“Please” she whispered, against the white pillow case, and rolled around the satin red sheets that hung loosely over her body. “Your not really going to just leave again, are you?” she utters softly, propping herself up on her elbows, and the satin falls showing her soft skin, and she blushes as I look.
“We agreed, this is only going to a friendly thing, Hope” I spoke back, throwing on my black and white stained shirt.
“Well, in my opinion, last night was much more than a friendly thing” Hope teased back, sitting up straight in the sheets. “Your going to act like it didn’t happen?” her fragile lips say, glaring up at the older boy, me.
“You can’t try and guilt trip me, not every time something like last night happens” I frowned at the young innocent girl before me.
“I was just asking” she replies, and looking away from the girl with popping blue eyes and I then find myself gazing back as she reaches for her clothes, brushing back her ebony hair.
“You can’t love me” I remind her, playfully. I walk over to the sheets she lays upon, and crawl up to her, running my hand along her thigh.
“Don’t flatter yourself”
“You don’t love me, nor could you ever?” I lower my voice, pressing my lips to her skin, she glanced up with a simple yet beautiful smile placed on her crimson lips.
“No” she grinned up, “Besides, it’s only been two weeks” she laughed at me.
A loud buzzing interrupted the bittersweet moment. Both of us looked over to the dresser, and sighed a little, I moved from towering over Hope, and she took her own shirt from the floor. I reached for the phone.
“Hello?” I uttered, “Yeah… I stayed at a friends, so I will just meet you there?” I then asked.
Hope threw a stone cold look my way, reminding me that the moment they just shared, was nothing but a dream, that had faded. She was after all too sweet for a boy like me, and this was only ever going to be a bit of fun. However, to Hope, all the fun was in falling. I could see that.
Falling for me.
A series of “Um’s” and “Yeah’s” escaped my lips before hanging up the phone, and looking over to Hope, who was now fully clothed, and putting in her braid to pull her golden hair from her eyes.
“I like that” I spoke, carrying on as if nothing had happened.
“Hmm” Hope muttered, slightly in agreement, but loving the fact that I liked the look of her.
Sometimes, I felt like Hope would have to stop and think, if she took away the money she had, and her house, and everything material, would I still care? She seemed to tell herself yes, but the way I just asked for things from her, always made her reconsider the possibility that I was having sex for money, making her feel a little dirty.
Which may I say was never my intention. - Slowly I found myself beginning to want to know more, learn about her, which was scary.
“Can I borrow your car?” I asked, lacing up my shoelaces.
“You know where the keys are” Hope utters, still not looking my way.
Moments of deafening silence follow.
“Right, well I will see you later then?” I asked, and walked over to Hope to kiss her lips, but her head moves swiftly and diverted my lips to her cheek. “Cold” I smirk.
She only looked over at me, with a half broken smile. “See you later, Harry” she throws the words over her shoulder.
I nod and moving picking up the phone. - “It was Carly on the phone, by the way” I tell her.
“I shouldn’t care” She whispered, and finished her hair, and looked at her self in the mirror.
“Do you?” I asked her, and she glanced over, and gave me half a smile.
“See you later, Harry” she smiles at me, and it’s a smile that softens my heart, and it reminds of the times that I had to say goodbye, but with Hope, I knew I could say Hello again.
I woke up to beaming sunlight that was too bright for my eyes, and I rolled over and hit something solid, and opened my eyes to Zayn. - Something about last night was unsettling, however it was the best I had slept.
“Morning” he mumbled, and I smiled, and curled up against him.
It had been two weeks since my first appointment with Daniel, and things weren’t better for me, but Zayn was happier, and as long as he thought I was okay, then that was fine with me.
“James is here” he spoke.
“I don’t care” I smirk up at him, and he smiled back. - Unconvincingly may I add. “Zayn?” I sit up a little bit straighter. “What is it?” I asked him, and kept the sheets tight around me.
