I see her every day. I am getting on my train on Kennington underground station in the southern end of London and I just wait for the train to arrive at the next station. She use to get on the train at Elephant & Castle station not too far from where I live, but even though she is so close, I don’t know who she is. I’m always standing up even though there are empty seats in the train. My mate is standing next to me and talks but I just look out of the window, out in the black tunnel. The electronic female voice tells us, that we will arrive at the next station in a minute. The black tunnel is being replaced with a wall with white and blue tiles and everything lights up when the train slows down and stops in front of the impatient group of people who have to go to work or go to school. She is standing right there in the middle near the pillar.
Her hair is long and blond and I do believe her eyes are blue. I have only seen them quick a few times before. Her eyes are always locked at one of her books of Shakespeare or something classic like that. She only looks up when she is getting of her seat and leaves the train.
My mate just keeps talking to me while I only pay attention to the girl. I follow her with my eyes while she is finding a seat. That was why I was always standing up. It didn’t matter where she was sitting, I could always see her and even though I was sitting next to her, she would not see me anyway. I have desperately tried to sit next to her a few times and I gave her my best flirty glare, but she is always too into her books and didn’t see me at all. I have tried to give her a small nod as a greeting like one of those cool guys from the Grease movie, but I was just like air for her.
My mate hits me on the shoulder to make me listen. Without thinking about it I have turned my back to him while he was talking to me, just to get a better view of the girl. He looked kind of annoyed but I didn’t really care. I just looked back at the girl to study her pretty face. Her mouth was slightly open and her lips were moving like she was reading out loud without a sound. Her chin was a little tip and her cheeks were perfectly round and I am pretty sure that she had dimples when she smiled. God I would love to see her smile!
And god I would love to hear her voice. Her voice was as rare as her eyes. A few days ago she was standing up for an old man who came on the train. She said he could have her seat and I wanted to say thanks on behalf of the old man just so I could tell myself that I almost talked to her. I do not know what is wrong with me! I use to be that confident guy who can talk with everyone and is being social all day every day. But when she is near me my throat is dry like a desert and every time I think I got the courage to talk to her I turn around in the very last second.
There is just something about her that takes my breath away! Never have a girl had this affect on me before. She just has that one thing that I cannot describe but makes me melt in her presence and makes me act like an awkward idiot.
When the train rushes though London underground it throws people back and forward in the train and her hair is moving in the same movement like everything else. A lock of hair is hanging I front of her face and touches the books pages and she loosen her grip on the book to place the lock behind her ear and reveals some long black eyelashes which protects the mysterious eyes. The train stops yet another time and a girl on our age gets on the train at takes the seat next to the pretty girl. Maybe they are friends? But she keeps reading her book. Not looking up once. She never talks with anyone in the train. Maybe all her friends are from the northern side of London? Or maybe she is just a really shy person? I have never heard anyone say her name or talked directly to her like they knew her. What could her name be? I was thinking about asking her, but who am I kidding? The train stops at Kings Cross Station and everyone is getting off. My mate pulls my sleeve to make me come with him as I see the girl disappear in the chaos of people on the big station.
I am confident when I am sitting in the class and talks with my classmates before the lector shows up. A girl from my math class is sitting on my table and plays her fingers over my notebook while she is giving me a flirty glare. She was sweet and I smiled back at her, but she was not my type. Nobody was my type except the girl from the train. When the lector came into the class my mate patted me on the shoulder and took the seat behind me. He though the flirty girl was hot. No doubt. I looked around the class and noticed that the girl near the window almost had the same hair like my underground girl but she was still not as pretty. So it was not exactly the hair that I was attracted to. The girl who was sitting on my table the moment before smiled at me. The shape of her face was close to the girl from the train but she was not close to be as beautiful as her. Yet again I smiled back at her but my fantasy was playing with me and when I turn my head to the door my underground girl walked right in and headed my way. I widened my eyes and looked around at my classmates to watch their reaction to her but when I looked back at the door again she was gone. I closed my eyes for a few second and looked up again. She was still gone. It was all in my head.
I blushed like crazy when I saw her in the train on the way home. No one knew that I fantasized about her but it felt so real that I just waited for her to get over to me and ask me what my problem was. But she did not. She was just sitting there reading her book even though a lot was happening around her. A street musician got on the train at Old Street and he played his guitar in the other end of our carriage. When he finished people clapped at him but I had not been listening because I had my eyes on the girl. She suddenly laid down her book and reached down her satchel to get her wallet. The musician took of his hat and people gave him a few pounds. He nodded at the girl and she gave him two pounds and a smile. If I have not been standing against the steel pole to keep my balance I would have falling backward and rolling around on the floor of pure happiness. Her smile was perfect! Her cheeks moved slightly up and revealed the dimples I have been fantasizing about for so long. It was unbelievable! I found my wallet in my back pocket and gave him two pounds like the girl did and he smiled at me too. I wanted to hug him so bad for making her smile but he did smell like a garbage can. I just padded him on the shoulder before he jumped of the train again and the girl continued reading her book.
