Like the waves of the sea (Sequel of my prince is in London English- Dutch book )

“You say it will be alright but look at us, tired of the things we used to want, we used to live for… “ I said, sighted, frustrated. He took me in his arms. "Shhh.... We have to fight, we have to live for them... " “You don’t know what I feel, I feel like an idiot who just gives up her ‘Belgian’ life for this paparazzi life and give it up for children when there is an end for them before yours” - Cover made by Megan_Aurea

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47. There always will be someone for you

Note: sorry for the sad chapters , there will be one or two extra chapters and then it will be the ending of this book. I have actually no inspiration more for this that's why the ending is so sad , I'm sorry.

English - Engels :

Today I went back to the doctor. He would have the results. I already prepared myself for the worst. Since a few weeks, I felt sick and bad. On my age, more than 80 years old, it could be normal at all. 'Nina's here love.' I heard Niall saying. I looked into the mirror. He had no judgement. I walked to my daughter. She gave me her hand and brought me to the hospital.  ‘Sure that you wanna go alone?’ She asked me before I went inside. I nodded. 

Good or bad news, it was about me. ‘Misses Horan?’ The doctor said and I just nodded. I sat down in a chair in his office. ‘It isn’t good news, the results are cancer. We can’t do any treatment, only to live longer but that’s it. Being healthy again is impossible. ’ He said like it was his daily task to say that. 

I would cry, but I didn't.  ‘I hope you still can enjoy the time you have with your family, I’m sorry for the news.’ I left the room and drove back to the home for the elderly with Nina. There Niall waited for me. I didn't wanna see him that moment. ‘Hey love, how was the doctor?’ He asked. ‘Good. Nothing to worry.’ I lied. I didn't want to ruin his life. Days I kept it as a secret. I wanted to organise everything before I died. I hadn't a lot of days anymore for it, at least a month according to the doctor. 

A week later, it was the moment I told him the news. ‘Niall can you please come here?’ I asked him softly. ‘I am here love. What’s wrong?’ ‘I haven’t told you something yet… I’m going to die… Cancer the doctor told me.’ I said with tears in my eyes. Niall was astonished. He took me in his arms. ‘Don’t leave me, please.’ He whispered softly in my hair. ‘I can’t Niall but I have to…’ I cried. 

‘Everything is prepared for next week.’ I said and he took me thightly in his arms.  ‘It can’t please. I need you. I can’t live without you. ‘ He held my head in his hands and looked me in the eyes. Tears were in his eyes. ‘Does our children know it?’ He asked. I shook my head. ‘You‘re the first one who knows it now.’

‘You have to tell them that.’ Niall said, still tears in his eyes. ‘I’m scared Niall. Scared of how they react. Like you reacted.’ His shaking hands rubbed my back. ‘You have to tell them even if you’re scared.’ Niall called the kids and we told them the news together. Everyone was shocked.

The day of truth came. Niall and I had enjoyed everything , even the smallest things. And he still told me things like 'i love you' , so I couldn't forget it. Today I would go, heaven or hell I don't know. One thing I know I would miss Niall and the rest of the family. I became very weak and I couldn't go out of my bed. 

The kids and grandchildren came here too. Each of them gave me a kiss and a little speech. The tears streamed down my cheeks. Then they left the room, only Niall was still there. ‘Niall. Take care of yourself, find someone else to be happy until your death. You need love, and I can’t give it anymore. There will be someone to replace me, believe me.’ I said. ‘But I can’t find someone like you, you’re the only one in my life. I love you, every day still more and more and now I realise it’s too late to say it.’ He cried in my arms

Then everything happened. After swallow the medicines, Niall stayed with me until I slept eternally. He sang softly something for me. Then my eyes closed. 

From now on, it'll be Nialls pov or nobodys pov - 

Nialls pov : 

The love of my life is dead. I gave her a last kiss before I left the room. Nurses whined that I had to leave the room. When the funeral came, I fell down deep. The kids decided to send someone every night to take care of me. Every night I saw my wife in my dreams. She still told me to be strong and to find someone who I could love again. 

Every week I went to the cementary. Every week she gets a bouquet of flowers from me on her grave. This week Lilly went with me to the cementary. It was a year ago that her momdied, the love of my life.  ‘Here we are again, love. I can’t forget you even if time goes further. I hope that I’ll be soon there where you are. Every week you get flowers from me. I hope you’re happy with it. I love you, I love you so much.’ I knelt down and looked at the text on her grave. Eline Horan 1996 – 2078 A wonderful woman, loved by Niall James Horan and his family.’

Lilly came closer to the grave. ‘Mom, I miss you. Every advice you gave me I still use them. I visit dad every day but there misses something in his room, it’s you. ‘ Lilly laid her flowers also on the grave. 

Lilly brought me back to the home for the elderly and then there I thought about the past, the memories I had. Everyday I talk with someone about how much I loved my wife, and what she did. I had a carreer and she made sure that everything will be alright what isn't my carreer. Like taking care of the children, she did it with love, even if she expected that i would do more where I could.  

But she always stays for me, even if I did things which were unforgivable. ‘Be that man who laughs all the time again Niall I beg you.’ I heard my wife saying in my head. I smiled. I had to listen to her and laugh more. So I could be there with her sooner.  

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Dutch - Nederlands : 

Vandaag ging ik terug naar de dokter. Hij zou resultaten hebben. Ik vrees voor het ergste. Sinds enkele weken voel ik me ziek en slecht. Op mijn leeftijd, meer dan 80 jaar, kan het wel normaal zijn. ‘Nina’s here love.’ Hoorde ik Niall zeggen. Ik keek  in de spiegel. Die had nog geen oordeel. Ik wandelde naar mijn dochter. Ze gaf me een hand en bracht me naar het ziekenhuis. ‘Sure that you wanna go alone?’ vroeg ze nog voor ik binnen ging. Ik knikte.

