"Do you take ..."
I saw the priest speak but I had been in a vacuum. Niall was at my wedding and he was one of the guests.
".. to live with ..."
I had a panic, but I saw all the time at Harry, the man I wanted to marry.
".. In sickness and in health ..."
or was he the man that I wanted? I glanced towards the guests, but I didn't see Niall. Maybe it was an optical illusion? I didn't relay see him, but I was hoping he was there? But why did I wanted him to be there? I didn't get the pieces together and in the meantime Harry said "Yes!"
"Do you take Maggie Lilly Jefferson...!"
I smiled. I smiled so much that I had no idea what I was smiling at. The priest continued to talk and I was aware that I would say yes. He paused, and I realized it was my turn. Harry was out of breath and I felt his hand shook.
It was as if I wasn't in the right place, but still, I was there. Harry leaned over to me and we kissed. I kissed him, and right away I knew I had done right. Niall was an old ghost and he could no longer affect me.
"Here on your Mr. and Mrs. Styles!"
I chose not to look the guests, and I chose to go out of the church with my head held high. I had the man of my life by my side, and nobody was allowed to destroy that. I was proud and this was my day. This was the day I said yes to my husband and no one could stop us.
I don't know how many guests there were in number. The room was bigger than big, and I noted that there certainly were fifty tables in the room. I just couldn't just look around for Niall and I knew that he still didn't want to see me. Harry smiled at me, I smiled at him and I chose to be happy. I chose to put the old stuff away on a shelf and stop thinking.
Right as it was it came an old man up to our table and he smiled big against Harry.
"I remember it like it was yesterday." he said cheerfully, as so many others had said to Harry. "You ran around on the floor and you played with our dog!"
Harry laughed and he greeted him.
"It wasn't yesterday Bobby Horan!"
I balked. I just stared up at the man and I knew he was Nialls dad. Thus, the entire family was Horan at my wedding and they had no idea who I was? I just stared at him and I felt small.
"This is my wife Maggie!"
I stretched out my hand and I smiled. I felt how he took my hand and he smiled at me. He had no idea that he was holding my hand, the hand that had once caressed Nialls body. The hand that had once wanted to keep Niall, but still let him go.
"So beautiful wife you got!"
I smiled, but I didn't blush.
"Is something wrong?"
I smiled at Harry and I shook my head.
"It's just a lot of people that I don't know!"
He laughed and he kissed me. I felt his lips and I enjoyed. I felt his lips that loved my lips and what was there left to doubt about?
"I have to go to the ladies' room!"
I almost ran over there and I locked the toilet door. I felt small. I felt like a freak and I wondered why I had to feel so much. Niall didn't want me, because he chose another girl. Bobby didn't know me, but he would know who I was, if I talked about it. Harry was my husband and still my thought was constantly on Niall. I was angry at myself. I ruined everything and I just saw darkness. Why? Why had Niall to be there after so many years? I didn't want to see him and I didn't want to say hello.
I unlocked the door and I was on my way out, when someone grabbed me and forced me back into the bathroom. The door was locked and I saw Nialls face. He was red and he was nervous.
"Please!" he whispered. "I just need to see you."
I felt a stone inside my chest.
"You've seen me..." I'd open the door, but he stopped me.
"Please, listen to me!"
I hesitated, but I chose to stay up and I chose to listen.
"I love you!" Niall whispered hoarsely. "It's the wrong time to talk to you, because your husband's out there, but I love you, Maggie."
I looked down at the floor. I didn't want to say what I felt. I just wanted to go to Harry.
"I haven't forgotten you." he continued. "And I don't have sex with my wife!"
I was startled and I looked up at him. He was sad and I saw the tears in his eyes. He was older, but he was Niall.
He swallowed and he looked nervous.
"I promised you, and I did what I promised!"
I almost fainted.
He looked down at the floor and I saw that he wasn't sure about anything.
"I realized what an idiot I was and after you threw me out, I didn't want to be that person that everyone else wanted." he looked at me. "I'm unhappy, my wife's unhappy but we try."
I just wanted to scream at him, but at the same time not.
"It's too late." I whispered. "I have a husband now and he loves me and I love him."
Niall looked into my eyes and I saw that he was suffering.
"Do you love Harry?"
I hesitated, but I didn't want to hesitate.
"Look me in the eye and tell me that you love Harry more than you love me."
I refused, but he didn't give up. In the end, I looked into his eyes and I swallowed.
"I love Harry more than I love you...."
We were quiet and we just looked at each other. Niall calmed down and a smile appeared.
"Thank you!" he whispered happily. "That was what I wanted to know."
"But what ...?"
He leaned forward and our lips met. He kissed me so tenderly and I felt the whole stomach tingled. It was as if I was young again, I stood in my room and I was in charge of Tess. I stood and kissed Niall, the young guy who got what he wanted, but not really. He didn't get me.