Like the waves of the sea (Sequel of my prince is in London English- Dutch book )

“You say it will be alright but look at us, tired of the things we used to want, we used to live for… “ I said, sighted, frustrated. He took me in his arms. "Shhh.... We have to fight, we have to live for them... " “You don’t know what I feel, I feel like an idiot who just gives up her ‘Belgian’ life for this paparazzi life and give it up for children when there is an end for them before yours” - Cover made by Megan_Aurea

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5. Niall and Nina, or just Nina?

English - Engels: 

My head looked like he had a war this morning. I looked forward to Niall and also not. A shiver went over my whole body. I went to little Nina, to look at her. She slept so cute. I gave her a kiss on her forehead. I changed myself. I thought after breakfast to go immediately to Niall. He got one day on this moment from me. I ate quickly something and then I took Nina's bottle and let her drink. 

I made a bag with diapers, bottles, clothes,... for Nina. I stayed with her when she is with Niall. I didn't trust it anymore. Who knows if Jenny would stand there back. I decided to get some food for myself. He maybe thinkgs that I let him alone with Nina. Nina is my everything from now on. In the past was Niall that together with Nina. 

I gave Harry a hug and a kiss on his cheek. I gave Megan a hug too and held her for a whilebefore I left to go to Niall. I had Nina in my arms with her green dress with the letters: ‘I’m from a leprechaun.’ Niall would absolutely like that. I rang the doorbell. He stood there in his boxers. I laughed. ‘I thought I would come in the morning with Nina so you had a lot of time with her.’ I said shyly. He nodded and let me in. ‘Wait a second. I’m gonna change myself. You know everything. It’s still your house.’ He said. It wasn't my house anymore... I decided to sit down on the couch. 

I looked around, nothing changed. I felt weird. This is my house, but it isn't anymore. After a time Niall came in a jeans downstairs and put on his shirt in the living room. ‘Where’s my little princess!’ Niall said and took Nina out of my arms. I believed again that he could take care of her. ‘I’m going then. I pick her up at 5 PM if it’s okay?’ I said and stood up. ‘You don’t have to go away.’ He said. I looked at him. Could I do this? ‘If you really want to, I’d love to.’ Zei ik. ‘I’d love to have you here. Who’s better in taking care of Nina than you?’ He laughed. 

I smiled softly. ‘So you two will stay until 5 PM?’ He said to break the silence. ‘It depends on how Nina is.' I said. ‘Can’t you two stay here? Or at least Nina?’ ‘Niall it’s too early for me.. I can’t forget what happened two days ago…’ I sighted. Niall rocked Nina asleep and went with a finger over her nose. ‘I still can’t believe she’s ours.’ ‘Me neither.’ I laughed. ‘I’m gonna lay her in the crib.’ He said and laid her in the crib that we had bought for downstairs. I saw him laughing when he went to me. She lie so beautiful in her crib. I felt Niall next to me.  

‘Thank you that you came here with Nina. I know it’s hard for you.’ He said and I looked at me. ‘You’re welcome. She needs her father and you are her father.’ I explained. He nodded.  ‘Do you think it will be ever good between us?’ He asked insecure. ‘If we build it slowly up, I think yes.’ ‘I hope so, I can’t live without you. ‘ He said and brought his face closer to me. I was shocked. He wanted to kiss me. ‘I cant...’ I whispered softly and nearly breathed in his face. 

‘Remember the time we were just friends, where you were blindfolded. You know when you kissed me and Harry. You chose Harry instead of me but you wanted me. All the feelings we had these years, can’t be faded away.’ He explained like a speech. I shook my head. ‘They aren’t away. They’re still here , only scared to be hurt again.’ I said softly. ‘Let me prove what it was like then.’ He said and put off his shirt and used it as a blindfold for my eyes. I smelled his 'eau de cologne' , delicious smell like always. 

I was scared because I knew he would kiss and he could ever convince me. I waited impatiently until his lips touched mine. They touched me and I felt the love again that I felt between Niall and I. I couldn't do it. I couldn't kiss him back. ‘Why didn’t you kiss back?’ He said disappointed. ‘Niall... I felt the love but I couldn’t…’ I cried. He put off the shirt of my head and took me in his arms. 

I heard Nina crying. I wanted to stand up but Niall did it. ‘It’s our child, not only yours.’  He laughed. He gave her her bottles, love and put her in her crib. ‘Oh yeah, forgot to say, your mother called. They can’t come to London so they said we had to come to Belgium. I didn’t say that we broke up because I believe we are strong to survive. Maybe a week Belgium can make us better.’ He said. He was honest. ‘I want to try… just for Nina and everyone who believes in us. I love you…’ I said softly. 

He smiled and took me in his arms and kissed my hair. I stayed for lunch and dinner. We talked about everything. Even about Jenny. He told me honest what happened and why it happened. Yesterday she came back, he didn't want it but she had all the power of him. I felt more insecure if it happened again. 

I don't know how it went but at the evening  I didn't realize that I had to go home with Nina. Who knows what happened? I don't know it anymore.

___________________

Nederlands - Dutch : 

Mijn hoofd leek een oorlog te hebben deze ochtend. Hij keek uit naar Niall en toch niet. Een rilling gleed over heel mijn lichaam. Ik ging naar kleine Nina kijken. Ze sliep zo schattig. Ik gaf haar een kus op haar voorhoofd. Ik kleedde mij aan. Ik dacht na het ontbijt direct naar Niall te gaan. Hij krijgt maar een dag van mij op dit moment. Ik ging snel nog wat eten en daarna pakte ik Nina’s flesje en gaf haar eten.