Goed of slecht nieuws, het ging toch over mij. ‘Misses Horan?’ zei de dokter en ik knikte maar. Ik ging zitten in zijn kantoor. ‘It isn’t good news, the results are cancer. We can’t do any treatment, only to live longer but that’s it. Being healthy again is impossible. ’ Zei hij alsof het zijn dagelijkse taak was om het te zeggen.

Ik zou huilen, maar dat deed ik niet. ‘I hope you still can enjoy the time you have with your family, I’m sorry for the news.’ Ik verliet de kamer en reed samen met Nina naar het rusthuis. Daar wachtte Niall al op mij. Ik wou hem niet zien. ‘Hey love, how was the doctor?’ vroeg hij. ‘Good. Nothing to worry.’ Loog ik. Ik wou zijn leven niet verpesten. Dagen hield ik het geheim voor hem. Ik wou alles regelen voor ik stierf. Ik had niet lang meer hoogstens een maand volgens de dokters.

Een week later was het toen ik het hem vertelde. ‘Niall can you please come here?’ vroeg ik hem zacht. ‘I am here love. What’s wrong?’ ‘I haven’t told you something yet… I’m going to die… Cancer the doctor told me.’ Zei ik met tranen in mijn ogen. Niall was verbaasd. Hij nam me in zijn armen. ‘Don’t leave me, please.’ Fluisterde hij zachtjes in mijn haar. ‘I can’t Niall but I have to…’ huilde ik.

‘Everything is prepared for next week.’ Zei ik en hij nam me stevig in zijn armen. ‘It can’t please. I need you. I can’t live without you. ‘ Hij houdde mijn hoofd vast en keek me in de ogen. Tranen waren er in zijn ogen. ‘Does our children know it?’ vroeg hij. Ik schudde mijn hoofd. ‘You‘re the first one who knows it now.’

‘You have to tell them that.’ Zei Niall, steeds tranen in zijn ogen. ‘I’m scared Niall. Scared of how they react. Like you reacted.’ Zijn trillende handen wreven over mijn rug. ‘You have to tell them even if you’re scared.’ Niall belde de kinderen op en we vertelden het samen. Iedereen was in shock.

De dag van de waarheid kwam eraan. Niall en ik hadden zo vaak genoten van de kleinste dingen. En steeds vertelde hij me dingen zoals ‘ik hou van je’, zodat ik het niet meer vergat. Vandaag zou ik gaan, hemel of hel weet ik niet. Een ding weet ik, ik zou Niall en de rest van de familie missen. Ik was heel zwak geworden en kon het bed niet meer uit.

De kinderen kwamen samen met de kleinkinderen. Elk van hen gaf me een kus en een kleine speech. De tranen stroomden over mijn wangen. Toen verlieten ze de kamer, alleen Niall was er nog steeds. ‘Niall. Take care of yourself, find someone else to be happy until your death. You need love, and I can’t give it anymore. There will be someone to replace me, believe me.’ Zei ik. ‘But I can’t find someone like you, you’re the only one in my life. I love you, every day still more and more and now I realise it’s too late to say it.’ Hij huilde in mijn armen.

Toen kwam alles eraan. Na alle medicijnen te slikken, bleef Niall tot ik voor eeuwig sliep. Hij zong zachtjes voor me. Toen vielen mijn ogen toe.

Vanaf nu zal het in Nialls pov zijn of nobodys pov – Nialls pov-

De liefde van mijn leven is dood. Ik gaf haar nog een laatste kus voor ik de kamer verliet. Verpleegsters zeurden dat ik de kamer moest verlaten. Toen de begravenis er was, zakte ik in. De kinderen besloten om elke nacht iemand te sturen. Elke nacht zag ik mijn vrouw nog in mijn dromen. Steeds vertelde ze me om vol te houden en iemand te zoeken die ik graag zou kunnen zien.

Elke week ging ik naar het kerkhof. Elke week kreeg ze een bos bloemen op haar graf. Deze week ging Lilly mee. Het was een jaar geleden dat haar mama stierf, de liefde van mijn leven. ‘Here we are again, love. I can’t forget you even if time goes further. I hope that I’ll be soon there where you are. Every week you get flowers from me. I hope you’re happy with it. I love you, I love you so much.’ Ik knielde neer en keek naar het opschrift: Eline Horan 1996 – 2078 A wonderful woman, loved by Niall James Horan and his family.’

Lilly kwam dichterbij het graf. ‘Mom, I miss you. Every advice you gave me I still use them. I visit dad every day but there misses something in his room, it’s you. ‘ Lilly legde haar bloemen ook neer.

Lilly bracht me terug naar het rusthuis en daar haalde ik herinneringen terug op. Elke dag praatte ik met andere over hoe graag ik haar zag, en wat ze allemaal deed. Ik had een carrière en zij zorgde ervoor dat wat daar niet mee te maken had, dat dat toch in orde kwam. Zoals op de kinderen letten, dat deed ze met liefde ook al verwachtte ze dat ik meer met ze deed waar ik kon.

Maar ze bleef altijd bij me, ook al deed ik dingen die niet te vergeten waren. ‘Be that man who laughs all the time again Niall I beg you.’ Hoorde ik mijn vrouw in mijn hoofd zeggen. Ik glimlachte. Ik moest naar haar luisteren en wat meer lachen. Zo zou ik sneller bij haar kunnen zijn. 

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