The last day in Sydney. Tomorrow is the day we go on tour. I am ecstatic that this day has finally come. We get to perform every night and get noticed my managers and other performers. This could be our big break. We could be the next big boy band, even though we are a band of boys.
Even though I am jumping off the walls because of my excitement there is something that is bugging me.
I told her everything will be okay and she will always be my one and only but what happens if in those ten months she finds someone else? I know I am over thinking but she is just so god damn gorgeous I know everyone will chase her down. But she is my Rina. I know her too well. She is loyal and she will remain mine. She brings out the best of me and I know for a fact that she will always be there for me.
Today we are all meeting at Ashton's for a little going away party. It's only going to be the lads, Rina, Liz, and I but its still like a party because we are all crazy. Sadly, I think that this won't end up being like our other get togethers.
No laughter or stupid dares. No random giggles and kid movies.
It's going to be a party of tears. And the girls will be causing most of them, not to be stereotypical.
But knowing Ashton and Calum they will cry me a river of tears.
I am heading over to Ashton's right now. I am 30 minutes late but that's because I needed to finish packing. I finally have a good excuse for being late for something. I knock on the door.
I don't hear the loud and happy yells I am used to hearing when we hang out. Instead I hear nothing. Complete silence as I wait for someone to answer the door.
A depressed looking Ashton opens the door and says sorry to me quietly.
I have no clue why he apologized but I just walked in and see everyone. Some people look disappointed while others are crying.
I make eye contact with Rina.
She looks at me. She is hurt and sad. Seeing her with make up running down her face and her tear stained cheeks just breaks me. I hate seeing her upset and knowing I'm the reason makes this all worse.
I open my arms and she runs into them.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" she keeps mumbling into my chest.
"Hey I'm the one who should be sorry." I say while kissing her forehead.
"Trust me. I should be sorry." She says.
I slowly let go of her while giving her a confused look on my face. What was that supposed to mean?
"I love you." She starts and I nod. "But we-" she says but a sob comes out instead of the end of her sentence.
Tears brim my eyes because I know what she is going to say after this.
I can't let her dump me.
She is my life. My life source. With out her in some screwed up mess that has no purpose. I can't let her leave me. I need to know that she is in my arms and nobody else's.
"No." I choke out as I begin to sob as well.
"We have to end this." She says.
"It's only 10 months. We can do this. Video chats, texting, anything." I say practically begging her.
"It won't be only ten months. I'm moving, Luke." She says finally making eye contact with me. "To Africa. And the only possibility of me staying is if I live with Liz but we all know her parents won't let that happen."
I am broken.
I won't ever see her again? Is that what is happening? Does God hate me that fucking much to let the love of my life move to a different continent?
"You can't." Is the only thing I can say.
"I'm sorry baby. I will find a way to get back to you. Until then we can't be together. I am in love with you Luke Robert Hemmings and always will me. I will love you until I die and even after that. Remember me." She cries out and I cry with her.
"I love you forever,
Like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be." I whisper a quote from our favourite children's book "I love you forever".
I bring her close to me as our lips make contact and I feel those familiar sparks I have always felt.
Every time we kiss I fall in love with her all over again.
But it pains me to think I will never feel her warmth against me again.
IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY
Don't hate me