Ik maakte een zak met luiers,flesjes, kleren,... voor Nina. Ik bleef bij haar als ze bij Niall was. Ik vertrouwde het niet meer. Wie weet zou die Jenny daar terug zijn? Dit was Niall zijn moment om met Nina bezig te zijn en niet met Jenny. Ik besloot ook om wat eten voor mezelf mee te nemen. Hij denkt misschien dat ik hem alleen laat met Nina. Nina is mijn alles vanaf nu. Vroeger was hij dat samen met Nina.

Ik gaf Harry een knuffel en een kus op zijn wang. Megan gaf ik ook een knuffel en hield het even vast voor ik naar Niall vertrok. Ik had Nina in haar groen jurkje met de letter ‘I’m from a leprechaun.’ Dat zou Niall vast leuk vinden. Ik belde aan. Hij stond in zijn boxers. Ik lachte. ‘I thought I would come in the morning with Nina so you had a lot of time with her.’ Zei ik verlegen. Hij knikte en liet me binnen. ‘Wait a second. I’m gonna change myself. You know everything. It’s still your house.’ Zei hij. Het was niet meer mijn huis... Ik besloot om op de bank te gaan zitten.

Ik keek in het rond, niets veranderd. Ik voelde me raar. Dit is mijn huis, maar dit is het nu niet meer. Na een tijdje was hij daar in een jeans en toen hij in de living liep deed hij zijn t-shirt nog aan. ‘Where’s my little princess!’ zei Niall en pakte Nina in haar armen. Ik geloofde terug dat hij voor haar kon zorgen. ‘I’m going then. I pick her up at 5 PM if it’s okay?’ zei ik en stond recht. ‘You don’t have to go away.’ Zei hij. Ik keek hem aan. Kon ik dit wel? ‘If you really want to, I’d love to.’ Zei ik. ‘I’d love to have you here. Who’s better in taking care of Nina than you?’ zei hij lachend.

Ik glimlachte zachtjes. ‘So you two will stay until 5 PM?’ zei hij om de stilte te breken. ‘It depends on how Nina is.’ Zei ik. ‘Can’t you two stay here? Or at least Nina?’ ‘Niall it’s too early for me.. I can’t forget what happened two days ago…’ zuchte ik. Niall wiegde Nina in slaap en ging met een vinger over haar neusje. ‘I still can’t believe she’s ours.’ ‘Me neither.’ Lachte ik. ‘I’m gonna lay her in the crib.’ Zei hij en legde haar in het wiegje dat we voor beneden hadden gekocht. Ik zag hem lachend naar me toelopen. Ze lag zo mooi in haar wiegje. Ik voelde Niall naast me.

‘Thank you that you came here with Nina. I know it’s hard for you.’ Zei hij en ik keek hem aan. ‘You’re welcome. She needs her father and you are her father.’ Legde ik uit. Hij knikte. ‘Do you think it will be ever good between us?’ vroeg hij onzeker. ‘If we build it slowly up, I think yes.’ ‘I hope so, I can’t live without you. ‘ zei hij en hij bracht zijn gezicht dichterbij. Ik was geschrokken. Hij wou me kussen. ‘I cant...’ fluisterde ik zacht en ademde bijna in zijn gezicht.

‘Remember the time we were just friends, where you were blindfolded. You know when you kissed me and Harry. You chose Harry instead of me but you wanted me. All the feelings we had these years, can’t be faded away.’ Legde hij uit zoals een speech. Ik schudde mijn hoofd. ‘They aren’t away. They’re still here , only scared to be hurt again.’ Zei ik zacht. ‘Let me prove what it was like then.’ Hij zei en hij deed zijn t-shirt uit en gebruikte die als blinddoek voor mijn ogen. Ik rook zijn ‘eau de cologne’, heerlijke geur zoals altijd.

Ik was bang want ik wist dat hij me ging kussen en me ooit zou kunnen overtuigen. Ik wachtte ongeduldig tot zijn lippen mijne raakte. Ze raakten me en ik voelde terug de liefde die ik had tussen mij en Niall. Ik kon het niet. Ik kon hem niet terug kussen. ‘Why didn’t you kiss back?’ zei hij teleurgesteld. ‘Niall... I felt the love but I couldn’t…’ huilde ik. Hij deed zijn t-shirt van mijn hoofd af en nam me in zijn armen.

Ik hoorde Nina huilen. Ik wou rechtstaan maar Niall deed het. ‘It’s our child, not only yours.’ Lachte hij. Hij gaf haar eten, liefde en stopte haar terug in bed. ‘Oh yeah, forgot to say, your mother called. They can’t come to London so they said we had to come to Belgium. I didn’t say that we broke up because I believe we are strong to survive. Maybe a week Belgium can make us better.’ Zei hij. Hij was oprecht. ‘I want to try… just for Nina and everyone who believes in us. I love you…’ zei ik zachtjes.

Hij glimlachte en nam me in zijn armen en kuste mijn haar. Ik bleef bij hem eten ’s middags en ’s avonds. We praten over alle dingen. Zelfs over Jenny. Hij vertelde me eerlijk wat er gebeurde en waarom het gebeurde. Gisteren kwam ze ook, hij wou weigeren maar ze had hem al in haar macht. Ik voelde me nog meer onzeker als het terug gebeurde.

Ik weet niet hoe het kwam maar tegen de avond had ik niet eens door dat ik naar huis moest gaan met Nina. Wie weet wat er toen gebeurde? Ik herinner me het niet meer. 

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