13. The Sadest-Story
Carter walked into Marky's room, expecting to find him huddled in the corner watching anime on his iPod. He wasn't there. Instead she saw her favorite Killjoy shirt on the windowsill. She walked over and grabbed it. Underneath was a note. Written in blood, "I love you." She knew what this meant. Marky was gone. Her heart broke and she ran into the bathroom. She threw up everything in her system without even trying. Marky was gone. She ran to his room again and curled up in his bed. Carter cried for an hour until she started to process the situation. She was in love. The one she was in love with was dead. Probably because of her. She stood up and grabbed the knife from the bedside table. With three lines, she cut a large M into her upper left arm. She climbed onto the window sill, getting ready to jump. Alice ran in and grabbed Carter by the waist, pulling her back into Marky's room. Alice pinned her to the ground. "Carter. Don't do it. Marky wouldn't want you to." Carter squinted her eyes shut and started sobbing. Jax walked into the room, "They found his body." Carter screamed and started to squirm. Jax picked up Carter and carried her into Marky's bed. "Carter, it's not your fault." He stroked her hair and pulled her into a tight hug. He whispered, "You can stay here as long as you want." He left Carter in Marky's bed and grabbed his phone.
"Hey Jason. I need someone to split rent. Want to live in New York for a while?" "Sure. I'll be up tomorrow." Jax's old friend, Jason, was coming to stay with him so he could pay rent. He herd a noise coming from Marky's room. Jax rushed inside. Carter's wrist was covered with blood and there was a knife on the floor. Jax rushed to Carter and scooped her up in his arms. He carried the frail girl into the bathroom and sat her on the counter. He grabbed a roll of gauze and started to wrap Carter's wrist. She started to complain, "You really don't need to do this Jax." "Yes I do. You need someone right now and I guess that's me." "Jax, I'll be fine." "No you won't." He taped the end of the gauze and grabbed some bracelets from a drawer. "Is it okay if I put these on you?" Jax asked Carter. She nodded and Jax carefully slid six bracelets over her bandages. "Thanks," Carter sniffled. "Now you need some lunch. What do you want?" "I already ate." "No you didn't. I'm making tacos." "I'm not eating them." "I will force you to." "No you won't." "I'll at least try."
Jax took a taco from the tray and brought it to Carter's room. "Here." He gave it to her. "No." "Carter, you have to eat." "No I don't." Jax yelled into the living room, "ALICE! GET IN HERE AND MAKE CARTER EAT HER TACOS!" Alice rushed in. "Carter, you need to eat your taco." "I can't." "I will make you eat it." "That's impossible." "Nothing is impossible. Jax, pin her to the bed." Jax sat on Carter's legs and grabbed her hands, afraid he would hurt her if he grabbed her wrists. Carter yelled, "Please don't!" Alice said quietly, "Carter, do it for Marky." Carter grabbed the taco and took a bite. "Just because you tell me to do it for Marky doesn't mean I'll do it. I'll do what I want. Can you guys leave me alone now? I just want some time to think." "Okay. Holler if you need anything." Alice and Jax went back to the girls' apartment.
"Is she gonna be okay?" Jax asked. "Why do you suddenly care about others besides yourself?" "Look. Marky saw the good in me. And Carter reminds me so much of Marky." "Why do you like me?" "You're hot as fuck." "Nothing else?" "You make good food." "And?" "You're good in bed?" "Ugh."
Carter waited for her friends to leave before she kicked off the covers. She quietly walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As she waited for the water to warm up, she turned on some music. She had Marky's iPod and played "21 Guns" by Green Day. He loved Green Day. She stepped in and the hot water relaxed her. Carter stood there for a few minutes until she couldn't take it anymore. She sat down on the floor of the shower and cried. It didn't help that this was the place she and Marky had first done it. Alice knocked on the door. "Can I come in?" Carter got up, turned off the shower, and wrapped a towel around herself. "Come in." She sniffled. Alice came in and took a seat on the closed toilet. "Carter, I know it's hard. I miss him too. You just need to keep holding on. If you want to talk ever. And I mean ever, even if I'm having sex or getting drunk, I will always be here to talk to you." Carter broke down on the tile floor sobbing. "I don't want to live without Marky. I-I only knew him for a few weeks but he was my happiness. I don't think I can go on anymore." Alice sat on the floor next to Carter. "Carter, you can't kill yourself. We can't have that many deaths. Cut yourself, starve yourself, even do weed. You have to stay alive. I'm watching you take your pills from now on. No more open windows. No macrame. No large knives. No guns, and no exceptions."
Jax had the funeral planned and just needed Carter's approval on some stuff. Alice and Jax had agreed that Carter should sing something but they weren't sure what yet. They had reserved a church and invited Marky's relatives. It had been difficult explaining why he jumped. Especially since Jax did all the talking.