and clearly myself of this place. Again. “Are you going to anger pack for the rest of the day?” Harry asked me.
“They can’t just keep sending me away when danger turns up, I don’t know if they have noticed but I am pretty much wanted by everyone, they can’t protect forever” I snapped.
“Well, the flights are booked, we are going to Vegas” he spoke.
“Vegas? We can’t be expected to go an a real vacation whilst all this is happening, Harry!” I yell. “If you want me to just sit on a beach in Vegas, with a cocktail in either hand, that isn’t what is going to happen” I snap.
“I didn’t book Vegas for us to just hide there, and party, I booked it because its a big place, with big parties, and something different happening every moment, and if they got a tip that we were there, they wouldn’t be able to find us” he explains.
“I am sick of hiding Harry” I tell him.
“You’re not hiding, you are moving, you are not getting caught, we have all lost you Brook. At some point we have lost you, and we hated it, we can’t loose the best thing in our lives” he says and sits beside me.
“I’m not the best thing in their lives, I am just a train wreck, and they are the only survivors” I spoke.
“I hate hearing you say things like that” he spoke, “I know I said I wouldn’t… love you, but I still do, and you know that, and when you hear the person you love the most, speak so little of themselves, it hurts you too” he frowned at me.
“Don’t bring that up, love. Who even knows if it’s real, who even says what it is, maybe it is all just a delusion, maybe, we are all just puppets for some kind of greater good, and this ‘love’ that we have had, and have lost, wasn’t love at all” I say.
“I remember, when you had so much hope, and you believed in love more than you did anything else, so what changed? Huh? What made you so pessimistic, about the world around you, you got Zayn back, you have friends that care for you, if anyone should be pessimistic it’s me Brook. I’m the one that got nothing out of all this, I lost you” he spoke.
“I lost the one good thing, that the world spat at me, and you have the nerve to sit there and feel sorry for yourself, and your own mistakes, it’s me that should hurt, because whilst I was busy loving you with my entire being, you were loving someone else, so don’t… don’t sit there and say you don’t know if love exists, because you do know, you know what you have with Zayn, and and what you may of had with me, you know that was real” He spoke, pouring his heart out all over my bedroom floor, “I’ll be down stairs, come down when you’ve seen sense” he sighed, and stood up leaving me wit his heart, once again.
I continued to pack.
“You’re still packing?” I heard, and I turn and Liam is stood there in a Vest top, with his arms folded across his chest, “You’ve been at it a good couple of hours” he spoke.
“Brook” he began, lingering around me, reaching for my arm to stop me from moving, “Can we talk?” he asked me, and that was it, nothing good could come from this.
“What is it?” I ask him, and sit down on the bed, and he joins me, and I feel my chest get tighter, my breathing get faster, my temperature rise, as Liam looks at me, I dread it. I fear it.
“Look, I just want to say, I don’t want you to be tempted okay?” he spoke, and I furrow my brows, and cock my head in confusion.
“Tempted?” I ask.
“Yes, that is all I am saying. If you look at Harry with even the smallest amount of adoration, I wouldn’t want you again, and there won’t be an us” he spoke.
“us? Liam, there is no us!” I stand up in frustration.
“Isn’t there? What would you define us as then, because there is clearly something here Brook” he stood up too.
“No there isn’t! We were drunk, I was sad, we kissed, that was it… there is nothing more too it” I sigh and cover my face.
“If there is nothing more to it, why have you still not told Zayn, If you think what we did was nothing, there shouldn’t even be the smallest amount of doubt in your mind, so what’s stopping you, huh?” he asked me, walking closer and I step back.
“Stop doing that!” I tell him, and move away from him.
“Doing what?” he asked.
“Looking at me, that way. Like I am the only person you’ve ever loved, like you want to be with me, and you want me to fall helplessly in love with you” I tell him.
“I can’t, because that is exactly what I want” he told me.
“No, Liam, we aren’t doing this, I am not cheating on Zayn, he doesn’t deserve this, and I will tell him about us, and what happened the other night , and what happened all those months ago, I will, I just want all of this to be over, before I hurt him, this has to hurt him” I tell him.
“The longer you keeps this, the more it is going to hurt him, so tell him now Brook, if you really love him as much as you claim to, as much as everyone says you do, then you’ll tell him, if you don’t then I can’t wait for the day that I say I told you so” he snapped, and stormed out of the room.
I saw Liam walk up the stairs, and needless to say he was the going to see Brook. But, I was mad her. She didn’t understand that she had been given countless affections of love, and given so little in return, she had given it to Zayn and to myself, but not in the abundance we had given it to her.
