You, You, YOU!

Ta dah! This is my movella for you to say what you want about anything! Fan fictions, my movellas, your movella, somebody elses movella what ever! Just comment down below and watch out for the chapter based on what you said. Could it be simpler? No... So get commenting!

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3. Good Girls (CutieQueen)

A movellian by the name of Cutie Queen asked me to read her fantastic movella Good Girls.

It is a Five Seconds Of Summer fan fiction with a few types of strong language and a good plot line.

Good Points:

The characters personalities are clearly shown through out.

The use of grammar and punctuation is fantastic and used well.

The actual story line is intriguing and well thought.

Descriptions of what the characters are doing is very vivid in your mind and you can clearly see their actions and thoughts.

I especially like the name Lyla! Also, Violet is a very pretty name.

 

Things To Improve:

Since your doing it from two P.O.V then maybe split them up into separate chapters. This makes it easier for the reader to read and also makes the movella longer (which is always good)!

Try and describe the characters more. Their looks, personalities, interests so that the reader can feel more connected to the characters.

When a character speaks, start a new line. It just makes it clearer for the reader.

 

Basic Summary So Far:

Luke Hemmings wants Lyla to hang out with him and his friends. After all, he's the bad boy of the school. Every girl wants him except her. Rejecting him, he then tries to pick her up but she hits him and runs off.

Next it is free period where Lyla is in the library. Luke thinks this is boring but Lyla thinks otherwise and runs off to go sit with Violet. Luke runs after her and she runs away, desperate not to talk to him.

Thinking fast Lyla hides in the girls toilets, the only place Luke can't come. But Luke waits for everyone to come out and then goes in, checking the stalls for her. Luckily Lyla is right at the end and the Principal catches Luke, resulting in a detention for two weeks.

The next day Luke tells his friends that he and Lyla are a thing. It ends up spreading around the whole school and Lyla is furious. But that isn't all. Word got out that she slept with Luke and now she is classed as the school slut.

Now raging, Lyla and Luke have an argument and she storms off. She then talks to Violet who says every body hates her.

In Social Studies Lyla and Luke are paired up for a project. Lyla tries to protest but Luke interrupts. They decide on the topic of the project and whilst Lyla goes to find books, she leaves Luke to look up the project topic on the computer. After returning and discovering he was browsing through naked pictures of Megan Foxx, they have another argument and he agrees to stop slacking.

 

I highly suggest you update this! I would like to know what happens next. If you would like to read another Five Seconds Of Summer fan fiction, you can check out @whatthefanfiction's movella: Lucky Girl!

 

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