“It’s nothing, really” he smiles.
“Zayn, don’t lie to me” I shook my head, knowing something was wrong, he was far to tense.
“I’m not lying, Brook. It’s just. Well. I have to go somewhere this afternoon, and your not going to like it” he says to me.
I retract away from him a little bit, hating how he trickled out information. “Where are you going?” I asked him, and he sighed, getting out from the sheets, revealing his tanned torso, which made it incredibly hard to stay mad.
“you know that Ricky guy?” he asked me, and I nod slowly, he hitches in a breath. “We have to go and see him” he says to me.
“What? Since when? Why haven’t I been told this?” I asked him, and he gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, the way in which he did when he was nervous.
“We knew you’d want to come, and with the way everyone is treating you at the minute, and how Harry might be there, we just figured it best you didn’t know, and you get better before you take on anything major” Zayn explains.
I stand up now, furious at him, and the rest of the boys. “I’m not some kind of fucking invalid, I don’t have a problem Zayn! I am strong enough to handle myself, and you excluding me from this, which may I add - is my fight - is completely and utterly ridiculous” I snap at him.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you” he points out.
“That makes it worse! The fact you weren’t even going to tell me!” I yell. “Let me guess is Flo going?” I snarl.
“Is that was this is about?” he gave me a smirk.
“What?” I say harshly.
“Your jealous because she is going, and your not?” he stepped forward, and I frowned stepping back from him. “It’s fine if you are” he says.
“I’m not” I snarl.
Leaving the room, to go down stairs. I heard everyone in the living room, laughing and joking. I step in, and fold my arms tightly around my chest.
Everyone stops to look at me.
“I am telling you all now, if you think I am going to lay back and play the victim then you have another thing coming. I am fine, okay? I am not an alcoholic, I do not have some kind of metal problem, I am just sick of this life, and I want it all to be over! I refuse to let you all get hurt because of me, so if anyone dare exclude me from “Group decisions” I will go and I will just hand myself right over to them” I exclaim to them all.
“You forget, sweetie, it isn’t you they want” Flo smirked, and she had a point, they wouldn’t take me. They wanted me suffer.
“Yeah, well, Sweetie… They need me alive, they can’t have me if I’m dead” I seethe.
“What?” Liam looked over to me, “Are you saying you’ll kill yourself, if you don’t get your own way? Grow up” he snarled, and then looked over to Tiff adoringly.
“it’s not about getting my own way, Liam. I won’t let innocent people, get hurt for my mistakes” I tell him, “It’s the morally right thing to do!” I shout.
“When did you take the moral high ground?” Tiff laughed.
“Yeah, when you sucked Louis’s dick? Agreed to sleep with Liam, so he’d keep your dirty little secret? Or when you agreed to marry Harry, and then ditched him? Enlighten me, please, I’m lost” she smirked over at me.
“You guys told her!” I shout.
“What’s all the shouting?” Zayn walked in the room behind her.
“I would look closer to home before you accuse the boys” Tiff smirked and then looked to Zayn, and I gulped.
“What is everyone talking about?” Zayn asked, and I looked to him, then I saw James sat at the other end of the room, and walked over to him.
“This, these bitches, were never part of the deal we made” I snarl.
“Sorry” was all he said.
I only wish he fucking meant it.
I stormed out of the room, and pushed passed Zayn. Not wanting to see any of there faces. I walked into the kitchen, and lent over the side. I stopped moving. Turning around, and eyeing up the bottle of red wine that lay so perfecting on the side.
Cut from my thoughts as soon as Zayn walked in. “Brook…” he trembled.
“I just want to say-..” I cut him off.
“Of all the people you could of told, all the people you could made me see, like a slut to, it had to be them?” I don’t yell, I whisper in despair.
“It wasn’t like that” he mutters, stepping closer, but I look down, shake my head, and he stops.
