Like the waves of the sea (Sequel of my prince is in London English- Dutch book )

“You say it will be alright but look at us, tired of the things we used to want, we used to live for… “ I said, sighted, frustrated. He took me in his arms. "Shhh.... We have to fight, we have to live for them... " “You don’t know what I feel, I feel like an idiot who just gives up her ‘Belgian’ life for this paparazzi life and give it up for children when there is an end for them before yours” - Cover made by Megan_Aurea

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36. Why do you close the door for the girls?

English - Engels: 

The school has already started for our two girls so Niall and I were most of the times alone with Nathan. The last time Niall is only busy with Nathan. Lilly and Nina were almost crying because they thought Niall didn't love them. ‘Niall I’m going to get the girls from school!’ I yelled. I didn't heard anything... He was again busy with Nathan. I left, put my jacket on and went to the girls their school. ‘Mom!’ Nina shouted and Lilly ran to me.  

‘My two favorite  girls!’ I smiled. ‘Where’s daddy?’ Lilly asked. She missed him. In the past , Niall put her in her bed, and did even kisses fights with her. Even playing with her and her barbies. He was so crazy. He loves his daughters. But now he didn't show it. ‘Daddy had to stay with Nathan.’ I said.

‘Did he have to do that or is it just that he likes to do that instead of having fun with us?’ Nina asked. And my heart broke. ‘He had to do that.. He will be soon playing with you two. Give him some time.’ I said and went trough their hair. We walked home. Nina and Lilly ran inside of our house and yelled :  ‘Daddy’! No answer. ‘Come on girls, put your backpacks down and Nina we’re going to repeat your homework with reading and writting letters within a few minutes. Do you want something to eat girls?’ I asked them.

I gave them some fruit and then I went upstairs. I saw Niall playing with Nathan. I found it so cute but I had to break this moment. ‘Niall? I have to talk to you when the kids are in their beds! This can’t be further on like this.’ I said. He looked and nodded. Then he went further with putting Nathan in his crib.

I sighted. I walked back to Nina en Lilly. ‘What are you going to do Lilly? Drawing or something else?’ Lilly  nodded and kept herself busy with drawing. ‘Now here our oldest one. Come on we’ll start writing and reading.’ It went fluently. At the end she asked how she had to write our names. When she wrote Niall, she was so happy. She wanted to show it Niall but he hadn't had the attention for it. 

Nina was disappointed and it felt like she had been hated by her father. I called Megan for some advice. She proposed to send Niall and Harry with the girls to a park. Harry would take his daughter too. And then Megan would stay with Nathan and I .Megan is a sister and a best friend for me. I went today for a talk with Niall. 

We ate, Niall was there too but it was a deadly silence... I stopped Nina and Lilly in their beds. They cried. My heart just broke of it. ‘Why does daddy like that?’ Lilly asked. ‘He’s just confused. Forgive him for that. And hey, I’m here for you little girls of me.’ I said and pressed a kiss on their little foreheads. ‘If there’s something call mommy then.’ I said. I put the lights off and disappeared downstairs and saw Niall sitting with Nathan. 

I took Nathan over and put him in his crib. 'Hey!’ Niall said. 'It’s talking time Horan. I can’t hold this anymore! The girls are crying because they think you hate them. It breaks my heart. The only thing you’re doing is caring about Nathan. But there are the girls too.’ I held my tears in my eyes. I tried to take a breath. 'I know you love him and I know you love the girls and I. But you don’t show them it. Before Nathan or before all this happened, you played with them. You were even crazy to play with the barbies with them.’ I laughed with the thought of the barbies. He had to laugh too. I saw the old Niall , coming back again. 

‘Love…’ He tried to search for his words. ‘You don’t have to say anything Niall. But since when did you played with the girls? More than a month. You don’t even give them a lovely word. And what about me? I don’t even recognize my lovely husband. You promised me to be here since One Direction stopped. It looks like you wanted to find something to focus on the whole time now that you don’t have the band…’ I bursted out in tears.

I sat down and held my hands before my eyes. I felt two arms around me.  ‘Sorry that I wasn’t there for you and the girls. I want to change, for you and for the girls.’ He muttered. I saw a tear. ‘You don’t have to change, you just have to be the old Niall where I fell in love with. The old Niall who played barbie and sang songs with his two crazy daughters. The old Niall who fought for me or who cared for me.’

‘The old Niall is still here. Sorry for not showing.’ He said and hugged me softly. ‘Maybe you can start with saying sorry to the girls and Megan and I had an idea for it. You go with Harry and his little girl and our girls to a park and make it a beautiful day while Megan and I will stay here with Nathan.’ I said. He nodded. ‘I’m going to do everything what I have to do to get some trust back from my precious daughters. And from you.’ He said and gave me a kiss. A love kiss which was a long time ago that I got it. 

I was finally happy that he was back 'the old niall' and not anymore the ignoring Niall. ‘Let’s go to bed?’ He proposed and took my hand and we went upstairs. ‘I’m happy that you’re back.’ I smiled and put on my Pj's. I felt a warm chest again. The past weeks he slept with his back to me and with the most softly sound of Nathan, he stood up. Now I could sleep without any worries.
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Dutch - Nederlands : 

De school is begonnen voor onze twee meisjes dus Niall en ik waren meestal alleen met Nathan. De laatste tijd is Niall alleen maar bezig met Nathan. Lilly en Nina huilen bijna omdat ze denken dat Niall niet van hen houdt. ‘Niall I’m going to get the girls from school!’ riep ik. Ik hoorde niks… Hij was weer met Nathan bezig. Ik vertrok, deed mijn jas aan en wandelde naar hun school. ‘Mom!’ riep Nina al en Lilly kwam eraan gerend.

