The Dead Walking 5

(the fifth book in The Dead Walking series!) Some chances ARE worth taking... and in a world like this... you don't have yet a second to decide what chances are the ones worth the risk. I still don't know if I chose right.

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12. You're Mine

            I open the front door slowly, checking to make sure I didn't wake anyone. At this point it wont matter anyways because it's probably 7 or 8 so everyone will be up soon. I silently slip outside through the little gap I created and shiver slightly as a gust of cold air blows toward me. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to stop my teeth from chattering.

         The sun is starting to rise, but the temperature has to be below freezing. I sit down on the concrete and let my feet hang on the second step, bringing my knees to my chest. I really should go back in there and talk to him. I mean I cant be mad at him now. He almost died. Maybe I am one of those pushy girlfriends. Maybe I am kind of clingy and maybe I do ask too many questions. But he has to think I'm stupid if I'm just going to sit back, not caring about anything he does or how he's feeling. There are people walking around outside that are dead for Christ's sake!

          I run my fingers through my knotted hair, somewhat roughly, trying to control my anger. I wince a little as my fingers get caught and yank on the strands. Sighing, I put my head in my hands. He's clingy too. He does nothing, but ask me how I'm feeling and he NEVER leaves my side except for now. Maybe we need a break from each other.

          The sound of the front door opening behind me pulls me out of my daydream. I look behind me and only then do I realize I'm crying. The look on Casey's face kind of makes me wonder, what exactly MY face looks like. "Izzy..."

          I wipe away the tears and sniffle a little. "I'm fine. What do you want?"

         He sits down beside me looks at me, studying my face. I cringe back a little. "Why the hell are you crying?"

          I shake my head, wiping away a stray tear. "It's nothing, really," he rolls his eyes harshly. "It's complicated!" I insist.

          "Complicated my ass. Carl wants to talk to you. He asked me to send you up, but I'm guessing this little episode has something to do with him anyways.

          "Relationship probs," I joke, but he doesn't even smile. His face is still serious as can be.

          "I can talk to him ya know. I'm sure if he knew that he made you cry he would apologize. He isn't one to try and hurt you Izzy and if he is-"

          "No. I don't want him to apologize. It's both of our faults and I do need to talk to him, just not right now. I need some to think Casey. You don't have to try and fix everything. This is our problem that we need to work out," the words spill out of my mouth, sounding a little harsher than I expected.

          He nods to himself before putting an arm around my shoulders, reassuringly. "Okay," he says simply... and I know he's giving me my space to think. To be honest I'm glad he's out here, now that he's not probing me with questions at least. It's nice to think, with the knowledge that you're not really alone. So that's what I do.

 

                                         **********

 

                 *Carl's point of view*

           I don't know what I expected. For her not to care about the things I said to her? For her to just come right back up here and talk to me? No. I didn't expect that. What have I done?

           I pushed her away. I'm lucky to be alive. And I pushed her away.

          Wow. Way to go Carl. You may have just ruined one of the only things good in your life. I push myself up on the bed so I'm half sitting. I ignore the sharp pain in my side at the slight movement and run my fingers through my hair. The brown mess is slick with sweat and grime and it sticks out in tufts. I'm still not wearing a shirt, but jeans are ripped and splattered with mud and blood. My body is covered in scratches and bruises. I look pathetic. So much for protecting her, for always being here for her. I mean I can barely protect myself and she's probably down there... hurt. Because of me. And it's probably Casey who's down there, helping her. Comforting her. She deserves someone like him. He's way better guy than I'll ever be. I'm a mess. I'm relying on her to keep me together.

           I'm so engulfed in my thoughts I don't even hear her come up the stairs or see her standing in the doorway until she says my name. "Carl..." her voice is strained. Like she's trying not to cry.

          Her eyes are puffy and red. She's been crying. My heart literally aches at the sight of her. I did this. I deserve to hear whatever she has to say. I deserve all of this. I force myself to sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed, biting my lip to keep from groaning at the pain, and stand up. The pain is horrid, liking I'm getting shot all over again, over and over again. Her eyes widen in surprise as I walk toward her and wrap my arms around her.

         Her head rests against my bare chest and her trembling body, shakes me too. "I'm so sorry," I breath. "I'm so sorry Izzy. I'm an asshole. A complete jerk. I pushed you away... but I do need you. I need you to keep me together and I just... you deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone who'll keep you safe. Who doesn't hurt you. Someone that isn't broken, but I'm selfish Izzy... and I don't know if I can let you go." By the time I've finished I'm trembling more than she is.

         Not to my surprise she pulls away. But then she rests her hands on the side of my face and she stares into my eyes. I'll never know what she sees in them. And then... she leans forward and presses her lips to mine... hard. Her hands slide down to grip my shoulders and with instinct my arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I stumble back a little, struggling to support us both. Her lips taste like tears. Her tears and I match my lips with hers and kiss her back with the same intensity.

          She pulls away after a moment. We're both breathing hard. "I'm pretty selfish too Carl..." her eyes travel down to the bandage on my side and I want so badly to bring her lips back to mine. "And I cant let you go either," she stands on her tiptoes and for a second I think she's about to kiss me again, but instead she leans in close to my ear and whispers, "You're mine." Her cool breath tickles my ear and I shiver at the words.

          Then without thinking her lips are against mine again and I spin us around and then the bed is underneath us. Suddenly I know longer feel the wound on my side. I know longer feel broken. I only feel us. I only feel my lips against hers, our bodies pressed against each other. It's just us. And unlike any of our other kisses. Neither of us pull away.

 

 

        Okay guys... sooooooo... that ending... it can be whatever you want it to be. More than just a kiss...? That's up to you. Please let me know what you think! And don't forget to like, comment and favorite! <3

                                                              xoxo~ Samantha

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