I heard weak sobs coming from the bathroom, I walked down and pushed open the door, and Hope sat on the edge of the bath, and wept, her tears were shining like that of an angels, and I sat down by her side, and touched her face, brushing her blonde hair away from her face.
“Are you okay?” I whispered and hugged her, pulling her in close to me, and wrapping my arms around her. “Please, say something” I pulled back, and cupped her heart shaped face.
“I don’t understand, how can you do this? Live this way?” she wept, and looked at me with her soft eyes.
“It’s not a life for everyone” I say.
“It shouldn’t be a life for anyone!” she exclaimed.
“People, want to kill Brook, they want Zayn dead, the people we are currently living with have killed people, it isn’t right, none of this is!” she shouted, and I reach out to try and calm her down.
“You can still get out of this, we warned you Hope, you told you it wasn’t going to be easy, you don’t have to be here” I tell her, but she stopped, and her body went limp, as she looked up at me.
“If you think, you have to be here for James, or anything like that you don’t, he didn’t want this life for you, he told you to get out of this place whilst you still have the chance” I explain.
“it’s not, James, it’s you I am here for” she told me.
“Me?” I said.
“Look, you’re about to go away with Brook, again. From what I’ve heard, when you two are alone, you all in love and fall apart” she spoke.
“You’re worried about me, and Brook?” I say.
“Yes. I don’t want you to be tempted, okay? That is all I am going to say, if you even look at her Harry, with the smallest amount of adoration, then there won’t be an us” she spoke.
“You’re asking me to choose?” I say.
“Not choose, just to make the right choice” she tells me.
“I love her” I whispered.
“I know that, but I know you love me to, and I’m going to wait for you, Harry, but I am not going to wait around for you, forever” she explains. “I;m just saying, if you come back and you’ve been with her, in any of sense of the word, even if it’s just a kiss, I won’t be sticking around” she told me.
“You know there is always going to be something there, the way I look her, you know I… I can’t look at anyone else that way” I defend myself.
“I know that, but i’m giving you the chance” she told me.
“I won’t go near her in that sense, but not for you… for me, because I deserve to be happy, and I know it’s never going to be with her, and it might be with you” I said.
“Thank you” she spoke, “Just go out there, and be her friend, I wouldn’t dare stop what you two have, but she isn’t going to come between what we have” she told me, and I nodded slowly.
I had finished packing and had left my bags down on the floor, I sat in the living room where Tiff sat with Louis, thrusting her chest in his direction, and twirling her hair around her boney fingers. “Could you two please get a room?” I snarl. I understood something had happened the night James had died, that Louis had done something he had regretted, but I wasn’t going to be civil with him if he was abandoning everyone he cared about for the first pretty thing he set his sights on.
“Someone’s moody” Louis rolled his eyes, and stood up, offering Tiff his hand, and she hopped up beside him.
“Yeah, well, maybe if you told me what was wrong with you, instead of someone who isn’t going to stick around for long what was up with you, I wouldn’t be so moody” I spoke, he looked down to me as I looked away, and keeping his eyes glued to me he spoke.
“Come on, Tiff. I don’t need to hear this shit” he spoke, and lead her out of the room.
Liam walked into the room, and then spotted me, and I turned my head away from him. “I guess you never really found yourself, it was just some kind of lie again” he seethed, and walked out of the room.
I closed my eyes, and let tears roll down my face. We were no longer a stable unit. Liam hated me, and Louis hated everyone who wasn’t Tiff, Harry was still untrusted by everyone expect Zayn, and who even knew how Zayn felt. Niall was divided no matter which way he turned.
“Hey” I heard, and I turned to see Zayn, who spotted my tears and looked. “Tell me you’re not crying because of me again” he spoke.
“No, I’m not crying because of you” I reassure him, and move so he can come and sit beside me, and he wraps his arm around me.
“You going to tell me what is wrong?” he asked me.
“I don’t know what’s wrong, I just cried” I spoke.
Have you ever had that? Where you can’t pin point something that is wrong, but you can’t even say what is right? I wanted to tell him everything was okay, and that it was going to be fine, and that it was just one of those days where everything was wrong.
“You sure about that?” he asked me, “I’m sorry if I upset you before, I just don't want you to get hurt” he tells me.
“I know” I say, I want to argue with and tell him I can look after myself, but I know there is no point, i’m too tired, and he is to caring.
“So you going to tell me what is really wrong, you’ve been off with me for days” he sighed, and drew circles on my arm with his hand.
