15. To be disturbed
It continued! A few days later phoned Niall again. This time he just breathed into the phone. He didn't know what to say, and after a minute I heard a click in the phone. It wasn't a nasty phone call in which he sat and groaned, he just sat quietly and it was as if he forgot why he called. Ten minutes later the phone rang again and this time he dared to open his mouth.
"So it's serious?"
I didn't want to play his game and I wanted him to speak clearly. I guessed that he meant our relationship, Harry's and mine.
"You know what I mean!"
"Niall stop calling here and live your life, instead. You've done it splendidly until now. Keep it up!"
"But I..." hesitation. "Please explain to me what he has that I don't got."
I had a thousand things that could describe Harry, but what did he got that Niall didn't have. The only thing I thought about was that Niall was unfaithful and Harry was faithful. That was the reason I broke up with him.
He didn't give up.
"Is he so fucking perfect or what?"
I swallowed and I sat down on a chair.
"Yes, he's perfect because he doesn't need other girls around him to feel needed."
Niall fell silent. It was as if he was expecting a different answer.
"But you love me?"
I shook my head, although he didn't see it.
"No!" I whispered. "I love Harry and this time you can't fool me."
He took a few seconds of silence.
"But I love you?"
"No Niall. You don't love me. You love to love, and you love the idea of being loved. You have no feelings for me."
"Yeah, I do have feelings!"
"Why? You cheated in me."
Niall did know that I told the truth. He knew I had a reason not to be with him and he know I had more reasons against earlier.
"I wont betray Harry this time." I continued. "You will find your place in life, but you don't belong with me."
He was sobbing and I was almost annoyed at him. He didn't listen to me.
"Niall stop!" I almost screamed. "You can cry all you want, but I don't want to live the life that you live and you know I'm married. I'm not the one who's cheating."
When Harry came home from work, I cried. I felt dejected over that Niall couldn't let me be. I wasn't interested and I had built up a wall against Niall, yet he was about to demolish it.
I felt how he took his arms around me and I felt Harry's face on my cheek. I took my arms around his waist and I tried to stop.
Harry became stiff all over the body. I felt that he didn't like the topic, and he distrusted me, as usual.
"What did you say?"
"That I don't love him, that I don't want anything to do with him and that he should stop."
Harry let me quickly go. He walked away and he walked towards the phone.
"I'm calling my lawyer."
He spun around and he looked at me with frightened eyes.
"He wont fucking take you away from me again and I'm make damn sure he doesn't call us ever again. He should have a restraining order!"
I backed off.
"Are you serious?"
Harry nodded cold.
"I will protect what is mine and I'll make sure that he understands how much I fucking hate him."
It was the first time I had seen Harry so angry. I just stared at him and I said nothing when he picked up the phone. It was as if I finely understood what he really felt. He wasn't only afraid that I would leave him. He was terrified!
"Sorry!" mumbled Harry, and he hugged me tightly. He had talked to his lawyer for an hour, but I didn't know what they had talked about. I didn't want to know!
"It's I who should say sorry?"
"I was angry and I let it out on you. Didn't mean to hurt you."
I closed my eyes and I felt his body so close to me.
"You didn't hurting me." I whispered. "It's Nialls job to hurt me."
Harry kissed my forehead.
"I'm sorry anyway!"
I smiled and I looked up at him.
"So what happens now?"
"We let the lawyer handle his job. You'll be home soon and we'll be parents."
He pulled his hands through my hair.
"And the next time he calls, hang up."
Harry was sure about what he wanted me to do.
"Hang up the phone and don't talk to him."
"Okay, I promise!"