‘My two favorite  girls!’ glimlachte ik. ‘Where’s daddy?’ vroeg Lilly. Ze miste hem. Vroeger stopte hij haar in bed, deed een kusjesgevecht met haar. Zelfs speelde hij samen met haar met de barbies. Hij was zo gek. Hij houdt van zijn dochters. Maar nu laat hij het niet zo zien. ‘Daddy had to stay with Nathan.’ Zei ik.

‘Did he have to do that or is it just that he likes to do that instead of having fun with us?’ vroeg Nina. En mijn hart brak. ‘He had to do that.. He will be soon playing with you two. Give him some time.’ Zei ik en ging door hun haar. We wandelden naar huis. Nina en Lilly renden naar binnen en riepen ‘Daddy’! Geen antwoord. ‘Come on girls, put your backpacks down and Nina we’re going to repeat your homework with reading and writting letters within a few minutes. Do you want something to eat girls?’ vroeg ik hun.

Ik gaf hun fruit en daarna ging ik naar boven. Ik zag Niall met Nathan spelen. Ik vond het zo schattig maar ik moest dit moment verbreken. ‘Niall? I have to talk to you when the kids are in their beds! This can’t be further on like this.’ Zei ik. Hij keek om en knikte. Daarna ging hij verder met Nathan in bed stoppen.

Ik zuchte. Ik wandelde terug naar Nina en Lilly. ‘What are you going to do Lilly? Drawing or something else?’ Lilly knikte en hield zich bezig met tekeningen maken. ‘Now here our oldest one. Come on we’ll start writing and reading.’ Het ging vlot. Tegen het einde vroeg ze hoe ze onze namen moest schrijven. Toen ze Niall schreef was ze zo blij. Ze wou het aan Niall laten zien, maar hij had er geen aandacht voor.

Nina was teleurgesteld en voelde alsof ze gehaat werd door haar vader. Ik belde Megan voor wat raad. Ze stelde voor om Niall met Harry en de meisjes naar een park te gaan. Harry zou zijn dochtertje ook meenemen. En dan bleef Megan bij mij en Nathan. Megan is een zus en een beste vriendin voor me. Ik ging vandaag nog met Niall praten.

We aten, ook Niall zat erbij maar het was doodstil… Ik stopte Nina en Lilly in bed. Ze huilden. Mijn hart brak gewoon. ‘Why does daddy like that?’ vroeg Lilly. ‘He’s just confused. Forgive him for that. And hey, I’m here for you little girls of me.’ Zei ik en drukte een kus op hun voorhoofdjes. ‘If there’s something call mommy then.’ Zei ik. Ik deed het licht uit en verdween naar beneden en zag Niall zitten met Nathan.

Ik pakte Nathan over en zette hem in de wieg. ‘Hey!’ riep Niall. ‘It’s talking time Horan. I can’t hold this anymore! The girls are crying because they think you hate them. It breaks my heart. The only thing you’re doing is caring about Nathan. But there are the girls too.’ Ik hield mijn tranen in. Ik probeerde terug te ademen. ‘I know you love him and I know you love the girls and I. But you don’t show them it. Before Nathan or before all this happened, you played with them. You were even crazy to play with the barbies with them.’ Ik lachte met het gedacht van de barbies. Hij moest ook even lachen. Ik zag de oude Niall terug komen.

‘Love…’ Hij probeerde zijn woorden te zoeken. ‘You don’t have to say anything Niall. But since when did you played with the girls? More than a month. You don’t even give them a lovely word. And what about me? I don’t even recognize my lovely husband. You promised me to be here since One Direction stopped. It looks like you wanted to find something to focus on the whole time now that you don’t have the band…’ Ik barste in tranen uit.

Ik ging zitten en hield mijn handen voor mijn ogen. Ik voelde twee armen rond mij. ‘Sorry that I wasn’t there for you and the girls. I want to change, for you and for the girls.’ Prevelde hij. Ik zag bij hem een traan. ‘You don’t have to change, you just have to be the old Niall where I fell in love with. The old Niall who played barbie and sang songs with his two crazy daughters. The old Niall who fought for me or who cared for me.’

‘The old Niall is still here. Sorry for not showing.’ Zei hij en knuffelde me zacht. ‘Maybe you can start with saying sorry to the girls and Megan and I had an idea for it. You go with Harry and his little girl and our girls to a park and make it a beautiful day while Megan and I will stay here with Nathan.’ Zei ik. Hij knikte. ‘I’m going to do everything what I have to do to get some trust back from my precious daughters. And from you.’ Zei hij en gaf me een kus. Een liefdeskus dat lang geleden was.

Ik was eindelijk blij dat hij terug ‘the old Niall’ wil zijn en niet meer de negerende Niall. ‘Let’s go to bed?’ stelde hij voor en nam mijn hand en samen gingen we naar boven. ‘I’m happy that you’re back.’ Glimlachte ik en deed mijn pyjama aan. Ik voelde zijn warme borst weer. De afgelopen weken sliep hij met zijn rug naar mij en bij het kleinste geluidje van Nathan stond hij op. Nu sliep ik eindelijk zorgeloos. 

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