Joyce kept calling and calling until I decided to use Optimus Prime as a scape coat. Two days ago when the Autobots were asleep, I used the IDS to guide me drawing Decepticon Symbols all over the Autobot symbols in the base and the individuals. No one knew who did it because someone broke the security cameras.
“Who’s this?” Joyce asks, well more like yelled over the phone.
I could imagine Optimus looking down to me, confused why I had handed him the phone.
“Why give me the phone?” Optimus asks.
I rigged the base doors to play ‘The Touch’ every time Optimus walked into the Base. Optimus went through the door multiple times to make sure it wasn’t him imaging it. I know hearing the Touch exists in this universe sounds absurd when it shouldn’t exist. But it does exist in this world for a different show.
“She’s been grilling me for ages.” I said.
I also rigged the doors to play ‘I’m blue’ by Eifflel 63 everytime Arcee walks in.
“Your name is Why Phone?” Joyce’s voice is easily heard over the phone. “Like Phone tell me what’s been making Pond hang up on me!”
I’m surprised she didn’t use the word ‘like’ more than two times in one sentence.
“How long?” Optimus asks.
“For like, two weeks.” Joyce said.
“She’s been helping us getting rid of a scraplet nest and planting indoor security systems for any intruders.” Optimus said, with all the truth in the world in his voice. “Her current state of mind is very . . .”
“Serious?” Joyce asks.
“Crazy.” Optimus said.
I ditched Sir Optimus Prime with Lady Joyce of chattery.Arcee is still napping so I decided to do something that is really unconventional in the world of Transformers. I spray painted Arcee’s armor into black. The IDS does have ear buds to put in my ears. Although no one bothered because they were so busy.
______ ______ _________
. . .Three hours pass . . .
“Who painted Arcee?” Optimus asks.
Optimus had all the kids—and I do count as an organic, kind of—for this.
“Painted . . . what?” Jack said, sounding surprised,
“I thought she was trying out a new color.” Raf said, as I heard his glasses were being shifted.
“So she didn’t opt for a black themecolor?” Miko said. “I was working on a math worksheet with Bulkhead.”
The whirrs from a robot neck easily told me that Optimus is facing my direction.
“I didn’t.” I lied. “I was busy training some raccoons how to play basketball.”
“You can’t teach raccoons how to play basketball!” Jack acknowledges, and his voice sounded like he found it hard to believe that I did it.
“It’s possible when you catch them in the act ripping your bed apart.” I continue lying to Jack. “And then cornering them with rotten cheese . . . “
“You are lying.” Raf said. “You’re smiling.”
“I swear, I did teach Racoons how to play basketball!” I claim. “Every night at 6; they are outside my apartment and they miss the hoop each time. Sometimes the pounds sometimes drive me back to sleep like it was raining.”
I can’t say Arcee was pleased learning I did it. But what I can say is Optimus had strongly instructed me to call Joyce and end the repeated phone calls requesting to speak with ‘Phone’ about me. For short Optimus grounded me from the base for two days—yes, he’s parenting me---and didn’t expect any more repaints from me in the future. I didn’t just do repaints. I did more than repaints; I did lots of stuff to the base. Heck there’s probably an airbag still under the left couch seat that hasn’t been sat on yet.
An hour after being grounded; I had worked up my fingers to dial Joyce’s phone number. What can I do for two days straight? Hmm, other than getting this conversation over with there’s a plethora of ideas rolling around. I put the phone on my ear. Oh by the way I’m in the apartment that’s nowhere near the base. However my apartment is near a small forest and an impossible garden that shouldn’t be in Navada.
I pressed the square button in the middle of the phone. The phone came with the IDS package for free.
“Pond!” Joyce yells. “You are going to Montanna with us on a like, two day stay!”
“Lots of y’s you got there.” I commented.
“. . . Pond, stop noting the last letters.” Joyce said after a dramatic pause.
“How can I not note words?” I ask, walking back and forth in the room. “Words that have the same ending like; a woodpecker pecks a deck that is a teck for a woodpecker lecker.”
“Pond.” I heard Joyce. “You are speaking non-sense again.”
I wish I had eyes to roll.
“Why go to Montanna?” I ask.
“It’s where the entire setting of Eragon is based on.” Joyce reasons. “Like it’s got lots of land and Sydney’s got movie roles that need two girls attempting to make a house. It needs two people for that one scene. Like, it takes a day for the prop to be set up. We can improvise our lines!”
I rub my chin, stopping in the pacing. Hey at least Joyce is using her favorite word again in one huge reply.
“Come along, little pond!” Joyce is determined.
“I must wear sunglasses.” I said, trying to hold myself together.
“What?” Joyce sounds puzzled.
“Sunglasses,nothing else.” I repeat. Well I can’t visit the Autobots for two days so at least this is productive. “Nor can you take them off for fun. That is my condition to this two day trip.”