The episode in the class came back to me when I laid in my bed. She was walking straight to me like she knew me. But this time she smiled like she did at the street musician. I looked around to see the classroom disappear and turn into a park with trees around us and the sun was shining. Her hair was golden in the light. I have never seen it like that before because I only saw her I the dim light of the light bulb in the train. Her smile reached her eyes which were a mysterious blue colour. They had a special sparkle and maybe it was the thing that all the other girls missed? No it cannot be. I have barely seen the girl’s eyes.
She reached out her hand and I took it but I could not feel it. I expected a warm feeling would rush though my body but she was like air in my hand. It was like she was not there. Her face became blurred and a loud irritating noise made me gnash my teeth and suddenly I was back in my room. It was just a dream and the loud noise came from my alarm clock.
I looked around in my room. She was not there. I looked at the posters at the football player I barely knew who were but my mates talked about them all the time. Hanging over my desk was calendar with pin-up-girls on it. It was a gift from my mates for my birthday. I remember I smiled at them and made cheeky joke. They should have giving me two if the first one should be ruined. It was funny back then but now I did not really like it. The ladies did not mean anything to me. I stated to find some clothes and made myself ready for all the boring classes.
Of course she was in the train. Getting on at Elephant & Castle and she immediately sat down with her book like she always did. I was studying her like always and my mate had to shake me to get my attention. He wanted to show me a video on facebook. It was one of the lads from our college falling over because he drank too much. I laughed a little but looked back at the girl. Why could I not just go over there and talk to her? Why was I so weak? I froze in the same minute I thought about going over to her. My mate tried to find out what I was looking at and I just shook my head and got off the train with him and saw the girl disappear on the station yet again.
After the last lessons my mates went to Hyde Park to hang out instead of staying in the small yards around the college. Hyde Park is pretty big and a lot of people were coming to the park because the weather was extremely nice. A few of my friends had their bikes with them and laid them in the grass near us. I warned one of them that his bike was kind of laying on the trail but he said that it did not matter. The girl who was sitting on my table the other day was there too and she leaned closer and closer to me. She was wearing the shortest skirt I have ever seen. It was a little too much but I kind of liked the attention from her, so I did not move. Maybe it could let my mind somewhere else so I could stop thinking about the underground girl.
The underground girl. I stared at the girl in the short skirt and slowly my imagination turned her into the underground girl. Her chin was slightly pointier and she got dimples. I was now looking into the mysterious blue eyes from my dream the night before. I was too far gone from the reality when my mate started yelling at someone to watch out. I hear a scream behind me and a kick against my mate’s bicycle. Something heavy hit me and tackled me down on the grass. The air leaved my lungs a moment and when I open my eyes I only saw a lot of blond hair. The girl laid her hand on my chest to press herself up and got off me. The underground girl! The blond hair was messy. The round cheeks was pink of embarrassment and her eyes was now not so mysterious anymore. They were widened because of the shock but they had a beautiful blue colour and matched her hair and face perfectly.
“Sorry I did not see the bike! I am so so sorry!” she said in a low voice and moved a little away from me. One of my mates was hit be her flying book and was now handing it to her.
“It is okay. It happens! But what were you reading that was more interesting than the way you walked?” the words just came to me. I tried to smile confidently to her but it was impossible. I smiled like a crazy idiot because I was talking to the girl of my dreams. I have seen her smile. I have seen her blush. And then there was that little thing I could not describe but she had it and it made her perfect.
“It is Hamlet. Shakespeare.” She explained and played with a lock of her hair.
“Cool! But anyway what was your name?” I was dying to know her and I did not care how shy I was. She was so close. I wanted to be the one playing with her hair. I wanted to be the one pulling her close and whisper her name in a way so she felt loved. I wanted…!
“Jenn. My name is Jenn.” She said and smiled. I did not look or listen to anyone of my mates to know their reaction to her. I reached out my hand to Jenn like she did in my dream.
“Jenn. Do you want to hang with us?” Without looking at my mates she nodded and took my hand. This time I felt it all. My whole body exploded by the warmth from her hand while she got comfortable in the grass next to me. Her book was now closed and laid beside her. I smiled at her while she started talking with my mates.
Jenn. The Underground girl. She was right beside me. The girl that had that one thing I could not describe with words but did not want to say with words. Because Jenn was sitting right beside me and she was smiling back at me.