I couldn't help but think of Cody... a lot. It was almost harder losing Cody than Sam. I care about him a lot. I kept replaying the fight over and over in my head. Did I have feelings for Cody? No, I can't, I have a boyfriend. Speaking of him, Sam and I are going to the beach with Ryleigh and Jake. Yeah they are pretty much dating now. They're cute together. Doing things with Sam just didn't seem all that exciting anymore. I don't know, just no sparks flying. I layed in bed thinking for what seemed like hours and finally got up to get ready.
Ry got all of us drinks and we were soaking up the sun. It was a beautiful day, sun out, hot, no complaints! I mostly relaxed and tanned while they swam on and off.
"Are you ok Al? You seem quite
"Oh I'm fine" Lie. Feeling pretty crappy actually.
"Ok it just seems like your pretty quite"
"No I'm fine" Lies. In some ways Sam can never light me up the way Cody does. In certain ways, he makes me happy and I love being around him. Being away from him makes me sad and bored all the time. No one I can really talk to anymore. I need to make this right, but how? He wasn't going to accept Sam and I, so really... How?
More weeks went by, of course nothing special going on. Just living that's all and not in the way I want. Cody just walks by me in the school hallways and doesn't even look at me. It so heartbreaking. I need him. I tried to call him, but nothing, no returned calls. Graduation was coming up so I guess that's something to look forwards too. I'm starting to feel desperate to have Cody back. I think I'm falling in love with Cody. Signs show it, I miss him, he makes me smile constantly, he makes me feel special and happy, I really... really like him. I'm giving a Sam a second chance and I can't just dump him. I still care about him, he is my boyfriend. I've got to have some time with myself. I quickly grabbed my vans and was out the door in an instant. Don't know where I was going, but I just need to get away from all of this. I hopped into my car and just drove. Being by myself brought some peace. I was away from all of my problems.
There was one place I knew would be a good place, the beach. It wasn't the public, crowded part that everyone knows of. Years ago I found this one part on the other side which almost no one knew about, except for Cody and I. We used to go here often and we had the whole place to ourselves. It was empty when I got there, perfect. Quite beautiful place actually, I sat down in the sand and watched the waves roll by. My feet dug into the warm sand as the waves touched the tips of my toes.
I came home just as Jake was leaving the house.
"What's up Ry?"
"Um, me, nothing. What's up with you?"
"Nothing much came from the beach"
"Hmmmmm nothing much? How have you been really, you seem sad"
"It's fine.... It's nothing"
"Ally I'm your best friend, I know you! Your lying to me..."
"Yeah I'm not fine. I am constantly thinking about Cody. I miss him so so so much. I can't stand this anymore, I just.... I don't know.... Like him.... A lot"
"Oh my gosh Al I didn't know you had feelings for him, I know this has been really hard on you. He has only talked to me a few times at school and he seems sad."
"Well I do care about Sam as you know, but I can't stop thinking about Cody, he just makes me so happy and without him I just feel... Empty."
"I know... I know. At least graduation is coming up next week so that'll be something to get out of the way."
"Yeah for sure, no more school!"
"Um yeah but then collage...."
"Shit forgot about that..."
"Well at least there will be kick ass parties to celebrate!"
"Yeah! Wow, I haven't really been this lively in a while"
"Well this is good, cheer up!"
Sorry it was a bit before I updated, but thank you so much for commenting and liking. Now I have over a 100 reads!!! I will make sure this is updated within the next few days because I am excited for what is coming up!