Interrogate Prodigy [CLOSED]

This is almost one of those cliche question movellas except I put my Prodigious spin on it. I would give credit to the person I copied it from, but that person copied it from someone else, and they copied it from someone else and at this point it's almost impossible to know who started it. If anyone knows, let ME know and I'll put it here in place of this long rambling paragraph that you're wasting your time reading. Ask me stuff. Go on. [CLOSED]

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8. Rod (3), Crystalar99, DramaticllamaNightshade, ThatGirlWithASpoon, DragonSoulJess(2), Tricky M.B. (6)

    Prodigy took a short nap and woke up to find DragonSoulJess ripping off her fire-proof armor to get the fish, which Rod had presumably put there, out. As the fish dropped to the ground, Rod gathered them up gently and put them in a fishbowl full of water.

    “Good job, my minions. I will be forever grateful,” he muttered to them. “Now, I BURN YOU!!!!”

    After the burning had commenced, Rod realized he still had questions to ask. 

    “Give her a break from burning for a sec, Rod, and ask these questions,” Raven advised.

    “Alright. Can I have a dragon?” he asked hopefully.

    “Please say no, please say no,” Raven muttered.

    Prodigy smirked. To spite Raven, she said, “Sure. You can use it to burn people.”

    “Can I burn Raven?”

    “Why not? Have at it.”

    Raven glared at Prodigy.

    “Can I build the dragon out of the ashes of my victims?” Rod asked.

    “I’d rather you didn’t have any victims’ ashes...” Prodigy said. “This is getting a bit concerning. I’m going to go with no.”

    “Can I call it ‘Lishrer’?” 

    Prodigy replied, “Sure.”

    “At the end of this will there even be anyone alive?” 

    Prodigy gave him a concerned look. “You’re just burning people, not killing them, right?!?!”

    “Err....” Rod replied. 

    “Well, it won’t matter after Snape gets here,” Prodigy said dismissively.

    “I STILL don’t get how I’m Raven’s minion.”

    “That’s not a question,” Prodigy pointed out. “But who in their right mind would put YOU in charge?”

    “PFFFT,” he replied. “Also, what are your thoughts on bop.com, it’s scaring me?!”

    “I think it’s just some kind of internet thingy that I don’t understand. Something about a document that we’re not authorized to read. Probably a government conspiracy. I bet it’s about how they put tracking devices in- Oops. I’m not supposed to talk about that,” Prodigy mumbled. “Go play with your dragon.”

    Rod went excitedly to burn people and ThatGirlWithASpoon raised her hand. “Can I keep someone’s soul in a jar?” she asked. “Not that I’d need to...”

    “Not a jar. But you could certainly find a nice crystal or lamp or automaton.”

    “Can I breath fire?”

    “Only if you’re a dragon.”

    “Can you eat lava?” 

    Prodigy repeated, “Only if you’re a dragon.”

    “Can I try burning Rod?” she asked.

    “You can try, and you’ll succeed...” ThatGirlWithASpoon brightened until Prodigy finished, “...Only if you’re a dragon.”

    She sighed. “Okay. Spoons or forks?”

    “Sporks, naturally.”

    “Okay, my turn!” Crytalar99 said, stepping up. She unfurled a list written on a very long section of parchment, for whatever reason. “What’s your real name?”

    “Christine McCullough. There’s no point in hiding it because I have a link to my etsy shop in my profile and it says it on there.”

    “What color are your eyes?” she asked.

    “Brown.”

    “How many sibling do you have?”

    “One older brother.”

    “Do you think I’m a stalker?”

    Prodigy blinked, “You? No. Should I?”

    Crystal ignored the question. “How many stones are in your backyard?”

    “Somewhere between one and one million.”

    “Do you like waffles?”

    “Yes. Who doesn’t?” Prodigy asked.

    “Do you like pancakes?” she continued.

    “Yes. Especially undercooked when they’re gooey in the middle. I’m strange.”

    “Do you like french toast?” 

    “Why, are you opening a breakfast restaurant?” Prodigy asked rhetorically. “Yes, I do.”

    “What is your fifth pet’s name?” 

    “Hm. My dog, Jack.”

    “What is Giovanni Casselli’s greatest achievement?” 

    Prodigy replied, “That he could learn so much about science and still have faith in the Catholic Church. It’s more than I can say.”

    “Who invented cheese?”

    “Cheese wasn’t invented. It grows on trees,” Prodigy replied.

    “Hey, Rod, you might want to give her some more serum, I think it’s wearing off,” Raven said. “Cheese doesn’t grow on trees, she’s lying.”

    “No, I really believe it grows on cheese trees!” Prodigy protested.

    Raven rolled her eyes. “The sad part is that I don’t doubt that. Continue.”

    “What is the main function of a rubber duck?” Crystal asked.

    “To make bathtime fun.”

    “Who is Leonardo Da Vinci’s great grandfather on his mother’s side?” 

    “Not a clue.”

    “Do you have an iFunny account?” she asked.

    Prodigy answered, “No.”

    “Which brand of water bottles is your favorite?”

    “Aquafina.”

    “Which Witch is Which?” 

    “The right one is the wrong one and the left one is right, naturally.”

    Crystal continued. “Is Elmo your favorite sesame street character?”

    “Never watched sesame street, though if I had to pick, it’d be the cookie monster,” Prodigy admitted. “But I do have a respect for elmo after he was featured in the parody of Aerosmith’s “Janie’s Got a Gun”, “Elmo’s Got a Gun.”

    “He better be?”

    “He better be what?”

    Crystal simply plowed on. “Do you think Raven is behind all these random and slightly stalkerish questions?”

    “Undoubtedly,” Prodigy said with a grin. “I’m kinda curious to know what you two say about me.”

    “Alright, that’s enough from you,” Almighty Zee, Squisher of Fish, said, striding to the front. “My turn. If you were given the ability and choice at this moment, would you burn Rod?”

    “Oh, yes.”

    DramaticllamaNightshade smiled. “Well, my two ZORG companions are willing and quite capable of setting that up for you.”

    Prodigy grinned. “Excellent.”

    Rod, in the process of burning someone, didn’t hear because his fishy senses are a lie.

    “I amend my previous comment to ThatGirlWithASpoon,” Prodigy said. “You’ll only succeed in burning Rod if you’re a dragon or ZORG.”

    “Yes indeed,” Zee said. “But first they have a question for you.”

    “Go on,” Prodigy said to one of the ZORG.

    “Zleep zeep zluzz ZISH zork zolish BAZOOM?”

    Prodigy nodded. “Zeerk zunk zeelish BAZOOM zank zezuzk.” She smiled. “Thank you. I’m so glad I’ve got that Babel fish in my ear.”

    Zee smiled. “Quite useful, aren’t they? I’ll let my ZORG get to work. I think DragonSoulJess has a question for you.”

    Prodigy nodded and turned to her.

    “What will you do when the Fish Army beat you?”

    “Well, see, I’d love to answer that for you, but seeing as they’re not going to beat DWATILNLTDE, then I can’t give you an honest answer. Because, truthfully, DWATILNLTDE is going to win. The ZORG should be proof enough of that. If the FISH army were to beat me, then I would naturally work relentlessly to destroy them until the end of my days.”

    “FISH OR CHICKEN?” Tricky M.B. shouted randomly.

    Prodigy frowned. “I prefer fish when the two are alive, but I like to eat chicken more.”

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