I woke up gasping, trying to ignore the pain as I lifted up the bandages to see how bad the cut was this time. I get the nightmare at least once week, so I always sleep with a bandage on. My parents don't know about the dream, and I don't want to worry them. I poke under the bandage and find my finger covered in a bit of blood. I walk to the bathroom and put an ointment on it to help it heal, though I know it won't stay healed very long.
I grip the side of my bathroom counter top and focus on the person reflected back at me. The girl I see staring back at me is tall and gorgeous, with wavy copper-blonde hair lying to her belly button, her porcelain pale skin making her hazel eyes, and pink lips stand out on her flawless face. She looks bold and courageous.
The only thing ruining her beauty is the bandages on the left side of her abdomen. That may be what I look like on the outside but certainly not what I am on the inside. Inside, I'm a frightened little girl begging for help, but knowing she can't ask anyone. I'm too scared to face anything or anyone, I refuse to ask for something I want or need.
I always have a hard time saying no, and that's what I hate most about myself. I didn't say no to my boyfriend when I was not ready to do anything more than making out. I never said no to any of my friends when they asked me to do their homework.
I shook myself forcing the thoughts away. I got ready for school in under an hour and sat on my front porch waiting to be picked up by my boyfriend, Thaddeus. He insists on picking me up and dropping me of everyday. We've been dating for almost three years but it hadn't been but three months when we had started a much more physical relationship.
Everyone calls him Tadd and he is very popular at school, especially among the girls. No matter how many times we both tell them to back off, they keep coming on stronger. I guess it doesn't really bother me too much, because I know that once we graduate, we probably won't ever speak again. I mean if he honestly cared about me wouldn't he notice that I'm not near as strong as he thinks I am?
I look down at the book in my lap and close it as I see headlights flash across the yard. No matter how much I want to read Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice I just cannot get in more than four pages at a time. I guess my mind just wanders a lot.
Tadd pulled his truck to a stop and got out to hold the passenger door open for me. He hopped back in the drivers seat and pecked my cheek before backing out. Tadd was hands down the sweetest and most attractive guy I've ever dated. He had dark brown short hair, lightly tanned skin, hazel eyes, and stood a whole inch taller than me at five foot eight. We had a fine relationship, once I got used to the physical-ness of it all.
He grabbed my hand once we got onto the road and glanced at me squeezing my hand,"How was your night? Did you sleep well?" He knows have nightmares often, just not that they're recurring.
I glanced out the side window,"No, not at all." There was no use in lying to him, he could read me like a picture book. He's better at hiding himself from me, but I don't ask why. If I force his secrets out then he would want to know mine and I'm not ready to share the burden of the nightmares yet.
"Well, I don't know how to stop them, but it's Friday so you can stay at my house tonight and I'll fight all the bad dreams away for you." What he meant by that was 'You can stay at my house and we can stay up all night and watch movies and do other things to keep us awake.'
It wouldn't be the first time we've done this and my parents don't mind that I stay at his house. "Sure. I'll come to yours after dinner. On one condition."
His eyes widened,"Oh so now you're calling the shots? I don't know then. I mean I did get invited to a lot of parties..."
"I just wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty!" I grabbed his arm,"Please Tadd! I don't wanna have another nightmare! Please! Please! Please!"
He pulled his truck into his parking spot that we had painted together. The whole spot was painted white and on the front part of it painted in red are the words Telle has no Limits. I'm not really sure what that means, but Tadd had combined our names to get Telle. The rest of the spot just has random graffiti on it.
After turning his truck off and unbuckling his seat-belt, he scoots closer to me and grabbed my chin. "Babe I was joking. We're going to watch Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, and any other Disney movie you'd like. Babe, I don't want you to have another nightmare either!" He pulled me closer and kissed my lips lightly.
There was a knock on the passenger window and I turned around and saw my best friend Kahlil. We've been friends for about six years. We met in our fourth year of school and became fast friends. She was much shorter than me, being only five foot three. She had super thin straight black hair and brown eyes. She was only a few shades tanner than me and I'm as pale as an old doll. I hopped out of the truck, after kissing Tadd's cheek, to walk to first class with Lil.