“Zayn, I could of told them all the shit you did, the boxing, leaving me at the alter, saying you didn’t love me, the fucking bet!” I shouted then, but recede again.
“The bet” he whispered, thinking back and he glows white.
“Yeah, the bet, you remember, when I couldn’t stand the sight of you?” I then step forward, taking the moral high ground.
“Yeah, the bet when you ran away with Harry, instead of fighting for me” he says, and I step back, no longer feeling superior.
“Yeah… that bet” I whispered.
“Brook, please, there isn’t any point in you fighting the world, or me…” he trailed of.
I wanted to tell him to stop, because fighting the world and fighting him, they were exactly the same thing. He was my world.
“I know” I whisper to him.
“Just move on, let us do this one thing with out you? Okay? Every decision then, will be yours” he says, and I sighed, and nodded. Not happy with that, but having to accept it, so me and Zayn can’t fight.
I leave it then. I crawl back into my slumber upstairs, but can’t settle. So I lay in bed all day, I don’t apologise for my actions before. I just leave them all to it. As clearly I see, I know where I am not wanted.
Three heavy knocks are heard at the door, and then it opens and Liam is there, with his impish little grin, that is shy.
“Go away, I am trying to kill myself” I sarcastically snap, being more annoyed at him then anyone else.
“Funny” he mumbled.
“What do you want, Liam?” I rolled my eyes, and turned of the Tv, sitting on the bed, and he walked over.
“I came to say sorry” he told me, and sat down on the bed beside me.
“I want to accept it, but Liam, I need to tell you something, something your really not going to like” I say to him, and he nods for me to continues.
“The person I know you to be, wouldn’t ever say something like that, what you said to me before. I don’t want you to loose yourself, and change who you are just so that Tiff likes you, she is playing you and Louis against each other, and if you aren’t smart enough to see that, It makes me wonder how far you are going to go to impress her” I tell him.
“It isn’t like that” he snapped at me, and I rolled my eyes at him.
“Your so blind to it! The person you are around her, isn’t one that I like, your a dick, and you think your god’s fucking gift” I sigh for my friend, who’s patience was now wearing thin.
“Maybe that is who I really am, Brook? Maybe, I am the kind of person, that need influences to bring out who I really am” he snarled.
“Well if that’s what you think” I say.
We sit in silence. - It wasn’t pleasant.
“Can I say something now?” he asked me, and I hummed for him to speak. “It kills me to see someone as beautiful as you, so sad. You don’t deserve to be.” he told me, and I smiled softly at him, but pain grimaces over my face.
“What makes everyone think I’m sad?” I say quietly.
“Your eyes” he simply mutters.
“I’m not sad” I tell him.
“Sure” he says.
“You know, you could of said that down stairs before” I say, and try to joke, and he cracks half a smile, and I feel a little warmer.
“Maybe I should of” he speaks. “Now-..” he paused, and turned to fully face me, “Please, tell me why your sad” he muttered, and glared at me with brown eyes.
I take in a breath, “Sometimes you feel sad without any reason, and you just can’t help it” I tell him, and he cocked his head.
“Hmm… I thought you said, you weren’t sad” he smirked at me, and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not, its just for future reference” I tell him.
“Things have changed, haven’t they? I mean from the days you were “dead” and we lay around watching movies all day, and things seemed so much simpler?” he asked me, moving now to lay beside me, as if in his mind he was recreating the memory that happened months ago, almost a year.
“I admit it, I really miss how things used to be. But, I also admit, that I’ve accepted the fact that things have to change” I tell him, and he nods at me.
“Please, tell me one thing?” he whispered, and moved a little closer to me, and I lay against him.
“You wouldn’t really die for us all, would you?” he asked me.
“Perfection, is not worth dying for us” he told me, and glanced down at me, and I looked up at him, and cocked my head sideways.
“You think… You think, I’m perfect?” I ask.
“I’ve told you so many times; your the only perfect thing I have ever laid eyes on” he told me sweetly.