“It’s not you i’m off with, and if I have been off with you, it wasn’t intentional” I say to him. “I’ve just got a lot of things going on in my head right now Zayn, like, with the drinking, and everything with Ricky, I just… I just don’t know how to feel, or how to work properly” I sigh.
“So, I haven’t done anything?” he asked me, and I shook my head, and curl up against him. “Good, I thought you might have found out more things about me” he teased.
“Still keeping secrets from me, huh?” I ask him, and he nodded and kissed my forward.
“All the time, you don’t really think I would completely give everything away to you, do you?” he smirked, and I smirked back up at him.
“I don’t think, I know” I smile at him, and he chuckles, kissing me softly.
“Should we go upstairs?” he whispered into my ear, and ran his hand up my leg, and I know for the past couple of weeks I had practically deprived him of my touch, but I wasn’t up for it, I couldn’t make him feel the way he wanted to feel right now.
“I can’t” I spoke, and shook my head moving away from him.
Also, because of Liam. I couldn’t touch him again until I had told him about, Liam. I wanted to tell him now, but I couldn’t, he seemed so happy right now, he seemed so at peace with us right now, and I didn’t want to ruin that. Not by letting him down again.
“We don’t have to do anything” he sighed, and stood up, I could tell he was irritated by me, he held my hand, and helped me up.
“I’m sorry, again” I look down, all I seemed to be doing was apologising to him.
“You don’t have to be sorry, I just thought it’s been a while, and it might help take your mind of things, but if you don’t want to, you know I am not going to make you” he spoke.
“Yeah, but I know that you want to” I say.
“I’m a guy when don’t I want to” he chuckles, and walks up the stairs with me.
“Don’t try and joke about it” I smirk nudging him, “I want to okay, I really want to, but I don’t know why I can’t” I tell him.
“Brook, stop worrying. I don’t want to if you don’t want to” he told me, and took me into our room and sat be down on the bed.
“Soon, okay? Just not tonight” I spoke as he knelt in front of me, and I lifted up his chin to look me in the eyes, and placed my lips against his cherry sweet ones, and kissed him hard, proving that I did care about him.
“Whenever you ready” he told me, and he chuckled to himself, and stood up. “It feels like when I first met you, when it took you forever to have sex with me” he spoke.
“The only difference being, things were a lot easier then, and far less complicated” I say.
“We are the ones who make things complicated, Brook” he spoke, and took of his shirt, and he threw it my way. “Put it on, it’s been a while since we’ve slept together, and you’ve wore my shirt” he told me, and for a moment, really did feel like a year ago, when things were simply me and him.
“Can I ask you something?” he then added on, and I wriggled backwards to the top of the bed, in only his shirt, and he turned around with a smirk on his lips, and came and lay beside me, and ran his hand down my leg, and kissed me softly.
“You’re going to ask if I yes or no, so go a head” I smile at him, and he chuckled a little, and then he turned a little serious.
“Why.. Why did you love Drake? I mean, you could of loved anyone, why him?” he asked, not angrily, civilly, though we had had this discussion before, I feel like he was really listening now.
“I’ve told you, I was young, and he told me I was beautiful, not many people paid attention to me Zayn. He was older, and he looked at me the way no one had before” I say to him.
“How could no one pay attention to you?” he hooked a finger under my chin, and turned me to face him. “But… did you like really love him? The way you love me” he asked, fragile, like I was about to change his future depending on my answer.
“I’ve never loved anyone, the way I love you Zayn. But back then, it didn’t take much for someone to win my heart, so maybe I thought it could of been love… I think that’s why it was so easy for you to win me” I spoke.
“Easy? You call, fighting, and near death, easy?” he smirked.
“You know what I mean, it take long to fall in love with you Zayn” I spoke. “And I think it is because you’re like him” I tell him.
“Don’t compare to him” he snapped.
“I’m not, the two of you are so different, but in a way you are exactly the same, and I hate it because it makes it hard to be a room with the both of you at the same time” I spoke.
“Scared you’ll fall for him too, huh?” he shuffled uncomfortably.
“No, I’m scared I will loose you, because you’ll end up hating me for even contemplating his love” I sigh.
“I wouldn’t hate you” he told me.
“You’re like him, you do the same things, have the same charms, and it’s those things that I adore about you, that I liked in him, but you have so much more Zayn, you take after him in some ways, but what’s inside you, your heart, it’s so much like your mothers” I tell him.
“As long as you love me more, then I am okay with that” he spoke, “But I won’t ever be like him, I won’t ruin you the way he did” he spoke, and I nodded.
“I know that” I whispered.
Did you all like that? Things are about to get more dramatic, and a lot more dark, in the next few chapters! Please make sure you comment, so I know this still has readers.