I sat on the patio and I looked over our yard. It had been a year and I still felt like a beginner at all. "You have to speak up!" had Niall said. "Employees should know their place and they wont do what they want when they work!" I sighed and I drank out of the coffee. I didn't fit into the rich life and I knew that many looked askance at me. "So there's she is, the one who taking the money from Niall!" It didn't matter that I was earning my own money and I struggled to be one of them. Each party was a struggle and every man, in Nialls surroundings, was a challenge. I soon didn't knew what I felt about things. I nodded, I agreed and I was staying at Nialls side. He was certainly happy with me, because I had turned into something more easy to manage. I was just a girl, without opinions and I smiled, when it was required from me.
"Good morning, Darling!"
Niall came out onto the patio and he looked happy. He sat down on the other side of the table and he unfurled today's newspaper. I saw how he checked the stock market, the value of money, and he went through everything that had to do with money. I watched his sunburned face. I could his face by heart, and I still loved him. He was wonderful and I knew he loved me, even though there were people who thought he took me just to be nice.
"I might be working overtime today." I said quickly to break the silence.
"Mmmm!" came out indifferently from Nialls mouth. He gave me a quick glance and then he picked up the cell phone and answered a few text messages.
"Shall we eat at the restaurant when I'm going home?" I asked, but he didn't seemed to hear my words. I sighed and I stood up. I watched him carefully before I turned around and walked towards the door.
"But where do you go darling?"
I gave him a quick smile.
"I'll go to my work."
He put down his cell phone and I was standing between him and the door. He smiled and he looked at me.
"When are you coming home?"
Niall hadn't listened to a single word I had said. I sighed.
"I will be late tonight. I have to work over a few hours."
He stood up and he came over to me. I felt his arms around my waist and he kissed me.
"I'm booking a table at a restaurant?"
Still, he hadn't heard what I had said, but I swallowed my pride and I nodded.
"It will be good."
He kissed me again and he was near me. I responded to the kiss and I smiled at him. Niall pulled a hand through my hair and then he let me go.
"I'll call you ..." I mumbled tired and then I went into our big house. I went through the rooms to the hall, took the keys and left the house.
I had everything. I could buy everything, but it was as something inside me gnawed me down. I missed something, but what? I loved Niall and he loved me. He had really tried to show me how much he cared, but everyday was boring. Sometimes we lived in the same house, but I didn't see him. He kept on with business, money, and he did everything to get richer. I was happy with what we got. We didn't need more money and I wanted to spend more time with him, not with our employees. I sighed and I drove into the roundabout. My life was monotonous, boring, without content. I wanted children, but Niall wanted to wait. "You have to be married!" he said. When I suggested that we should get married, he laughed lightly. "We must be engaged a few years before we get there."
I worked at one of the nation's largest banks. I was in charge of large accounts and I did my work without problems. My boss Simon Cowell was pleased with me and he often came in to my office to see how much work I had. This particular day he came in with a happy face and he picked off a few files from my desktop.
"I take care of them."
I smiled at him gratefully.
"There goes an hour's work." I said cheerfully. He agreed and he gazed at me. He seemed to ponder.
"You have been here for a year and I have to admit that we can't do it without you."
I was proud.
He smiled and he walked towards the door, he stopped and he spun around.
"You know that we care about you who's working in the bank?"
I didn't understand what he meant.
"If there's something that happens in your life, good or bad, I'm here and you can talk to me about everything."
"Sure?" but I had no idea why he said those words. I didn't let my private life out on my job and vice versa.
As always, I ate a simple salad midday. I bought it from a nearby resturant. I sat in my room, working on and I ate carefully so I didn't got the food at any paper. My fingers were over the keys on the computer and I worked diligently with everything that could be done.
The phone rang and it was Niall.
"I have a reservation." he said cheerfully, and he talked about the resturant and what time.
"Sure!" I replied. "I'll be there on time."
He laughed lightly.
"And this weekend we going to the coast. I promised mom to visit our cabin and see how it looked."
I smiled, I smiled falsely.
He seemed happy and I heard he was in the car and he was out on a major road.
"We can call some friends and ask them to come with us, it will be more fun?"
I smiled falsely.
I just wanted to scream out straight. I wanted to slug the phone on the table so that it broke. I wanted to tell Niall that it was boring. I didn't want to spend time with his rich friends, who still hated me. He obeyed his mother's minimum requirements and why? Well, because he was with me. She hated me and she hated me every time I came into her house. She smiled falsely and she said hello, but nothing more was said to me. She never talked to me and Niall didn't see it. He was the kind son who didn't see how badly I was treated, because in his head all loved me as much as he loved me. In Nialls little world, everything was perfect and he was satisfied. He didn't see that I was suffering and I was too stupid to not tell the truth. Sometimes I regretted that I had left Harry. When I was with Harry all loved me and I could talk to his parents. They saw me as one of them and they weren't snobby or boring. I suffered over the decision to leave him, but at the same time, I loved Niall more than what I had loved Harry.
As you make your bed so you must lie. (Swedish proverb)