Before I know it, its dark and everyone is laying down, trying to keep warm against the icy air. To be honest I'm not sure if Carl will even come and sleep beside me or if he'll stay away... like earlier. Casey and the kids come to sort of sleep beside... leaving me room though... not getting to close. I'm really sure who the bad guy of the fight was... I guess both of us.
I still have Casey's jacket on and I take it off and toss it over to him, leaving me with just my tank top. "Izzy... take it," he tosses it back.
I shake my head. "No. I'm not going to take your only jacket."
"Fine. I guess if your not gonna wear it... then I wont either," he presses.
I pick it up and chuck it this time. "Take it!"
He smirks. "Nope."
"Whatever," I say and roll over.
After a minute I hear footsteps coming toward me and look up to see it is Carl. He hands me the shirt that he let me borrow before. I smile a little and he takes a seat beside me. I'm shaking hard as I slip my arms through the sleeves. Carl rolls his eyes before sliding down onto his back and rolling over on his side to face me. We lay for a moment... looking into each other's eyes. I'm not mad at him anymore. I cant be. He puts an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, using the heat from his body to keep me warm. It helps a lot, but I still cant stop shaking... stop my teeth from chattering.
"Izzy are you okay?" he asks quietly.
I nod against his chest. "Y-yeah."
He sighs and unzips his hoodie. "Here put your arms in between us." I do as he says and he wraps the jacket around both of us. He has to stretch it a little bit, but once he has it zipped its okay. "Better?"
"A lot better."
"Then get some sleep. You need it," he instructs.
"So do you," I point out.
"Yeah, yeah... I'll go to sleep once you do," I can practically see the smile on his face and I know we're okay... for now at least.
I close my eyes and let myself relax. You'd think I would feel weird... being this close to him... in a jacket together, but its not. Not at all. It feels almost natural being with him. Like he's another side to me. And maybe he is. Life is not a fairy tail... that's for sure... but maybe he's my prince... a prince with a sheriff's hat.
* * * * * *
When I open my eyes again the sun has just barely risen... leaving the sky still kind of dark. I would get up, but the air is still cold and to be honest I just don't want to. So I just lay there... looking at him. I smile at the thought. As creep as it is, it really is interesting to watch people sleep. He looks peaceful. His eyes shut softly, his mouth not scowling. Maybe he doesn't have nightmares like I do sometimes. I wonder what everyone else thinks of us. I know we weren't the last people to fall asleep so someone must have seen how we're laying. Not that I'm worried... just wondering really.
After a moment Carl yawns and his eyes open. He doesn't say anything though, just smiles. His hair messy without his hat... my hair even messier. I love his hat and all but... I don't know. I smirk a little. "What?" he laughs a little.
"Nothin," I smile.
He shakes his head and laughs a little more. "We're gonna have to get up..." he says, somewhat sadly.
I give him a quick kiss, but he stops me before I can pull away and kisses me a little longer. I smile his face still inches from mine. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach as I stare into his eyes, the blue in them seeming to grow brighter by the second, his smell filling my nose. "I love you Izzy... and... I don't know what got into me yesterday... I was being stupid. I lost control and-"
I cut him off my putting a finger to his lips. I shake my head. "No Carl... we both lost it. We both let ourselves go. I know you have that side... we both do... we try to hide it... to tell ourselves that it isn't there... but it is. And it's okay... we have each other to help us... to hold ourselves together."
"Yeah... but I should have hid it. Around you at least. It's bad Izzy... I... It's like I black out and once I'm out I just... lose it and I could have hurt you..." he cups my face with his right hand and tucks a strand of my crazy blonde hair behind my ear. "And I cant hurt you."
I rest my hand over his as I talk. "Carl. Don't you think I know that? I knew yesterday you could hurt me... but I wasn't scared. I know you and no matter how mad you are or how crazy you might be..." I laugh a little. "I'm just as crazy as you are... and I trust you. I trust you with my life," I admit. "But yesterday... I lost it too. So much worse then you think. Back in the woods... I almost gave up."
"Oh god... Izzy. I- was it..." he cant finish.
I shake my head. "It wasn't because of you, no... it was a lot of things... I was just... I couldn't take it... but then I stopped myself. I made myself get up, to let it out..." I sigh.
He moves his hand away from my face and wraps both of his arms around me and holds me even closer to him, kind of crushing my hands in between us. "Never... never think of doing that. Never..." he repeats. "What you said yesterday about losing another one of your families... you're not gonna lose me... I promise... and the same goes for you. I cant lose you. You and Judith... you're all I have left..." I nod... a few tears sliding down my cheeks. He pulls away a little so he can see my face. "Don't cry," he shakes his head... wiping away the tears with his cold hands.
"I know... I'm not the easiest person to get along with... and honestly I'm kind of a bitch... I know... so thanks for putting up with me," I say... not meeting his eyes.
"Hey..." he lifts my head up so I'm forced to make eye contact. "I don't think so. I don't put up with you. You're not some animal that I'm forced to deal with... I love having you with me... everywhere I go."
I smile. "I love you too... but Carl... I kind of think love is an understatement. I mean people used to say 'I love you' all the time in 7th grade... well I don't really think we have a 7th grade love. I mean it's only been 2 years since we first met... but I feel like I've known you for a lifetime. And I feel so cheesy saying that I just 'love you," I laugh a little at how stupid it sounds.
"Well I more than just 'love you' too," he smiles.
I hear someone stir from behind me and turn my head to see that Maggie and Glen are awake. So everyone is going to start waking up soon. "I guess we do have to get up..."
He rolls his eyes and unzips the jacket from around me. I sit up and he re-zips it around him. I sigh and stand up, brushing the dirt off of me. I run my fingers through my hair, trying to fix it. I give up after a moment and moan. "You look fine Izzy," he rolls his eyes again. I notice that he's already put his hat on and I snatch it away real quick and put it on my head.
"I think it's time for me to wear this," I smirk. "Plus... you look good without it," I admit.
"Oh my god... fine you can wear it," he chuckles.
I hear a rustle in the woods and look over. A walker stumbles out and almost lands on Daryl. Carl grabs the walker by it's shirt and half throws him off and I stab my sword through his head, all within 10 seconds.
"Are you okay?" Carl asks.
Daryl nods looking a little shocked and confused. "Yeah I'm fine. Thanks for killing it."
We both nod. "Of course. We have to help each other now. No one can survive by their selves now," I tell him.
He sits up and me and Carl walk away. I take a seat against the wall and Carl sits beside me. "What do you think we're gonna do? Like where are we gonna go?" I ask.
"I really don't know. Just keep moving I guess. We don't really have anywhere to go."
I pull my knees up to my chest and lean my head back and sigh. "More walking. Fun! I'm sure me and my broke ribs will enjoy it," I say sarcastically.
He lets out a light laugh. "You'll be fine. You're strong."
I don't reply, but I smile. I see Daryl and everyone talking. Near the end they all nod. "Then I guess we'll just stay here for the rest of day. We'll leave tomorrow," Maggie says.
I sigh in relief. One more day to relax. One more day to just... be with Carl without having to worry. One more day.
So I've been updating a lot lately and I've decided that I'm not going to update until I gain a like... a favorite... or 5 comments. So... how did you guys like the story so far? Let me know! I would love some CC!