Gosh,wish I could cry. Why do I wanna cry in the middle of a conversation? The ‘come along, little pond’ somewhat reminds me of what the Doctor called Amy Pond. I get to the point of sniffling. Sometimes it’s awful to be a fangirl when the littlest things become bothersome. Doctor Who hasn’t aired season seven yet in 2011; or has it? No wait.That is The Riversong season!
“O-kaay.” Joyce said. “I take this as a yes. Where do I pick you up?”
I don’t drive. Everyone knows I don’t drive anymore. Well I don’t know what happened to the car from team Mech’s little stunt.
“Pathenie Forest.” I said.
In my world there is no such thing as Pathenie forest; but there happens to be one in Jasper.
“See you in half an hour!” Joyce said, and then she hangs up.
So figuring I am going to be in Montanna for at least three or two days; I should pack my luggage with some clothes.A girl does need to have a variety of clothing. Guess who bought some clothes for me? Oh yeah that was Miko, however I had to go with her to the store to buy these attires. I packed the luggage with clothes, then used the IDS to help me write ‘Will be back in 3 days’ on a piece of paper and staple it to the door.
Let’s fast forward two days.
Montanna has rolling hills and a calm atmosphere. It’s the state where horses can roam and live. It’s pretty much famous for being the state occupied by Horses. Hiding the IDS from everyone was easy thanks to using pockets and ear buds. Sydney sounded so happy when we met—and she nearly squeezed me breathless with her bear hug—after forever.
“One, two, three.” The Director said. “Action!”
I walk forwards holding something hard and round with a flat bottom.
‘There is a structure of a house across from you.’ The IDS said. ‘There’s a wooden plank under your foot’.
I turn right.
‘There is an individual standing right at the doorway.’ The IDS said. ‘With a hat and a clipboard. This is the only individual at this wooden structure.’
I go to the individual and then ask a silly question. “What does this part go to?”
“That is the door handle.” A man’s voice replied.
Wait. Joyce said two girls were going to be in the scene. Why is there a man in it?
“Screws, rectangles, jollyranchers,” I list. “Why do people say ‘there will be two girls!’ and then, once they are on stage, it’s only one girl and one man?”
“Production cost.” The man said, with an edge to his voice. “You should put the handle into the door.”
That moment made me wish I can blink.
“Where is the door?” I ask.
There is a brief pause between us.
“It’s across from the barely finished bathroom, Mrs Sandy.” The man said.
So my character’s name is Mrs.Sandy who walks around wearing big sunglasses and acts strange.
“Where’s the bathroom?” I ask.
“Go through the doorway, turn left, go straight, then turn right, and after that take another right.” The man explains to me. “Excuse me, but can you take off those sunglasses so I can see you?”
“I see you are a man who treats blind people like they are idiots.” I said, sliding my sunglasses forward. “Blind people used to be like you. They used to have eye-sight. They used to be walk around without a problem on their plate. I don’t like it when I’m told there was supposed to be two woman workers on set and then turn around to say ‘April fools!”
I waved my arms.
“This is not nice!” I go on. “This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair I KNOW THAT for a matter of fact!” I added in a chiding tone. “If I’ve been told plans have been changed then this would be different! I expect to be told who is my partner! I expect some HONESTY here before throwing me into this!”
“Calm down Mrs—“ The Man said,
“No!” I yell at him. “I won’t calm down. I have a fire that’s been lit. Who is this damn house for?” I ask, furious. I didn’t’ get an answer. So I threw the door handle at him. “I hope this house gets burned into crisps, pieces, and ashes.”
I stormed off with emotions raging inside. It felt like a storm was raging inside
“Pond!” I heard Joyce coming after me. “Come back!”
I’m heading to the hotel Joyce had given directions to.
“No.” I said, with every ounce of anger.
Joyce grabs me by the shoulders but I flip her over.
“What the hell?” Joyce said.
That came outta me. Wow I must be really mad. Oh yeah, I AM mad.
“You LIED to me!” I said, my hands crawled into balls.
‘Joyce gets up.’ The IDS said.
“I wasn’t really lying.” Joyce said. “There is—“
I punched her.
“Stop.” I said. “Lying to me.” I considered her a friend. And she didn’t tell me the truth. She didn’t tell me that I was going to be in a scene with a man. “I can’t believe you’ve done this. Do you like to have me as a friend? A friend? Do you think I can forgive that much of a lie? I would have been prepared for that scene. Did you know there’s a thing called ‘feelings’, ‘trust’, and ‘honesty’ in a friendship?”
“Pond, you’re over-reacting!” Joyce said.
“Over-reacting?” I raise my voice. “This is me. You’ve broken the code of friendship. You are not my friend.”
I turn away and continue to the hotel feeling content with my anger being released.