I felt myself falling rapidly back into a relationship with my best friend, ED. We’d been friends a few years ago, but I’d cut him out of my life when I met Mark. Mark made me want to be better and ED would never allow that. Let me explain ED: ED is a nickname I gave to my eating disorder, anorexia to be exact. By naming my disorder, I was able to separate myself from it. Ultimately, that was what helped me beat it. That…and Mark. But I’d always sort of missed ED. Even though he was slowly destroying me from the inside out, he was also one of the best friends I’d ever had. He kept me in line and when I was friends with ED I’d been the skinniest person I knew. A nice flat stomach, no fat rolls. I missed that desperately. Still, I knew the dangers of ED and I avoided him…until now. After buying the dress, I went home and made a diet and workout plan for myself. I hadn’t really been working out much, just enough to help ease my depression. However, my new plan called for a 1,200 calorie diet and 6 days a week of at least 1 hour workouts. I was abiding by this plan on top of taking diet pills and it was working great. I’d been losing 2-3 pounds per week and I was happy. But inside, I knew this was dangerous and I was teetering on the edge of the abyss. I didn’t really care as long as I looked good in the dress. I would deal with ED after the concert, but until then I was going to continue this little cha-cha I had going on with him.
Six weeks flew by! I shouldn’t have expected any different as I was busy literally almost sun up to sun down between work, school, and my rigorous workout regimen. I was more than grateful for the speedy time as I was certainly impatient to see my best friend! I hadn’t seen her since I moved to Indiana, which was over a year ago. We were long overdue for a reunion. I’d spent the last six weeks becoming more anxious and yet hopeful about the concert. Something good just had to happen. It had to. I knew this kind of thinking was only going to lead to disappointment, but for some reason I couldn’t shake it. My heart was full and my head was in the clouds; I was actually happy for the first time in six months, probably longer if I was being honest with myself. And that feeling was something I wasn’t prepared to let go of, even if it was based in daydreams instead of reality.
I pulled into the airport terminal area and parked in the drop-off lane. I dialed Laura and waited impatiently for her to answer.
“Hey!” I almost screamed when she finally did, “I’m here, outside baggage claim.”
“Awesome! I just got my suitcase. I’ll be right out!”
“Sweet! I’m at door 5.”
I hung up and leaned back in my seat. My hands were shaking; both from excitement and probably those damn diet pills. Or the lack of food currently being taken in by my body. Regardless, I didn’t care. The pills combined with a seven day juice cleanse and my intense workout and diet plan had caused me to lose 17 pounds. I certainly wasn’t where I wanted to be in terms of my body, but I was closer than I was six weeks ago. I’d tried my dress on yesterday and it fit. I didn’t have the flat stomach I desperately craved and was still disappointed in how I looked in the dress, but it looked alright. I certainly wasn’t going to stun anyone. Actually, the opposite would probably ring true; people would likely be disgusted at seeing all my fat poking out. I sighed deeply. At least it’d be dark in the arena and, hopefully, people would only be able to see things from my neck up.
“ONE DIRECTION!” Laura screamed, flinging open the back door and interrupting my thoughts. I looked back at her and grinned. She put her suitcase in the backseat and got into the passenger side.
“Vas happenin’?” I asked.
We both burst out laughing, the image of Zayn Malik saying that popping into our heads.
“The boys have infiltrated our minds,” I said, pulling onto the interstate.
Laura nodded, “They’re special.”
I grinned in agreement, “So, poster making tonight?”
I was very excited about the whole poster thing. I’d been to my fair share of concerts, but had never made a poster. I’d never really thought of anything clever to say that might catch the artist’s eye. But this time, I had the perfect saying.
"This is home sweet home," I said, opening the door into my apartment. I followed Laura in, carrying one of her suitcases.
"Nice!" she exclaimed.
"Thanks." It wasn't much, but it was mine and it was the first place I had ever lived on my own. I was pretty proud of it. I gave her the 'grand tour' and let her get settled in while I got all the supplies out for poster making. After a few minutes, Laura came out of the spare bedroom and glanced over my living room.
"Ready!" Laura said, flopping onto my living room floor.
We spent the next hour furiously working on our posters. I was in the zone. Neon markers and glow in the dark paint...these posters would be seen! We finished and and showed them off to each other.
"I would swim all the oceans just to see Niall smile," I read aloud. Laura's sign was a play on some One Direction lyrics and very clever since Niall and smile rhymed.
"I love it!" I grinned at her.
"Thanks," she smiled. "Let's see yours."
I flipped it around and displayed it proudly.
"I haven't met you and this is crazy, but here's my Twitter so follow maybe?" Laura read to me.
"Clever," she replied.
"Thanks. Since my Twitter name is on there, I hope one of them will follow me."
We cleaned up and sat on the couch for a while, just catching up on life. Finally, I glanced at the clock and realized it was already 1:00 am!
"Whoa! We need to get some sleep!" I exclaimed.
Laura took a peek at the clock and nodded.
We both headed for bed.
"Tomorrow will be the best day of our lives," I grinned at Laura as I went to my room.
"That's the plan," she laughed, closing the door to the spare bedroom.
I laid in bed for at least another hour before I was able to calm myself enough to find sleep. And I dreamed of everything that I hoped would happen tomorrow...the big day.