What do you do, when all odds it's against you? Well its simple you fight. Eversince i was a little girl, people always came to me saying how brave I was, how strong a fighter I was. Now age 17, still diagnosed with stage four Thyroid Cancer, i am continuing my fight. That's the thing about me, I'm a fighter and I will fight till my last good day. However you never know when it's your last good day, suddenly it's just there.
Many cancer kids hope that their last good day will never come, well-knowing that it will. But I don't. I don't hope my day won't come, 'cause being realistic we all know it will. My cancer isn't shrinking nor growing, it is living inside me kept down by Phalanxifor, which makes me a living grenade. But I'm not the only living grenade, there are thousand of us all over the world, Augustus was one of us.
Augustus Waters aka Gus, was my grenade. For a long time I thought I was the one to explode and leave a mess behind. I was wrong. He became the one to detonate first and blow up my world. That's how I ended here, shattered in a million pieces, it is just a side effect of life, and life comes with plenty of side effects. Even dead is just a side effect of life. Losing Augustus, the first and maybe even last love of my life, is yet just another side effect.
I would lie if I said his dead didn't hurt, because it did, and still do. On a scale from 1-10, my pain that came from losing Gus, would be a strong 10, and without the letter he wrote in his very last days, coping this would not be a possibility. It cheers me up a slightly bit, reading the wise words of Augustus Waters. He believed that in this world we dont have a choice whether we want to get hurt or not, but we do have something to say in who hurts us. Im glad to say it was an honor to have my heart broken by him, and i do not regret my choice. The little infinity we shared is hard to forget, i will keep it in my heart forever.