Liam, never seized to amaze me. I could hate him one minute, my blood could boil, and I could argue with him until I was red in the face, but then, he changed in one split second. He was a poet with how he spoke, and his words, his words tantalised me and made me want to only listen to him more. Liam was a mystery in my eyes, and that was all he would ever be, he could not waste himself, on someone like Tiff, he should be with a smart girl, who is kind, sweet and doesn’t give her self away.
The way he used his words, was the way he should use her.
“Should we waste the day with movies?” he asked me, and I laughed softly looking up at him, and nodded smiling as we scrolled effortlessly through the movie channels.
“Liam, we are leaving soon, bring Brook down too!” James called up the stairs, moments ago the door had opened and they and all told me there was someone I was to meet.
Someone, I probably wouldn’t like.
We got out from under the sets we had grovelled in all day. I smile at Liam as he opens the door for me and we walk down the stairs. “In a better mood, are we?” Tiff asked from the bottom of the stairs.
“Yeah, Liam thinks i’m perfect” I grin up at him, and he laughed back knowing what I was doing, but he was okay with it, after a such a day he wouldn’t cause more fuss.
“Brook?” I heard, it was Zayn. I travelled to the kitchen where he stood with James and a pretty golden haired girl, with blue eyes, that bared a increasingly dangerous resemblance to James. “Hey” Zayn smiled, and looked to me.
“Hi” I say cautiously, my eyes not leaving the smiling girl who stared at me.
“Brook, this is my sister” James spoke.
“Hey, I’m hope” she smiled at me, and I smile back.
“You sure, she seems nice” I say to him, and smirk.
“Funny. Now, she is going to stay with you, because she lives with me, and well, given that people want me too, they will want her, and we know you can hold you own, thank Zayn for this one, he got you a part in the plan” he says, and I turned to smile at Zayn.
I kissed him softly on the cheek, “Thank you” I say and laughed softly.
“We should be going” James says, Zayn kisses my cheek and as quickly as we spoke, everyone was gone, and it was me and Hope.
“Should we watch a movie, order take out, and do a girly night?” I asked her, and she smiled at me so sweetly. “How old are you?” I asked her.
“17, last week” she smiled at me.
“Congrads” I laughed.
We order food, and I talk more and more to Hope, we sit under a blanket laughing and watching chick flicks. “I’m glad James took you case” she grinned, and flashed her white teeth. So young and naive, so sweet at the age of 17. “Really, I am” she laughed to her self.
We talked boys next, which all girls do.- She began stood up, opening the window.
“There is this one boy, and we have been seeing each other for about two weeks, we met in a bar - classy right? - and we just got talking, but he wants to be like friends with benefits because he has a girlfriend, but I don’t know, you know when you met someone and in some weird way, you see the stars in their eyes?” she asked, and I nodded smiling.
“I am just going the toilet” she told me as I flicked for another film to watch. - It was a nice distraction to have a breath of fresh air in the house.
Her phone rang on the table, “Your phone!” I shout up the stairs.
“Get it for me please” she calls.
i see the name “Harry” on the screen, and my stomach twists. - It couldn’t be. No he wouldn’t like Hope, she was to pure for him now.
“Hello?” I say into the phone, shaking as I do so, thinking the worst.
“Brook, is that you?…” Harry whispers.
“No…” I shake, and turn the phone off.
Hope came back in, and looked over to me with a smile, but it faded. “Who was on the phone?” she asked me.
“Please, tell me you don’t love Harry… Harry Styles” I say to her.
“Not yet” she blushes, but then considers my tone. “Why?” she frowns.
“He’s the guy your brother wants to take down, and the boy… the boy that I was going to marry” I say, and sit down on the couch.
“Hand me that” I whispered, and point to the side.
“The wine, or the whiskey?” she asked me.
new update I hope you all like it!! arghhh i love HOPE she is so sweet! <<3 ily all!