Last night I had stayed with belle and told her everything. Belle is the only person that I've opened up to about how I feel.
At first I didn't want to tell her because I thought she would judge me. My past is horrible and I'm still trying to get my life together.
Ever since I've met belle she's been a big part of my life. I know that in a few days the lads and I leave to go visit our families but I don't want to.
I'll miss belle so much, and I don't know when I'll see her again.
"Belle don't you think that you should go back to school soon?" I say looking at her. "Yeah I want to go back Jes, but it's hard. I've been thinking about just dropping school for a few months and just work until I figure things out" she says with a stern look on her face.
"Look, I don't want to tell you what to do with your life, but go live your life belle. Please finish school since you're already enrolled. I don't want you to take off because I know you won't go back." I grabbed my phone looking at it before putting it on the coffee table.
"I know I will go back to school next week, it's just so much to take in." She says sad "Lets go out and forget about all of this stress that you're having. Dinner with the girls and I tonight yeah?" I say happily
"I'd love to!" Belle smiles "I love seeing you smile belle, not sad.
After, me and Jesy had our talk I just didn't feel the same anymore. She's right. I really need to find myself so I can go back to school.
There's times when I just lay here in bed and think, Why am I not in school? I want to go back and do what I love but I'm just scared of being picked on.
I don't have any friends and I feel like I'm starting all over again. It's not just about being by myself, it's just I hate being alone all the time.
After the guys leave and when Jesy leaves I'll have nobody. Don't get me wrong I'm very independent and I love not depending on anybody but I want somebody to look after me.
While getting up off of the bed my phone begins to ring. I try and ignore it but it keeps buzzing. I grab my phone and look at the screen. It reads Harry's name across it.
"Harry, I can't talk right now." I say before almost hanging up
"Belle, don't you dare hang up this phone. I want to talk to you and I hate how you been blowing me off." He says angry
"I haven't been blowing you off Harry, I've been try to get myself together."
"Sorry for yelling at you. I just felt like after I opened up to you, you don't want to talk to me"
"I do want to talk. I've been just focused on myself lately."
"You want to talk about it?" he says in almost a whisper
"No, I don't want to talk about it. Anyways, have you seen Liam around?"
"Yes, I have. He's been at Louis house lately."
"Oh... well can you tell me his address? I haven't seen him and want to see how he's doing, instead of calling him."
"Yeah I'll just text it to you." He said
"Thanks Harry for everything"
"Anytime belle" He said then hung up
I got off my bed and went into the kitchen to start making coffee. It's surprising to me whenever, I actually use the coffee maker because I normally grab some starbucks.
After, my coffee is fix I go get a towel and head to the bathroom. I turn on the water, letting it get hot and I get in. When i'm all done I put on my undergarments, sweatpants and a crop top. I brush my teeth. Soon after, I do my hair, makeup and then I make my way to my car.
When I get in, I let it warm up then take off. I don't know where Louis's flat is, so I type it in to my bulit in GPS and head towards him flat. When I get there I park on the side and walk onto the sidewalk.
Once I find his address I stand there and think to myself before knocking. To my surprise Liam answers the door, and he looks confused."Who's at the door babe?" I hear a girl voice
"Um it's just a friend" Liam says looking at her
"Really...? Just a friend? Tell me is she the reason why you haven't been around."
"Isabella, you know that's not why."
"No Liam, I don't know why. Can you explain?" I said back trying to choke back tears
He opens the door and tells me to come in. I began to think who is this girl? How long has she been around? And most importantly why hasn't he been around?